Stupidest thing? You mean besides a Norelco on the tongue? Hmmm. Have to think for a minute.

Ok. Got it.

Before we were married, my wife lived in an apartment. One year for Christmas, I decided to give her a VCR for one of her presents. Went to hook it up and realized that the electrical outlet by the TV, only had one recepticle working. Now, since outlets are like a buck at Wally World, I figured I'd just replace it, instead of having to wait for the maintenance guy to show up eventually. So, I bought an outlet but hadn't installed it yet. This is where it gets good.
I was getting ready to pick her up for the company Christmas party, so I decided it'd be cool to drive the Charger. Went to the party, had a good time, got back to her place afterwards. I decided, at 9pm on a Sunday night, that this would be a good time for me to switch out the outlet. She started to change out of her dress clothes, in preparation for bed, while I got the "implements of destruction" ready. I took the faceplate off, and pulled the outlet and wires out from the wall. The previous installer had attached the wires, not with the Man screws, but with the lazy, yuppy push-in-and-lock slot. You know what I'm talking about, right? In order to release the wire from the back of the outlet, you have to push in on a little tab by each hole, which then releases the wire. Instead of the screw, unscrew alternative. My girlfriend/wife only had a pair of screwdrivers, a hammer, and a pair of pliers that a mechanic had left in her car at some time. None of the aforementioned "tools" would fit into the itty-bitty hole to release the wire. Ahhhh, but! She did have a nice, slender, serrated steak knife in the kitchen. Now, I'm not stupid. I did shut off the breaker that powered up that circuit so I wouldn't fry myself. Bad part was, was the lights in that half of the apartment were also on the same breaker. No problem. Rounding out her tool stash, was one of them plastic, dollar flashlights. Perfect for this job. I proceeded, by the light of the magic lamp (flashlight) to hold the outlet in one had, while pushing on the tab with the steak knife in the other AND pulling on the wire with a couple fingers off the first hand. Got it? So, I'm pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling and POP!!! The first wire comes out. Then the second wire, I'm pushing, pulling, pushing some more and POP!!! The second wire is released from it's electrical prison. Only one wire left. I readjust the flashlight and proceed. I'm pushing, pulling, and pushing some more. It's being stuborn. Pushing, pulling, pushing and...... You know the sound you might make, if you were playing in the bathtub, and you wanted to make boat motor noises? You'd put your mouth just under the water line and blow bubbles while humming, right? Sort of a "bububububububub". Remember that. So, I was still pushing, pulling trying to get the last wire out of the back of the outlet, when (motorboat noise here * ) up the knife, my ring finger did go. Just like a kid with a stick running along a picket fence. My instant reflex was to shake my hand (everybody does this when they cut or smash a finger/hand, right?) and when I did, I felt something wet hit my face. I then grabbed my finger, and in the dark, said, "Uh, PAAMMMMM. I think you'd better get in here!" Which she did. Came running out of the bathroom where she had only had time to partially, um, get ready for bed. She said, "What?!" I said I cut my finger as I was passing her for the bathroom. I got in there and put my hands in the sink and opened my hand and I won't tell you about what I saw. I closed my hand, told her I needed a paper towel or 3. I looked at myself in the mirror and figured out what the wet stuff was that hit me in the face, blood. She got me the paper towels and asked me if I thought I needed stitches. I opened my hand up and she said, "YES!!!!" So, here's the problem. Half the apartment is dark, where's my keys, wires hanging out of the wall, I didn't want to flip the breaker and burn the whole complex down, so, I did what anybody else would have done: I finished the job. She held the flashlight, and I, with my finger wadded up in a papertowel, continued to push and pull til the stupid wire came out. Put the new one in, WITH the lazy man's way (I had a good reason, ok?). Got it mounted and then flipped the breaker on only to see a 3 foot line of red stuff running up the wall from where I had been working. Called my parent's house and let my mom know what was going on. She wanted to know if I could drive (4 speed Charger). Said yes. Girlfriend and I left the apartment to the walk-in healthcare, just a couple blocks up the street. Closed. Had to drive to the hospital. Drove to the highway, ran a quick jaunt down to the next exit. Exiting the highway, funny thing. The Charger hiccupped (or missed). It had never done that, but it was still running and since the hospital was only 2 blocks away, didn't see any reason to turn around and go home. Got in to the emergency room and they started fixing me up. The doctor came in with the big needle and said he was going to stick the finger with numbing stuff (the name escapes me at this writing, I'm tired, ok?). No problem, I'll just lay here and not watch you do that. He splayed my hand out on the table and spread out my fingers. Took the needle and jabbed it into the one side of my finger, almost ramming it through the table, or so I thought. Then the other side, same thing, except it felt like he didn't remove it completely, before he rotated it and then it felt like he was running down the length of my finger, before removing it. He left. I told Pam, "It FELT like he was trying to stick it through the TABLE." She said, "It LOOKED like he was trying to stick it through the table!" He came back and started his work. He said, "You're probably wondering what this white, fatty looking stuff is called (that was sticking out)." I said yes. He said, "That's white fatty stuff." Great. A comedian. 4 stitches and we left the E-room. Started for home, but not the highway (Thank God, now that I think about it, some 10 years later...). Got a mile or so from the hospital and the Charger missed/coughed again. Hmmmm. Then once more, and then it just quit altogether. Looked at the gauges and ARRRGH!! Out of gas. Luckily, we coasted into the parking lot of a gas station, except they were closed. Told Pam to give me a quarter so I could call home. She said, "Um, I cleaned out my purse before the party." Unbelievable. Had to call my mom, collect, to bring me some gas, at the gas station where we were sitting.