hard news to hear, but take one day at a time. when our youngest came fourth months early, the docs gave her less than a 10% chance to survive the birth. and IF she did, there WOULD be a bunch of medical problems. well she made it thru the birt, did have some problems, but the meds took care of some, and some resolved themselves(with help from above we're sure). The docs wouldn't give us any positive hope. they couldn't because things can change in an instant. Two days after I got the wife home, the hospital called and told us they were losing our little girl. after a mad dash back up, she had recovered. there were several times she was on total life support. But she graduated high school this past year with hionors, completly healthy.
be there for your son, and wife as you have been. need to vent, plenty of good people hear! your family has a long tough road ahead. Prayers sent for you and yours.