a buddy of mine had his hood open,and he races sometimes for $,so he asked a guy with a camera and a mopar shirt on please no pics,the meatbag sucks his teeth and says i dont care its a chevy motor anyway,,we were rolling btw its a b1ba headed 340

Here's one of my fav's
"My dad had a 440 HEMI"
Another was "Why'd you put a Hemi in that thing"
"You run that motor Too Hard"

When traction is good: " the bites harder than a cop on a donut"

From an un-named Hemi Super Stock racer: "If my kids inherit anything, it's just because I was a bad bookkeeper."

Funniest thing said to me: "I'll wait until you wash up to shake hands and congratulate you." I was in the bathroom at Milan Dragway when an announcement was made that I had won my class because a rain delay shortened eliminations. I came out of the stall and the guy I had just beaten was standing there.

"I need a big band-aid" - Quickrunner when he windowed his block at Norwalk a few years ago.

"Never lift on a dragster" - After our buddy broke out by .003 to a dragster that had stalled on the line. Dragster got going and took the win in 20-some seconds.

I overheard someone asking what happened when they lost

Without missing a beat He says Win light burned out in my lane

that's hilarious!

Test and tune nights bring out some of the best. How many of you have had someone come up to you and say they have a 9 sec car (or as fast as your car) till they run it down the track and it might run a 13 something if lucky. then they don't understand why it didn't run faster

My ignition (pick your excuse) just started acting up. Don't understand why it didn't turn a 9?

I was at a club track rental down at 41 a few years ago when I was still driving my Valiant on the street. Car was running real low 15's, I hadn't started spraying it yet.

Guy with a nice looking '70 SS Nova was telling his buddies all about the "LT-1" he had in the car and how fast it was. He sees my Valiant and asks me if I want to run him heads-up. I say "Sure!".

We line up and I put a car on him in low gear and freight train him at the big end, 15:10 to his 15:70.

He comes up to me in the pits and tells me I have a really good running 318. He really got his feelings hurt when I popped the hood and showed him it was a Slant 6.

To make matters worse, he got in his car to leave and the starter wouldn't kick in.

He never came back to a club meeting or track rental after that.

Yeah, gotta love that. I went to an annual mopar drag race in Salt Lake City with my old beater 77 dodge w150 with a 4spd and a 360. Truck had a 2" lift and 31" tires. Not a ball of fire by any means. I guess because I was in a truck, that meant I was a magnet for the other truck guys. Kid walks up and starts up a conversation. I mentioned how my truck had run a 16.5 before and he told me his had run 16 flat. Long story short, the person arranging the first set of races lined us up together (wasn't too many trucks) and he promptly ran an 18+.
Later asked if he should be launching (??) in 4wd. I kinda felt bad for him. Asked if it was spinning off the line (it wasn't), told him not to worry about it, it'd just eat up hp.
Now I feel bad that the fastest time slip I've ever received was a 16.4.

The best questions(that make me feel insecure)
1-where did you get the Bob George Racing shirt/hat?
2-Do you know Bob George?
3-Is Bob here at the track today?
The best lines that make me wander.
1-Hey I know Bob George.
2-Yeah,I helped Bob build engines/cars,drove for him,or was his crewchief.
The worst statement.
1-My mom knew you back in the 60s and said if I ever run into you say,Hi Dad

Was at a National Event @ Firebird, and some drunk with his kid stumbles up to my Barracuda, and says " Now Son..... This is a Chevelle" ... I told him to go sleep it off..

Then he goes right across the way to Michael Ogburn's West Coast Hemi Barracuda.. and said.."Son.. Here is an Olds Cutlass"..
If you know Ogburn, you know his response wasn't nice at all..


Chris..

possiably the best i heard
i was in 3 round elem , the guy i pulled to race
comes over says,,' youre car really is fast, that last car you beat,
that was my buddy, he showed me the time slip,and you ran a 14.28 at 115 plus mph,, ,man no way i can beat you my car only runs
15.80 at 89 mph,:
we line up , he red lites ,
i went thru at 14.28 at 93 mph,,
he comes over says,' well i knew i had to cut a lite on ya now way i could out run ya,, what did you do to run so slow on mph???'
told him i was saveing my mph for the next guy!!!

I've heard all the Ricardo Montalban jokes - and they are all bad!

A few years back I was at Humboldt county dragway in north central Iowa. A mom and pop track where they anything run, all you need is a helmet and 21 lug nuts, [20 on the wheels and 1 behind the wheel]. In the first round I draw a rust bucket chevy and have to spot him 2.5 seconds. He leaves and I notice something shiny come out from under his car and bounce into my lane. I decide I'm not going anywhere and shut the car off and get out. The starter come over and asks me what my promblem is and I point to the track. We both go and look and its a spoon. It had fell out of the rusted out floor boards. I assume I had won because old rust bucket would be disqualified. Oh no, Not at Humboldt. I was told there would be a rerun. I said not untill you reinspect old rust bucket. We ran later and I won. I went on to win that night and won 500 bucks. MY first final round win. When they give me the cash they also give me the spoon. The owner of old rust bucket come over and say's "maybe I should clean out the car before running so stuff fall out on the track. Last week a pop fell out in the burnout box" Ha Ha Ha. Any way not bash Humboltd, its a good place to go if you want seat time.