Pulled a valve cover today to check the valve lash and found milky stuff inside the valve cover and on the rockers. Car has no PCV, just breather hoses that go to a remote breather/accumulator. It hasn't been driven in about a month. Oil on dipstick looks totally fine.

I'm assuming this is just condensation. Thoughts?

Yes, that's what it is. One cause is starting your engine and shutting it down before its warmed up usually takes a few times of doing this. Also storing your car in an area with high humidity with major temperature swings. Storing a car in a garage that sweats is not good.

My girlfriend's Durango Looks the same way at the oil file location when I change her oil. You can also see clear condensation in droplet form. I really think it is just the oil and water vapor mixing and creating the mayo looking sludge.

You need to take cars like this out for a nice long drive to warm up the oil to burn off the condensation that is collecting in the oil.. Short trips that do not heat the OIL and allow it to burn off the water that collects in it from sitting create this.....

Same problem on my 2000 Dakota, dealer changed out the oil filler cap and hasnt been a problem since. I believe it was a recall fix.