Our plan for our retirement accounts and investments is to have it go to the spouse first and trust second. If one of us dies, then the other will be set. If both of us die at the same time, or one lives a bit longer, the kids will be set and they get what they get per our attached list. We brought up some of this to my son (my son, not biologically hers) and he said Jamie (our daughter together) would have to buy him out of the house to live there. Not sure if he just wants the money or was joking. But with that, we decided Jamie gets 50% of my assets and 100% of the wife's assets. Ronald (my son) gets 50% of my stuff and none of the wife's. He has a mother and can split her stuff up. We are going to be trustee's first, then a lady we know (not a relative and well off, so she won't be in it for the money), and then probably our daughter (she's only 16 now, so she should be 18 before anything happens for sure). We don't want my son to screw over our daughter. He is a good kid, but don't trust him to do the right thing and live by our wishes, so a trust is the way to go vs a will. We have a financial advisor as well and he recommended the lawyer we are using. He may or may not get a copy of the trust to make sure we are doing things right as far as investments. We will also buy a lock box for the trust and keep it in there with the keys in a safe deposit box so the kids can't snoop. We will show them the trust minus the part of who gets what. We have bank accounts set up at a credit union that are for the kids and those will be protected with asset protection. That money is for an extreme emergency if need be, but primary reason for them is for the kids to use for what they need after a certain age. Don't want to see them blow through it for a stupid reason.
I am a fan of having both a revocable and irrevocable trusts. How they are used needs to be tailored to your situation. We've had really good luck with both mine and Linda's parents doing what jcc suggested above plus having joint accounts between the parents and intended beneficiaries. Of course this only work well when everyone is trustworthy.
We've never bothered with the cars and won't going forewad.. Are you worried about what actually happens to the car (future owner), or that the car's value/worth might not be transferred to the beneficiaries?
Finally, be careful in using a safe deposit box. Do your research in your state. There is a good chance that there will be serious challenges in accessing it irrespective of POAs, wills and trusts.
