Great news. Although I still need a little help to make sure I am remembering correctly:

Got underneath the car and low and behold...one of the rearmost oil pan bolts was missing!
If I recall correctly, when I put the pan on, that bolt hole leads to the INTERIOR of the block, correct? It passes straight thru the main seal cap.
If so, that's like a great big hole at the rear of the pan! I'm surprised more oil didn't come pouring out. (meanwhile, I will be googling images of that cap on the block)

I also pulled off the cover and the flywheel, converter are as dry as a bone. BUT there was a TON of oil sitting in the bottom of the bellhousing. And the INSIDE of the cover seemed a lot more soaked in oil than the outside, which is strange if the leak is coming from the outside (oil pan.)