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Veteran Suicide- My Brother #2844732
11/11/20 01:26 AM
11/11/20 01:26 AM
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 147
San Diego
J
JP8 Offline OP
member
JP8  Offline OP
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J

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 147
San Diego
My Brother and I are Combat Veterans. He served in Iraq and Afghanistan. When he came home from Iraq I left. About a year later he went to Afghanistan. He did a year in each theater and was in vehicles that had been blown up in each theater. He had traumatic brain injuries from each of those. He was 100% disabled (PTSD-TBI) and battled alcoholism and a meth addiction. He was supposed to go into a VA Mental Health facility and check in today, the day before Veterans Day.

He had an outstanding warrant from a failure to appear for mental health evaluation. He went to my parents house to borrow $20, he routinely blew through his disability check at the beginning of the month. My parents wouldn't give him the money, knowing he was going to score a hit and party before going into treatment. They went into their bedroom to talk about what to do and he barged in and grabbed my mom's pistol and put it in his mouth.

This was last night, 11/09/2020, and they witnessed everything. It happened so fast. He was still breathing until this morning but he died from "Catastrophic Brain Injury", a day before Veteran's Day.

I too have a TBI and quite a few LOC's (Loss of consciousness). One was more than 30 minutes. I know the toll it takes on you. Memory loss is unreal. Confusion and anger. We will never know what went on in his brain and sadly will not have the option of studying it post mortem.

My parents are in the middle of building a new house next door and I want to just go burn the old family home down. I can't believe this happened in their bedroom. I can believe it happened the way it did. I always thought he would go out from a drunk driving, bad drug deal, or suicide. Our uncle who was an Army Ranger used a shotgun during a family fishing trip. I just never imagined it this way, in front of the parents. I have been there myself with suicidal thoughts but my kids always keep me from going through with it. Such a little thing can drive someone in this state to do the unthinkable. Hell, frustration over my projects, fights with the wife, feeling like everything I touch turns to hell because I can't concentrate long enough to see one task through. My wife and kids are perfect in my eyes and I owe it to them to keep plodding along and getting up every morning.

My Brother had no wife or kids. All he had were a bunch of mistakes to live with. Burnt bridges. Failed relationships. My Mom was the only woman that loved him unconditionally. All his friends were out for his disability check and he knew it. He just couldn't shake that lifestyle. I know how he felt. "I'm a loser." Nobody loves me". "I can't do anything right." The thought is something that worms it's way into your mind and soul. If you don't have someone to pull you back from the edge you're toast. Some people will never swallow pride and ask for help. If that sounds like you, ask for help. If you think there is nobody that loves you go to a church. Go to the VFW. I just don't know what to say. I am a few states away and was never there. Honestly, due to his drug problem and him being violent with my parents a few years ago I didn't want anything to do with him. I wish I had at least had his phone number and called every once in a while. When I first came back from Iraq I leaned on him and he talked me back from the edge. He had a good soul in there somewhere. He was just so tormented and trapped in addiction.

Guys, just watch out for people with TBI's. I'm reminded of football players (Junior Seau), wrestlers, boxers, firefighter, cops, and regular folks that have just taken some bonks on the head. Combat Vets and veterans in general are in the forefront with the sheer numbers, 22 a day, but in my current line of work, as a wildland firefighter, suicide is running rampant. Empathy and compassion can be the thing that helps someone seek the therapy thy need.

Only the dead have seen the end of war. Rest in peace, Kris.


Instagram : @5_points_racing
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844737
11/11/20 02:20 AM
11/11/20 02:20 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,408
Chicago, Illinois
Devil Offline
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Devil  Offline
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Posts: 10,408
Chicago, Illinois
I'm so sorry for your parents, you , everyone involved. So tragic, your words ring true. My thoughts are with you all.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: Devil] #2844738
11/11/20 02:47 AM
11/11/20 02:47 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 18,080
Granite Bay CA
Kern Dog Offline
I Live Here
Kern Dog  Offline
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Posts: 18,080
Granite Bay CA
Thank you for the humility and bravery to tell this story. Nobody can know the pain like the one that lives with it.
RIP to your brother, friend. He is at peace now.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: Kern Dog] #2844741
11/11/20 05:25 AM
11/11/20 05:25 AM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 26,279
Florida STAYcation
dOc - 3.0 ! Offline
still the village idiot
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Posts: 26,279
Florida STAYcation
Originally Posted by Frankenduster
Thank you for the humility and bravery to tell this story. Nobody can know the pain like the one that lives with it.
RIP to your brother, friend. He is at peace now.


X 99 ... some gave all - all gave some.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844743
11/11/20 05:51 AM
11/11/20 05:51 AM
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,138
N.W. Florida
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Fat_Mike Offline
top fuel
Fat_Mike  Offline
top fuel
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,138
N.W. Florida
That's heartbreaking. Please accept my sincere condolences to you and your parents. Your poor parents can't unsee what unfolded before their eyes, and will have to live with that for the rest of their days. So tragic. And you need to take your own advice. Seek help, lean on your friends and family, and of course you and your family need to be there for each other. God bless you all. Be well, and may Kris rest in peace.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: Fat_Mike] #2844746
11/11/20 07:11 AM
11/11/20 07:11 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,806
Northern NJ
StukaJU87 Offline
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StukaJU87  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,806
Northern NJ
This hits hard brother. I am so saddened to hear of this tragedy. May God bless you, your parents and all affected by this tragic loss. May your brother rest in peace.


