You could not be more correct

I have been bent over the fender more than once over the years but the last 2 really took full advantage and I do not think the scars will ever heal. One was a very close family member. TOXIC is an understatement. There is also a 3rd but after the previous 2 I had gotten a bit smarter, but I am even more so now. The 3rd was nowhere near as bad, but toxic nonetheless. Amazing it took 67 years to learn the lessons they taught me.
So my advice to you sir, is enjoy your newfound happiness, I am just beginning to realize what my tolerance thinking I was helping them, cost myself and my wife. NO MORE

How about you go join the manatees in the pool.......pretty sure they don't have internet.

Who is that directed at?

The thin skinned attention wh*re, obviously.

SuperDOLT .... as long as we are STRINGING RANDOM words together ....

Moonpie sunrise ocean snow drifts

SAdDy Sack ... so much for you putting me on ignore !

U putz !

Sez Fort Worthless hundred ... listen DOLT ... I offered to stop this before

BUTTTT these TODDLERS continue....

I will not HERE anymore... just on the other one

First, sorry about your anxiety and depression and hope you find ways to get better. Dumping bad relationships can only help!

When I am having doubts about a friendship (especially long-term ones), I ask myself "If I didn't know that person and just met them today, do I think we'd become friends?" If the answer is no, they are gone. Only had to do that 4-5 times. Never regretted it.

Actually I kind of see it the other way around.

We can't choose our family--sometimes people are "stuck" with folks they don't really get along with because they are blood or in-laws.

But we can freely choose our friends--it always surprises me when some people choose to surround themselves with people who are not good for them....

I guess I'm nobody's real friend then as I always ask for payment upfront first.

Shocking is not the word , emotionally painful and scarring is more appropriate IMO. And yes you can choose to write them off, I have with two close blood relatives. Sad but what they did, there's no undoing.

This is so relevant. What they are shaming me for is absolutely insane. If they'd sit back an look at it objectively they'd realize there is absolutely no way I could have caused it. What it comes down is who they value most and I wasn't valued as much as another person.

It doesn't really matter. We've grown apart over the years anyway. These ex-friends have no other hobbies than drinking beer and their life revolves around it. Not surprisingly their rallying around a friend that owns a local brewery, who is actually responsible for the situation because he allowed it to escilate.

Since I ditched them I've stopped drinking during the week and on weekends I have greatly reduced my consumption. Not only do I feel better I've lost a lot of weight. The funny thing is they're the ones telling me I need help. LOL One even told me Sunday not to come back until I can show him I have gotten help. This after I told him I didn't want anything to do with that circle.

One of the reasons I've been happy this past month is that I'm back working in the garage, and in doing so my depression and anxiety have almost completely disappeared. This past weekend I even got to go to a swap meet with my son. Just him and I. It was awesome. Something I wouldn't have done when I was depressed.

None of it's been easy because this has been my primary circle of friends for years. Surprisingly, some friends I haven't had much contact with have stepped up to support me.

They were not your friends but rather using you to approve their choices and lifestyle. If he does it alongside me then it's OK right ???
The friends that have recently reappeared may have distanced themselves because of your drinking and associating with the "losers". Positive people stay away from negative ones as they are toxic.

Positive people stay away from negative ones as they are toxic. twocents


so VERY true !

The didn't really distant themselves, I just was spending so much time with the "losers" that I hadn't kept in touch. When I reached out the stepped up.

The problem with these "losers" is they're very arrogant, maybe even borderline narcissistic. Even after I told them to pound sand one of them had the audacity to demand that I show him I got help before he'd be my friend again. LOL I'm starting to believe this is more about controlling me than being mad about what I supposedly did.

I think this nails it...

Your relationship with these "friends" fulfilled some role they wanted you to play.. And now that you're not playing your "role" anymore, the first childish reaction they have is going to be anger that you messed up their expectations..

Best wishes and Well done you!
- Art

The role I was playing was the whipping boy. Some things in my life weren't going very well and they focused on my problems instead of their own. When I got a new job, and things were starting to fall inline for me, I wasn't beneath them anymore, so the had to focus on a minor situation and escalate it into a larger problem to give them a reason to knock me back down again. It didn't work, I walked away.

My ladyfriend noticed the other day that anyone I call "friend" has been in my life for decades. I'm at the unhappy point where I am outliving a lot of them.

Congrats on dropping some toxic friends!

I had a very close friend in college that started getting into real estate and buying houses (early 2000s), he was making a lot of money, flying to vegas to party with his new real estate buddies, buying $5,000 barbeques, etc. I didn't trust his new friends and we kind of grew apart. Never had a falling out, just different paths in life...then the bubble bursts around 2008. He loses everything, his houses, rentals, even his job after he had a seizure from the stress. I called him up one day to catch up and he told me his story...his 'buddies' left him hanging and even tried to sue him, he had to declare bankruptcy and move into an apartment. He was humbled but he was an honest good dude and thats part of why he lost everything and his shady buddies didn't. We reconnected and he had a similar realization...i am not the cool friend with lots of money and extravagant lifestyle, but I'm really your friend. We (and another mutual college buddy) build a huge deck at his place, with a cool porch roof and suspended outdoor lighting. He bought each of us a surprise case of fancy wines and a few bottles of our favorite bourbon (Wellers!) as a thank you...I feel fortunate to have had some really great friends through the years.

My mopar buddy Larry that helped me build my Roadrunner 'sold' me more parts than I can recall for pennies on the dollar...he is one of the good guys in the hobby.

Good for you nutz...

Where was THAT TYPE of a Larry when you need him ?

Pennies on the dollar ?

The I’m familiar with is a TWO DOLLAR on a dollar guy