Ugh, sorry. So much good info and insight above.

What she did was crappy and shows a lack of empathy that is troubling.

Your reality now is that she wants you out and wants a divorce.

Divorce is a civil procedure and you need a lawyer. Yes, you can proceed without one but it would not be in your best interest. Get a good one.

One thing we don't know here is what your relative incomes are. If she is pulling down more dough, there could be a surprise for her.

Also on the house - sure it is in her name, but did you contribute to the upkeep, upgrades, repairs, taxes, etc? You might be entitled to 50% of the appreciation of the house and maybe more. A good lawyer will suss that out for you - every state is different in that regard.

DO NOT share your plans with her. Your lawyer (when you get one) is your strategist - don't tip your hand to her and her lawyer.

I don't know how long you were married but I am sorry for the hurt and the inconvenience.

I was married 7 years and kicked my useless narcissist wife out after I had enough. It's tough on the kids, and tough on me not see the kids more than 50% of the time, but otherwise it's been a lifesaver.

I am happy to have that negativity out of my life - much less stressed over here. I also managed to keep ALL of my stuff. How? She didn't get a lawyer.