sounds like you should take a long test drive in whatever you're considering.
We have an '08 Durango, 5.7 4x4, bought it new and it's been almost trouble-free.
The second row seats don't give the adult passengers much room for their feet,so if a larger person must ride there, make sure they're comfortable.I spent an hour in the second row of a Commander a few years ago in the middle seat and hated it! Felt like the seat covers were stretched over boards. If you only ever sit up front I think you'll be happy with the Durango.
And the Durango wheelbase is about the same as a Grand Caravan, so parking is no problem.
Gas mileage in town can be as low as 14, but usually around 16. Highway with a light foot you can get over 20mpg.