If I don't see at least one G** D*** deer a week on my way to work its a F*****G christmas miracle!

The closest call was a couple years back in the wee hours of the morning. I was driving a beat to heck '73 Challenger up a rural road trying to beat the clock, when out of the corner of my eye, I see a stupid deer running full blast to cross the road in front of me. I swerved toward its butt end while slamming on the brakes, pitching the car into a slide at 60mph. Narrowly missing the deer, I furiously sawed back & forth on the wheel while working the brakes & gas and managed to keep the Dodge outta the ditches while keeping my underpants in a mostly un-sullied state. I hate deer.