Scott

1969 Super Bee, 383/4 speed


Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: StukaJU87] #2844748
11/11/20 07:36 AM
11/11/20 07:36 AM
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,217
Western Colorado High Desert
moparmarks Offline
I Live Here
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I Live Here

Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 12,217
Western Colorado High Desert
Man that is so sad. As a parent I can only try and imagine the trauma that your parents are going through. Very sorry for your lost and many thanks for your sacrifice. This country does not take care of it's veterans. Way too many needless suicides.

Last edited by moparmarks; 11/11/20 12:05 PM.

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Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: StukaJU87] #2844749
11/11/20 07:38 AM
11/11/20 07:38 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 6,049
Abilene, Texas
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fastmark Offline
master
fastmark  Offline
master
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 6,049
Abilene, Texas
I’m sorry that your sacrifice to this country has caused you and your family such pain. I think you guys are the forgotten heroes. I pray that God will give you peace and keep focused on your family and they love you have for each other.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844757
11/11/20 08:20 AM
11/11/20 08:20 AM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,275
W. Kentucky
justinp61 Offline
I Live Here
justinp61  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,275
W. Kentucky
I'm sorry for your loss and thank you for your service.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: justinp61] #2844770
11/11/20 09:56 AM
11/11/20 09:56 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,140
So Near, Yet So Far
topside Offline
I Live Here
topside  Offline
I Live Here

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 18,140
So Near, Yet So Far
I'm so sorry for you & your family's loss.
Also sad and sorry for the torment he suffered.
We owe our Veterans pretty much everything, and that should start with proper support & counseling when it's time to return to civilian life.
Know that rational folks hold you guys in highest regard for your service.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844774
11/11/20 10:06 AM
11/11/20 10:06 AM
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 357
MA
BH27G1B Offline
enthusiast
BH27G1B  Offline
enthusiast

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 357
MA
My wife and I are so sorry to hear of this, and we thank you for your service and pray for your family.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: BH27G1B] #2844777
11/11/20 10:13 AM
11/11/20 10:13 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,686
east side of Ohio
basketcase Offline
master
basketcase  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 7,686
east side of Ohio
To all the Brave Men and Women that have and are serving, know that the rest of us are forever in your debt for the sacrifices you have made to protect our freedom. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. It sounds like you had lost him long before last night. Know that you are loved, even by those you have never met.


Dave


1981 Dodge D150 360 auto
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: basketcase] #2844784
11/11/20 10:54 AM
11/11/20 10:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 41,767
Round Lake Beach, Illinoisy
Rhinodart Offline
Rhinotruck
Rhinodart  Offline
Rhinotruck

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 41,767
Round Lake Beach, Illinoisy
No words... bawling angel


The funny thing about science is that if you change one miniscule parameter you change the entire outcome to the way you want it.

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A-Body's RULE!
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844789
11/11/20 11:15 AM
11/11/20 11:15 AM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 18,340
Puttin' on the foil in Charles...
not_a_charger Offline
Mr. Big Shot Moparts Moderator
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Mr. Big Shot Moparts Moderator

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 18,340
Puttin' on the foil in Charles...
Sorry for the loss of your brother, and for the tragedy your family has suffered.


Earning every penny of that moderator paycheck.

DBAP
Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844793
11/11/20 11:33 AM
11/11/20 11:33 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,065
Highland, MI.
Sunroofcuda Offline
master
Sunroofcuda  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 8,065
Highland, MI.
OMG, this was so hard to read & hear about. My heart goes out to you & your parents & I hope you all can learn to cope with this tragedy. So sorry for your brother in that he could not beat his demons & may he rest in peace. I really hope there is a wonderful place we all go after struggling through tough times in our lives. All my best to you - never give up.


No Man With A Good Car Needs To Be Justified
Re: Veterqan Suicide- My Brother [Re: Sunroofcuda] #2844807
11/11/20 12:14 PM
11/11/20 12:14 PM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,842
Mesa, Arizona
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dart4forte Offline
I Live Here
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I Live Here
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 15,842
Mesa, Arizona
Oh so sorry for your loss, I’m sure both you and your parents are devastated. Grieve your brother and try to put all the good times you two had together. Get help for yourself and especially your parents. They too now will suffer the affects of post traumatic stress.

Re: Veterqan Suicide- My Brother [Re: dart4forte] #2844833
11/11/20 12:47 PM
11/11/20 12:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 16,193
north of coder
moparx Offline
"Butt Crack Bob"
moparx  Offline
"Butt Crack Bob"

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 16,193
north of coder
so, so, sorry for your loss ! please accept my condolences...........
angel

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844856
11/11/20 01:23 PM
11/11/20 01:23 PM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 11,528
Looking for a way out of Middl...
IMGTX Online content
I Live Here
IMGTX  Online Content
I Live Here

Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 11,528
Looking for a way out of Middl...
I am very sorry for your loss and the trauma everyone in your family has endured.

No words can help but your family is in my prayers.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: JP8] #2844887
11/11/20 02:06 PM
11/11/20 02:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 711
MN
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Droop69 Offline
super stock
Droop69  Offline
super stock
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 711
MN
So sad to hear about your Brother. Please get some help for you and your parents.

God bless.

Re: Veteran Suicide- My Brother [Re: Droop69] #2844920
11/11/20 03:04 PM
11/11/20 03:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,858
my own world
theraif Offline
master
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 6,858
my own world
angel

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