thanks for all of your help everyone. i think i have fixed it. I changed the starter and that wasnt it, i put on a heat shield and that wasnt it. so i decided to do the easiest thing since the hard stuff didnt work.
I cleaned the ground strap that goes from the battery to the frame. turns out it was a little loose and dirty. i took it for a ride and let it get warmed up and then shut it off and tried to start it. it started right up! hopefully that was all it needed.
so now i have a spare starter out of the deal and a roll of header wrap i didnt try yet. but i learned something so i guess thats what counts.