I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a few years now. After some severe, abusive actions I realized the "friends" I surrounded my self were a major part of my problems. So, last weekend I told them to get lost.

This week has been great! I feel awesome. It's like a tremendous weight has been lifted. I never realized how toxic these "friends" had become. I think it progressed over the years slowly and I just never noticed.

it happens. Probably why I'm not a friends type of guy. I have lots of acquaintance but only a couple friends.

Spouses can be the same way.

I've probably lost more friends than I've made. I'm just that much of a polarizing kinda guy.

Sometimes, you just gotta cut people loose. The last "friend" that I told to pound sand was the kinda guy who LOVED having you over to work on his stuff and help him with his projects. But when the odd time came that *I* needed a hand, oh my goodness... it was like I asked him to loan me his wife, a tub of lube and three condoms. In the 5-6 years I hung out with this guy, he'd maybe been to my place three times, and usually only for 20 minutes.

Many times he'd make plans, so I'd clear my schedule and then he'd bail the morning we were supposed to go do something.

I was near the end of my rope when he started hitting me up for money for coffee and cigarettes. He made double what I did. He used to brag about how much money he made, and now he's hitting me up for money?

The final straw was he bought a car off me. This was a childhood car that my mom had bought new and I was having money troubles, so he figured he'd help me out and fix it up. Because he was my friend I gave him the option to "borrow" a few very valuable parts for the car, under the auspices that should he ever sell the car, I want these parts back. He agreed. (the items were nothing too special: an A-body AM/FM, Motorola under dash 8-track deck and a mint set of wire wheel covers.

Well, fast forward to the point where he comes to the stark realization of what auto restoration costs and he outright gives up on the project. So, I visit him on a Sunday, we talk a bit and I ask if I can buy the car back. He says sure, $500. I told him payday was thursday and I'd see him then with a trailer. So, I round up a friend to go collect, we pull up and my Valiant is nowhere in sight.

Where'd it go? M-F'er SOLD IT on Tuesday to some well known (in our area) mopar scrappers. Not too angered at this point I ask for my radio, tape player and wheel covers back. "Oh, they went with the car. They're gonna fix it up!" An outright lie straight to my face because the ownership papers that I'd signed over to him were still hanging on his wall. If he wasn't former army, I'd have slugged the S.O.B.
Sure 'nuff, I checked Facebook marketplace the next day, and half my parts were for sale. I did get my wheel covers back (they were going to throw them out) but they'd already sold my radio and thrown out the tape deck.

I haven't spoken to that douche since 2016. He was supposed to be my friend. But the way I see it, he not only lied to me but as far as I'm concerned, stole from me as well.

If that's what your friends were like Duffman, you don't need them in your life!

It's expected of "friends" but is way more shocking when family is the problem.

About 10 years ago, I broke contact with a guy that I've known since 1981.
We met in High School and worked at Burger King at the same time. WE had that kind of friendship that ebbed and flowed over the years. Sometimes we'd hang out, other times a month or more would go by without contact. As we both grew older, I got more content with my life while he grew more bitter. He was socially awkward...Rarely dating and as of 2011, had not married, nor had ever been really serious with a woman.
He always had a bad temper and was somewhat racist but after the 2008 recession he started getting worse. He used to start conversations out in a calm tone but would then merge off into tirades against Mexicans, Blacks and Asians as if they all conspired to make his life hell. WE both worked in Construction and here in California, there are a lot of Hispanic workers. He would walk up on a job looking for work and get pissed off when he saw Latinos on the job. He'd call me and complain about it as if I had some magic wand to cure all of his problems.
One day in 2011, as he was ranting about Mexicans, I interrupted him and politely said...."Hey, I understand the frustration but what can I do about it? Do me a favor...Call me whenever you want but lets talk about something else from now on."
He never called again and I haven't even seen him since.
He did me the favor....I'm happier for it, too.

I suspect the biggest issue with "friends", is having unobtainable expectations. That would not be their fault, they are who they are, Best not to have them in the first place, then anguish over getting rid of them later.
If you can't speak honestly and be direct with them, they ain't worth the effort in the first place IMO.
Kinda like I operate on Moparts.

Well one friend, of 30 years, decided about a month ago to let go and brutally criticize almost every aspect of my life. That friendship ended there. Another mutual friend, of 20 years, said he'd stay out of it, but seemed to withdraw from me.

Recently, another friend, of about 10 years, in the same circle decided to demonize me over a minor incident. The same mutual friend that said he'd stay out of the other mix sided with this friend. So I ditched them all, and I'm happier for it.

My happiness is worth more than friendships with toxic people.

I came to realize that when I was going through a tough time they were taking advantage of it by demeaning me in order to feel better about themselves.

I came to this realization with my ex when things went sideways with my Mom's health.

While it didn't happen immediately after the divorce, I have cut off any and all connection with her or her family.

I could say more, but DocFiberglass is gonna have something idiotic to say as usual because I posted.

Ahhhhh SAdDy 7 .... do you need a tissue ?

Most of them are dead.

FRIENDS...... if you have one or two REAL FRIENDS...consider yourself very lucky

i think we all have been in that situation at some time or another. my used to be best friend was using me as an excuse to come to my shop and work on race cars. we were building them at the time. i was working an evening job til 8pm. i would come home, lights on in garage, radio playing, tools out. one day i get a call from his wife wanting to know where he is. i guess over at the junk yard getting some more parts for the dart. no he is not. he is at dave's house. turns out he was hosing dave's wife all along and had filed for divorce, unknown to me. don't have anything to do with him after that. a guy told me how to pick your friends and i have always had that in the back of my mind. he said "pick your friends wisely. a friend is someone that will come over and help you move, no questions asked. a real friend is someone that will come over and help you move a dead body, no questions asked." hahahaha.

Yup.

"a real friend is someone that will come over and help you move a dead body, no questions asked."

i have one friend like that !

Yes and never looked back. People change sometimes better sometimes worse. Plus a sane man in an insane situation will appear to be the one who's insane.

Sounds like a smart move on your part.

I try to ditch them before they become friends.