I'm stealing idea this from dragraceresults.com...what is some of the funny things you've heard or said in the staging lanes? Here's my favorite...
Sitting in the lanes at Norwalk waiting for round 1. I'm on the hood of my "race" car at the time, a rusty, brown, slant six powered '78 Aspen with a fair amount of racing stickers. The guy behind me with his mid 80s Camaro and his boys are talking loudly enough for me to hear what a POS my car is, shouldn't be on the track, easy first round, yadda, yadda. I say nothing, but a young guy I know hears it all. "Aren't you gonna say anything to these clowns?" "Nah, I'll show him on track." He sneaks over into the group and listens to them for a minute, and says "So, you're pretty sure about beating that heap in front of you, huh?" The driver the laughs and lets loose a rather profane 30 second attack on my car, me, my mental state, my manhood, etc. The young guy looks at him right in the eyes and says, "Dude, Ron's going to kick your a$$. Enjoy your ride home in about 5 minutes." My .007 to his .128, and I gave a friendly wave as he was driving towards the gate...

And another one of mine...
When I had my '72 Dart in the early 90s I go to Thompson, which is a rare occurance. I'm in the lanes putting the dial on my dart (another of my slant powered $500 beauties) when a guy asks "Where did you get that?"
"Get what?"
"The shoe polish."
"It's mine. I keep it in the car for when I'm racing."
"Oh...can I borrow it?"
"Sure..."
He walks a lane over and a few cars back, and i hear him tell his buddy "Watch out for that yellow Dart...he brought his OWN shoe polish!"

Staging lane guy came up to me and said he over heard a guy say. Oh man ,I have to run the guy with the four speed. yea, I beat him

Gotta love it.............One of my favorites was when we went to Bakersfield to get my 9-sec. pass and although not in the lanes but gettin ready to head over there, I asked these guys what lane I should jump in since I have never been to that track and they said "what does it run low 12`s?" Mind you, these guys all had on matching uniforms, a heavily nos`ed up tilt ft. end small block chevelle and I told them it went low 10`s and that my first pass was gonna be a niner.They asked how big of a system I had on it and I told them it was all motor then I got the typical, "ya whatever" look and came back w/my 9.98 timeslip and their jaws dropped...........priceless. What topped it off for me was the fact they couldn`t get their "race car" out of the low tens and the beer just flowed and flowed after that.

A kid I worked with in the 70s had a crappy 55 Chevy.We took it to the track and man did he get a lot of laughs.Drove it there with a 500 buck SB in it.Lots of laughs till he cranked off a high 11 pass 4 times in a row.Rocky

Back in '94, '95 & '96, my first 3 years racing I had won 2 Championships and a R/U and had been on a hot streak when I pulled into the lanes for round one at old MAR. When the guy in front of me, a regular, was paired with me I saw him tilt his head back and tell his wife..."I may as well put my sh.. on the trailer right now and save the fuel." Hey, its always great to have an edge going in. That guy was beat before he ever fired the motor.

if you guys raced in the late 80's youll remember those black buick T-types..they were everywhere.
(the mustang fox bodies didnt come till later.)
anyway..i am at a money race at Atco..there was a big buick race at English town the next evening..
all the buicks were out at Atco to get some runs in..
i went through 3 or 4 of them during eliminations..
these were guys that would show up with polo shirts and members only jackets..and about the only tuning between rounds was a bag of ice on the intake...
anyway..i digress.
the track was running late getting in the final rounds...and past curfew
i had lane choice and some staging confusion allowed the buick to do his burnout in my lane.
as they directed him out of the lane. he jockeyed and put water way forward of the burnout area..
so i come out of my burnout.i hit the water and the car comes loose..
as i back up to dry hop it..the starter franticly motions me to take the tree.
with my hesitation...he redlights my lane the Buick runs solo...for the final win..
i idle down the track..
on my way to the tower..i pass all the buicks lined up..must have been 7 or 8 of them.
they are all patting the guy on the back
i Hear them Say."you kicked that guys a&&" ..i Said..
"Excuse me ?!!!"
you didnt even race me...
He holds up his time card and says..I got the win and this will pay me the big money..
I said. You go get that money and be sure to pay your car payment...ill be back here next week..
so you know where to find me..
i was a cocky 20 something. the next week Pete Kractus put me on the trailer in the 4th round...lol...
chepast

1st EVER Super Rod event....2nd round I end up paired with a Veteran Heavy Hitter, another Veteran Heavy Hitter (names will not be mentioned) stands directly in front of my car and is pointing at me laughing to his buddy (DUCK DINNER) well my .000 to his .024 get the win and he gets the trailer....Oh and the .000 also gets me the Bye in the next round....PRICELESS

Rickster

Mopar Shootout in Albuquerque NM last year, we lined up, while waiting for the TT guys to clear the staging lanes...It became obvious I was going to be racing the previous years champion...A guy whom no one had beat in quite some time...A few people walked up said ..."Hey there's always a buy back"..

