What are some funny things you heard people say at the track..Walking through your pit area or whatever...I will start...
Slippery Jack{Mopar body guy you have seen his stuff in magazines doing paint jobs on high end stuff} A rather well endowed gal and her boyfreind walk by my 64...Jack says...Holy Crap!! She has more money stuck in her chest than you do your engine!!
Number two..A few years back..Two guys were having a helluva fist fight behind my car...I ran to my truck and grabbed my jack handle cause they weren't gonna touch my car... All of a sudden one guy goes down...Couple of my buddies saw me standing there holding the handle and thought I whooped him...The not funny part is the guy had a heart attack....
The best one is Jimmys(bad1970dust) bad turkey...Jimmy makes the best turkey in peanut oil and it is good eating!! Lots of our team got the flu the next day and they blamed the turkey..It never bothered me and the wife or Jimmy and Christy...It was so funny ...You had to be there!!

When my son and I were leaving National Trail Raceway after a full day, Don Garlits was making a couple exhibition runs. After push starting one of the old front engine dragsters and warming up the big ol HEMI, a guy walks by us and said "that's oversized cams right there"

I always like this one: open headers will burn exhaust valves...

I was walking into the restroom at RT66 last year as a guy was walking out of a stall. He says "Man, I gotta go change my dial-in now".

My hood was open on my Duster in the staging lanes and two guys walked up to it. One said to the other, very knowledgeably, "There's a fine example of them rare Mopar 6 pack carbs"...then walked off. I have a little Holley 650 on it.

Another guy asked me what kind of engine was in my Duster. I told him a 340. He got pissed and told me I shouldn't be racing such a rare engine and that I should sell it to him so he could preserve it. I asked him what did he think they were built for? lol...

Another time I was leaning against the fender waiting for my class to be called, a guy came up and informed me that my boyfriend wouldn't like me leaning against his car.

I had to giggle at this one...

"If I can improve my reaction time, I know I can get my car down into the 12's."

I race a hemi and one day at the track a guy older than me comes up , looks at my car and says boy this brings back the memories I had one of these when they were new, and I used to scare my buddy's when I gave them a ride, we'd go down the road about 70mph then I would say look out the back window and I'd nail it and start laying black marks!! at 70mph, I just said wow that thing was fast!!

1st timers w/ their new supercharged Fox body that think they are gonna pull 11's on good year eagles and stock suspention. Funny when they get their 14 second slip.
One guy I was talking to in the staging lanes had a 90something SS Camaro stick car w/ very nice Supercharger set up. Looked back saw he even had some stickies, asked him how much boost...says only about 12 for now...asked him if he upgraded to a 12 bolt or 9"..he says naw it will be ok.
Well watched him do his burn out and stage...he dumped the clutch the rear broke and I just watched the gear oil and parts fall from under the car.

A few years back I was in the staging lanes with a friend of mine. I had just built him a 468 for his 71 Monte Carlo. It run really good for what it was. Another racer that has been racing for years but is clueless was standing there talking to him and ask what convertor he was using. He told him it was a 3200 B&M. He said do you use it all at once when you leave the line. He said I guess I do when the lights drop I mash the gas to the floor. The guy then says I don't use all of my convertor leaving the line, I only use part of it and save the rest for the top end. I kinda look at him strange and walk off.

What made it worse is the friend knows very little also. A few minutes later he walks up to me and says can you, I stopped him and said shut up, No. Don't let him touch your car. This same guy asked the tech guy if he can use a Propane tourch to heat up his Nitrous bottle in line. He says sure but make sure you let me know before you do, I don't want to be around.

Everybody thinks my Duster is a Nova. Well exept at mopar races.

at the track a couple of years ago, i was driving down the return road, and a guy i know was getting ready to make a run in a beautiful yellow '68 hemi charger. the owner/ financier has owned this car for many years, and put a bob mazolini (sp) hemi in it. what a beautiful, badass car! the best place to watch a run is from the return road (RIGHT next to the track- kinda scary), so i stop and crack my window. he launches, and sounds like he's shifting at 8000 plus rpm- i couldn't believe how tight he was winding that thing! back in the pits, i approached the driver and asked him a), how high are you revving that thing, and b), WHY? HE DIDN'T KNOW! he didn't know what he was revving it to. i was flabbergasted. he blew the engine up the following weekend at woodburn and almost lost the car. knucklehead. tragic. split the mega block right down the middle. i guess that's not funny. forget i brought it up.

When asked what the engine was in my car:
"It's got a 440 Wedge in it."

And here's what I get back:
"OH the one with the Hemi heads?"

On several occasions, to me...........

"You got a big block in that thing?"

My usual response........

"Did it sound like it?"

I can't say that its Funny to hear,but the looks on peoples faces(why are there so many chevy people)when they see the rear of my scoop. Don't know why all it say's is "The Heart-Beat Stops Here MOPAR" Some of them will stand there for mins with a blank look on there face.

PS I can back it up too

The next would have to be,If we would had another 10' I would have won

a friend of mine just put his new tranny in his car, ran it down the track and it shifted like a slug. when he got back, he went over to the tranny guy and said you were suppose to make it better. the tranny guy said it was one of his best builds,and my friend came back with"i've got an old typewriter in my basement that shifts better than that thing."

Honda guy at my local 1/8th mile track with a stripped out civic with slicks and one racing seat (very excited) "Dude I'm running in the 10's!!!!" This was the same day my buddy's Coronet wasted the trans so he ran his bone stock, burned valve 86 prelude in footbrake...and went 10.30's

What is that?

Not from a drag stripbut you didn't specify! Saw this in print
"I was doing fine in that last turn till I ran out of talent"

Was in the staging lanes in the final rounds when they paired up the final cars to run. The track staging guy came over to me and say's YOU HAVE ARRIVED ! say what? He said the guy that I had to run next was bitching cause he had to run the barracuda with the 4-speed, ya I beat him