Me too.

On a serious note, I was not making fun of your predicament. It’s a phrase we use a lot around here

That metallic noise, could be a lot of things. Might want to try the old metal rod held to your ear trick.
Place it at different points around the engine and see where it is the strongest.

Try rocking the crank back and forth when you hear it, see if it’s slop in the rotating assembly, etc.

At this point with all the fuel you had in the oil, it’s probably a good idea to pull the pan.
Check the rod bearings, look up at the bores. Checking the filter isn’t going to be conclusive, you could have wounded the bearings bad enough yet not put any metal in the filter.