I said "Yeah, hope he has 35 bucks"...I took him out in the first round...

in the staging lanes...again mid to late 80s at Atco..
there was these GM Mechanics..(with their dealership Mechanic dark blue uniforms and jackets all matching) they had a new vette..(new for that yr model.the one with the black plastic strip between the upper and lower body 85?-86?)
it was supposed to be some soup'd up version with a bunch of factory add ons...
my duster ran low 13's high 12's (12.90's on a good night)
they were all under the hood..revving the motor.....much ado about nothing...
i see one of them counting cars back...
when he realises they are paired with me..
he pokes one guy..points at me and says..you got that car.. they casually walk over...
I say "Gentleman" and nod my head..
the guy couldnt even look me in the eye..as he walks past me..to size up my car.
i had a 12.90 something on the window...the driver of the vette says..."Ech...yea right 12 ?thats his car # not his dial in....
when we took the tree..he was dialed much slower than me..
as i waited for him to launch..i see him spin it real bad..then bogg..hickup ..then go...
i just smiled..left with a .008 and was past him at the 400 ft mark..
as i came to the stripe..i put just enough pressure on the brake pedal to activate my brake lights but not slow me down..
i tripped the beam with a 12.93 et..right near my dial in....
I later saw them at the movie theater hang out after the races...they had the hood up and 20 people standing around..
as i pulled up...and idled past..the guys who were with him...just stared at me.
that felt good..dont know what they said..
but as a young kid...it felt good..
cheapst

Early 90's here in Al. @ Chatom Dragway, Money run at a big 5k bracket race. " that was a lot of money back in the day" Lot of cars there we were running 3- 4:00am. I'm rolling down the staging lanes and the 2 year running track champion was already waiting on me and was buckled up. A lot of guys split the purse when theres a big difference. Was 5k for first and 1800 for second. They wave us to the water he gets pissed and stops them. Jumps out of his car and ask me if I want to split. I said no lets leave it like it is. He says "ok make it light on yourself" I reach over and roll .005 out of the box. At the finnish line I pat the gas on him twice and stab the brakes. I make the short turn off. I got my car on the trailer and binded down before he gets back to his trailer. You should have seen the smoke coming out his ears..........

This was at a mud race about 10 years or more ago. My buddy drove his 440 truck to the races, with quiet exhaust, and pulled up next to a "race" truck, SBC and loud exhaust. All the guys I was sitting around were going on and on about that POS Dodge going down. Light went green, Galen wound that 440 up and started shifting, and the only thing you could hear was the hum of the fan belts on that 440. When the pass was done, Dodge had won, chevy was going to the loser round. The guys around me were quiet for a while and one finally said "That old Dodge really runs!" Galen didn't take home the finals that day, but there were several times that year he did. He then would drive the truck home, and use it on the farm all week, and as his daily driver. All the other trucks rode around on trailers....

Michael

A friend ran a aginst a 13 sec ramcharger and lost 1st words out of his mouth "'i lost to got dam plow truck""'

one race guy comes over and says" you know what its like when a 16 second car and a 8 second car get together?" so i say " about the same as a 12 second car and an 18 second car". it was 3rd round of box class.

My story will be kinda vague to protect those involved, but it goes like this:

At a particular points race I was at where the season champion was gonna be decided in class, there were 5 to 6 drivers that had a shot at the series. 4 teams had multiple drivers competing in class. While coming to the lanes one of the teams decided to surround their driver with their team cars to give an easy rnd 1 win to. I saw this as I was late in lanes to run. After watching team car one roll the beams red to give their guy the win ala John Force, I went to another of the competing drivers and said how chicken "sh??" that was, one of his team members said,"I think it is kinda clever", later did I notice that their driver competing for points was also surrounded by team cars. Their driver also got a first round win, the guy in the lead with team drivers did not want to pair off against his teamates and eventually won the championship the right way....he earned it. Karma sure does work in mysterious ways don't it?

