Veteran Suicide- My Brother
#2844732
11/11/20 01:26 AM
11/11/20 01:26 AM
|
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 168 San Diego
JP8
OP
member
|
OP
member
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 168
San Diego
|
My Brother and I are Combat Veterans. He served in Iraq and Afghanistan. When he came home from Iraq I left. About a year later he went to Afghanistan. He did a year in each theater and was in vehicles that had been blown up in each theater. He had traumatic brain injuries from each of those. He was 100% disabled (PTSD-TBI) and battled alcoholism and a meth addiction. He was supposed to go into a VA Mental Health facility and check in today, the day before Veterans Day.
He had an outstanding warrant from a failure to appear for mental health evaluation. He went to my parents house to borrow $20, he routinely blew through his disability check at the beginning of the month. My parents wouldn't give him the money, knowing he was going to score a hit and party before going into treatment. They went into their bedroom to talk about what to do and he barged in and grabbed my mom's pistol and put it in his mouth.
This was last night, 11/09/2020, and they witnessed everything. It happened so fast. He was still breathing until this morning but he died from "Catastrophic Brain Injury", a day before Veteran's Day.
I too have a TBI and quite a few LOC's (Loss of consciousness). One was more than 30 minutes. I know the toll it takes on you. Memory loss is unreal. Confusion and anger. We will never know what went on in his brain and sadly will not have the option of studying it post mortem.
My parents are in the middle of building a new house next door and I want to just go burn the old family home down. I can't believe this happened in their bedroom. I can believe it happened the way it did. I always thought he would go out from a drunk driving, bad drug deal, or suicide. Our uncle who was an Army Ranger used a shotgun during a family fishing trip. I just never imagined it this way, in front of the parents. I have been there myself with suicidal thoughts but my kids always keep me from going through with it. Such a little thing can drive someone in this state to do the unthinkable. Hell, frustration over my projects, fights with the wife, feeling like everything I touch turns to hell because I can't concentrate long enough to see one task through. My wife and kids are perfect in my eyes and I owe it to them to keep plodding along and getting up every morning.
My Brother had no wife or kids. All he had were a bunch of mistakes to live with. Burnt bridges. Failed relationships. My Mom was the only woman that loved him unconditionally. All his friends were out for his disability check and he knew it. He just couldn't shake that lifestyle. I know how he felt. "I'm a loser." Nobody loves me". "I can't do anything right." The thought is something that worms it's way into your mind and soul. If you don't have someone to pull you back from the edge you're toast. Some people will never swallow pride and ask for help. If that sounds like you, ask for help. If you think there is nobody that loves you go to a church. Go to the VFW. I just don't know what to say. I am a few states away and was never there. Honestly, due to his drug problem and him being violent with my parents a few years ago I didn't want anything to do with him. I wish I had at least had his phone number and called every once in a while. When I first came back from Iraq I leaned on him and he talked me back from the edge. He had a good soul in there somewhere. He was just so tormented and trapped in addiction. Guys, just watch out for people with TBI's. I'm reminded of football players (Junior Seau), wrestlers, boxers, firefighter, cops, and regular folks that have just taken some bonks on the head. Combat Vets and veterans in general are in the forefront with the sheer numbers, 22 a day, but in my current line of work, as a wildland firefighter, suicide is running rampant. Empathy and compassion can be the thing that helps someone seek the therapy thy need.
Only the dead have seen the end of war. Rest in peace, Kris.
Instagram : @5_points_racing
|
|
|
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother
[Re: Kern Dog]
#2844741
11/11/20 05:25 AM
11/11/20 05:25 AM
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 30,424 Florida STAYcation
dOc !
The village idiot's idiot
|
The village idiot's idiot
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 30,424
Florida STAYcation
|
Thank you for the humility and bravery to tell this story. Nobody can know the pain like the one that lives with it. RIP to your brother, friend. He is at peace now. X 99 ... some gave all - all gave some.
|
|
|
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother
[Re: Fat_Mike]
#2844746
11/11/20 07:11 AM
11/11/20 07:11 AM
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,806 Northern NJ
StukaJU87
master
|
master
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,806
Northern NJ
|
This hits hard brother. I am so saddened to hear of this tragedy. May God bless you, your parents and all affected by this tragic loss. May your brother rest in peace.
Scott
1969 Super Bee, 383/4 speed
|
|
|
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother
[Re: StukaJU87]
#2844748
11/11/20 07:36 AM
11/11/20 07:36 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,494 Western Colorado High Desert
moparmarks
I Live Here
|
I Live Here
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,494
Western Colorado High Desert
|
Man that is so sad. As a parent I can only try and imagine the trauma that your parents are going through. Very sorry for your lost and many thanks for your sacrifice. This country does not take care of it's veterans. Way too many needless suicides.
Last edited by moparmarks; 11/11/20 12:05 PM.
72 Satellite Sebring Plus 440, 72 Dart 5.9 4-spd, 68 Valiant, 73 W200, 78 D100 sb, 78 D200, 98 DAKOTA, . Moparmarks Parts & Restorations Desert Mopar Metal Grand Jct. CO 970-261-7039 http://moparmark.com/motormangj@gmail.com
|
|
|
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother
[Re: BH27G1B]
#2844777
11/11/20 10:13 AM
11/11/20 10:13 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,831 east side of Ohio
basketcase
master
|
master
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,831
east side of Ohio
|
To all the Brave Men and Women that have and are serving, know that the rest of us are forever in your debt for the sacrifices you have made to protect our freedom. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. It sounds like you had lost him long before last night. Know that you are loved, even by those you have never met.
Dave
1981 Dodge D150 360 auto
|
|
|
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother
[Re: JP8]
#2844793
11/11/20 11:33 AM
11/11/20 11:33 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,393 Highland, MI.
Sunroofcuda
master
|
master
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,393
Highland, MI.
|
OMG, this was so hard to read & hear about. My heart goes out to you & your parents & I hope you all can learn to cope with this tragedy. So sorry for your brother in that he could not beat his demons & may he rest in peace. I really hope there is a wonderful place we all go after struggling through tough times in our lives. All my best to you - never give up.
No Man With A Good Car Needs To Be Justified
|
|
|
Re: Veterqan Suicide- My Brother
[Re: Sunroofcuda]
#2844807
11/11/20 12:14 PM
11/11/20 12:14 PM
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 16,133 Mesa, Arizona
dart4forte
I Live Here
|
I Live Here
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 16,133
Mesa, Arizona
|
Oh so sorry for your loss, I’m sure both you and your parents are devastated. Grieve your brother and try to put all the good times you two had together. Get help for yourself and especially your parents. They too now will suffer the affects of post traumatic stress.
“So if it’s on the internet it must be true”
Abe Lincoln
|
|
|
|
|