Today was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I lost it so many times during the service. It's just so damn unfair. I don't understand it and I am angry and sad and baffled all at the same time. When Gary's wife came and laid her head on the casket....it just hurt so bad. I feel so badly for her. And then when they loaded Gary into the hearse I was only about 5 feet away and I totally lost it again. I have never cried so much at a funeral in my whole life.

I apologize for not talking to anyone, particulalrly Onebad and Tony who were literally parked right next to me. Sorry guys I couldn't deal with it. Thanks for being there.

I can't type anymore. It hurts too bad.