Oh, and if anyone realizes who I am talking about, there are no hard feelings, just not the way I would ever do it.

For the first 2 years we raced our primer gray junk yard Toyota pick up in the mud, I heard many a foul comment on our rig wile staging, POS was the one that seems to stick in my mind, Since we are a super stock truck and most places we run don't offer that class we get thrown in with the faster pro stock and mod trucks, Well after getting our butts kicked for the first year I built a W5 small block, put all the time and energy into the engine not the paint, It was the most fun ever paying back all the butt heads when we mowed them down round after round the second year, It was even more fun when the naysayers found out it was a mopar not a chevy, On year 3 of racing they kicked us out of super stock cause we painted the truck and the track owners said they were losing entries in super stock cause of us and we would have to step up to a faster class In the last year the super stock has evolved in to a very competitive class and we are having to be on our game again, I think it was more fun when we were always the under dog

A couple years ago I was out at Darlington on a saturday night test and tune playing w/ the cuda. There was a guy w/ a white and red '64 sport fury 426 max wedge NSS car out there also. I went over and talked to him, really nice guy. Asked him about his car (which was very nice), told him I had that cuda over there (it was dark where I parked) and that it was just a street car I played with. I wasn't trying to be shady, but I really was more interested in his max wedge car. He was telling me about his combo and was using the tone as if he was "teaching" me about what fast cars use. He wasn't being a jerk or anything, but some of you know what I mean. I just smiled and didn't say much, didn't want to seem like I was being disrespectful.

We both pull around for our first hit of the night and we happened to get paired up, not intentional. He tree'd me, then I screamed past him. His 10.50 to my 9.60.
We got back to our trailers, he came over and said..."that's one hell of a street car you got there". I smiled and thanked him.

last year at Quarter Aces Dragway at the King of the Track race the guy running the staging lanes over to me and at this point it is the final for the wally and i am running street class and i get paired with the super pro car who is foot braking. the offical tells me i will need a really good package to beat the other driver. the other guy dailed 6.11 me 7.61. i leave and it felt pretty good the other guy goes red. get my time slip .022rt run 7.617 flat out other guy goes -.024 red and runs out. get my wally and winner pics and then drive my hot rod home.it was only the 10th race with my 65 dart. i won King of the Track at Mason Dixon Dragway August 1 and at Quarter Aces on August 23. Bradley

one more on the topic ..
dont wanta be a post hogg...but this one always makes me smile...

i had my duster still after all these yrs (the same car from my previous stories) it was not road worthy..and sat in my garage through multiple houses...for about 16 yrs..
at this point i had my children..and married..
the wife was around for most of my drag racing stories..
but my kids only heard about it..never experiended it..(we went to watch alot..but i never had anything to run)
so i picked up this cream puff 73 scamp /6
i put the running gear (warm 340) from the duster in it..
it looked like granny's grocery getter..
so after getting it running like a top..
i take the car to the dragstrip..(this was around 2003 ish)
so my wife with my kids are in the stands...waiting to watch me ..when its my turn.
so i pull into the lanes..
its just T/T and i pull up against this white 71 bigblock chevelle 2-4s stickin out the hood..
tubbed wheelie bars a wing..ect..
i had white wall tires so a little dry hop burn out and i am up infront of the beams..
this chevelle..does a john force burn out..
backs up ....
does 2 dry hops...hits neutral does a few 6k carb cleaning rev's
(seems he was loading up quite a bit?)
so he is putting on a real dog and pony show..
he finally pulls into the beems..
i stage..
the treee goes green...
i leave...
he hits it ..the car stumbles...falls over..then picks up..
by this time i am about 4 cars out on him...
i go through the stripe about 3ft ahead of him..
my win light comes on...
Later my wife and kids come over all excited that i beat the chevy..
My kids think i am superman...and the wife says
you should have heard everyone in the stands..
they couldnt believe you beat him..
there were no times posted (didnt have a score board just a win light)
i went 7.80 to his 7.20
but my kids thought i was there hero..
my kids love the sport..now..
cheer me on..even poke fun at me when i mess up..
but they are hooked..
that was real special even though it was just circumstance....
cheapst..

the attachment is what the scamp looked like
warm 340 with 3.91 gear and whitewalls..lol

here is a recent example of my kids..cuttin up on me when i mess up..?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj8Q5zjIqW0