If you're blowing up switches there's something wrong. The only way the switch will blow is if it's grounded or you have opposite hot legs on each switch. Something is either grounded at the light or one of the switches. The switch you thought was good might be bad and grounded.

Ok, you so far have spent $60.00 and add on another $30.00 for another one, that's $90.00. Hire a qualified and licensed electrician for one hour at (in my area $50.00 an hour) and get it done. Geeeezz

When identifying which wires are which in a 3way circuit, the number of possibilities in how the wires are run is not relevant. All you need is the three wires on each switch. No matter what the setup is, there will always be two wires that run between and are connected to both two switches, one switch will have the line connected, and the other will have the load connected.

White is not "common", white is always "neutral". "Ground" is "common" - well of course it is - its the only wire that connects EVERYTHING.

The reason you keep blowing circuits is as follows. Green, bare copper, or aluminum on the device are the only places the ground goes period. Groups of whites never go on to any switches in this scenario. They are know as neutrals which return to the panel-board to complete the circuit 60 times a second. The odd or different color screw is for the Hot (Power) or the Switch leg which goes up to the light fixture. The other 2 single wires that are red, black, or white (which should be taped as black by code are the travelers or dummies). It does not matter whatsoever which remaining terminals the travelers get connected to. Hope this helps all of you. It's a simple 3 way meaning three terminals on the switch and the capability of controlling a fixture from 2 locations. If the light is controlled at 3 or more locations then a 4-way switch comes into the equation. Please consult a professional licensed and experienced electrician if you are unsure of what you are doing. Invest in a voltage tester as well. Happy to Year!

Did you pull the other dimmer switch yet to see how it was wired?
At this point I'd call an electrician. Ask for an estimate up front to avoid the ones that might try to rip out off because it shouldn't be an expensive call.