The 87 vs. 30 does matter depending on what you're doing. 30 is your common, so it is in contact with 87a when at rest and 87 when energized. So you have ground going to the motors at rest, and 12v+ when energized (switch activated). Is that what you're trying to do? I'm still leaning toward the switch input. I'm not familiar with the power window switches, but they may also be putting out a ground signal rather than a positive. Grab a multimeter and see what your wire coming from the switch is doing when you hit the switch. Is it pumping out 12v+ or a ground? Focus on getting that relay to energize first. All it takes is a negative on 85 or 86 and a positive on the opposite terminal. Listen for that click, if you hear it then you're in business. If not, then something is wrong with either your 85 or 86 terminal. If you hear that relay clicking then you can move onto actually getting it to power the window motor.