So, yesterday afternoon we were stupid busy at work and one of the techs in the other building was whining about needing his tires. Knowing that telling him to come get them would start a drawn out piss-n-moan session I stopped what I was doing to take the tires over there.
I loaded up the tires on a two wheel tire dolly and set off through the warehouse. That back area is a bit of a disaster and is frustrating to navigate at times. This was one of those times. After clearing the gauntlet I backed out the man door dragging the dolly. Naturally, the door closer was doing its best to thwart me and knock the 4 tires to the ground. I managed to clear the door when it happened.

Someone had parked a used FWD transaxle blocking the door.

Being in a hurry, going backwards, and fighting with the door, I didn't look behind me. I tripped over the pallet, fought a losing battle for control, and fell backwards. The Fates made sure I landed in a sitting position directly on the transmission. Those things have nice tall pointy bits sticking up. One of them knifed through my pants just below my wallet. It also sliced through my skivvies. My skin wasn't resilient enough to resist it so I got speared in the cheek.
The Gods determined that wasn't enough so momentum carried me to the right and slid off the transmission. Remember that puncture I had? Well, it continued, too. I have now been sliced across both cheeks in an amazingly straight line right across the "donut".

The gouge wasn't deep enough to perforated anything really important and I should be okay as long as I'm careful and bathe myself after visiting the little room.

As for the techs? That brutal bunch of freaks is getting lots of mileage out of this.
You took it in the rear from a tranny!
It's the man with two a holes!
Anything is a (sex toy) if you're brave enough.

And on and on.

An accident. Surrrrrre it was.

Could have been worse. Could have found the dipstick..........

Sounds like someone needs a title change......

Always the drama posts.... you fell and cut your butt, right? Really at the end of the day, you were not paying attention and fell while at work, did they drug test?

Hey, Taterhead, mellow out.
It's just self-deprecating humor.

Sounds like a Forrest Gump moment, you need to go show our current President...

Anyone want to take bets which one the mods will pick for his new title?

Thanks for the second laugh from this post!

I disagree, definitely sounds like a Senior Management move to me
Hope it heals quickly

In my eyes you might as well laugh cause it sure beats crying.

This is one of those minor injuries that is amusing when it happens to someone else but sucks when it happens to you.

However, if you feel the need to inspect the injury I'll let you get an eye full.

Hi Feets , I have more tears coming down my face from LAUGHTER , then the pouring rain for MUSCLEPALOOZA MOPAR 3 DAY SHOW . , I'm so glad you are NOT hurt . Thank you for sharing that funny , but could have been deadly , story . Have a Safe Memorial Day MOPARTS . Ronnie Austin Texas .

Just recalling the Korean story, no harm meant.

Your what could go wrong was better but not as good as your copper art. Oh and the dash cam wreck footage...meh.

I myself dont think its funny when others get hurt, thinking of more injuries of my past then I like to and just counted the six scars on my hands.

Sorry you got hurt, even though you made it sound like a cartoon plot! Serious business though...if you did in fact get a cut/tear on "The donut", be very diligent about the hygiene until it heals. I can promise you, that you DO NOT want to get Proctitis!! I got it in my early 20's when a hemi roid busted and got infected. It hurt so bad I couldn't fart without screaming. Out of work for 3 weeks, and lost 30 lbs. because I was afraid to eat. I figured if nothing was going in......nothing would come out! Proctitis easily rivals a kidney stone for pain, and I don't want no more of either one! Hope you heal up soon.

Hey man...from now on they come get their own tires (period). Your temporary pain will pay off for a lifetime...if you play your cards right.

"I should be okay as long as I'm careful and bathe myself after visiting the little room."

Take care to have no Herculiner on your hands when you visit that room...

Herculiner Off My Hootus

And in other news, there's a Ford Explorer forum.

That's a good one. Episodes like this are how nicknames are born.

Glad you are OK. You are going to hear about this one from the guys for a while. Or should I say "take it in the shorts"

I feel your pain... two words: Fissurectomy and Sphincterotomy. Yes, it's as bad as it sounds
It took seven weeks to heal, not surprisingly since I had to poop every day - plus the stool recontaminated the wound each time. Worth it in the end (pun intended)

Infection is still quite rare for anal injuries and surgeries - that area is surprisingly resistant. But if it does happen, as you noted it hurts. A lot.
Glad you got better.

OP, the only good thing about this injury is the stories you will be able to gross out everyone with for years to come

ummmm....... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!