Here's one for you. Tile guy comes to my house the other day to give me an estimate on some tile work. Very professional, seems intelligent and knows this stuff it sounds like. But then we entered the Twilight Zone. He sees my Dart project in the garage and we're off...


Him - Is that the Canadian Nova? (I swear!)

*In his defense, the roof and all windows were covered by the car cover*

Me - Nope. That's a 69 Dart.

Him - Cool! My Dad bought a new one in 70 with a Hemi.

Me - What?? A Dart?? I thought the Hemi Dart was a 68 only deal.

Him - They were supposed to be, but my Dad knew a VP at Dodge and they built one for him and his friend.

Me - (How do you respond to that?) I just said, keeping a straight face: Wow that's a very rare car and has to be worth major bucks.

Him - Yep. Dad wrecked his and we junked it and his friend sold his to a guy in Japan around 1980. Sold for right at a quarter mil. My Dad was not very happy knowing that he should have salvaged his.

Him - I used to do the speed thing, too only in a boat.

Me - Oh yea, a drag boat? (WHY would I ask that...really???)

Him - Yessir. A real nice, custom Pickle Fork. Built a small block Chevy for it though. I wanted to build a Hemi, but they're just too damn heavy.

Me - (Wanting out of this conversation without being rude) Yea, those small block Chevies are hard to beat for cost.

Him - Chuckles and says, Cost?? I have over $25K in that motor! I still have it even though I don't have the boat any more.

Me - Wow! That's one high $$ Chevvvvy.

Him - It was worth every penny. Made over 700 HP.

*Now I'm thinking maybe I underestimated the guy and he's just Mopar limited. Turns out no, he's just limited period.*

Me - How big is that small block?

Him - Wait for it....wait for it...
It's a 327 out of a Corvette.

Me - (Stunned) Wow...what heads and cam? (oh please make him go away)

Him - It's got trimmed (what the heck is that?), shaved and ported Fuelie heads and a...wait for it again...full roller 3/4 race cam. Oh and special titanium valves and pistons.

*I swear he's saying this all with a straight face*

Then he goes on to say, the boat was a record holder at over 160 MPH. But then he retired, pulled the motor and cut up the boat...

Me - Why did you cut up a perfectly good boat hull?

Him - It was a special one off Sanger hull and it was in my contract with Sanger that I destroy it when I was done so the other boat builders couldn't get ahold of it.

Final note - When my wife passed through the garage she obviously heard some of this and knowing better herself threw me a life line. Came back out, handed me my phone and said it just rang didn't know if you need to answer it. As I'm looking at the call log and noting NO calls in the last hour, it rings! It's my home number calling me and the wife saying, "Tell your new friend you have to go now" all the while, she's cracking up. I managed to say "Hold on just a second" and tell the guy to email us the estimate, I have to take this call. Thanks, Honey!!

Oh, and I think we'll be getting other estimates and NOT have the garage door open.

Damn, I actually want to slap guys like this and send em packin...........seriously. Can`t beat this by any means and guys have told me some similar stuff that made me question how stupid I must look or how stupid THEY really are.............

Wow!! If I went on a fishing trip and told THAT story, I'd NEVER catch a thing (even the FISH would NOT believe it!) and/or I would be TOSSED overboard like CHUM!!

HAHAHAHA, unfortunately I have encountered several guys like that. I'm pretty sure that they are so oblivious to how stupid they actually are that they expect people to believe their BS...best part is they always argue when you point out a flaw in their story, then even more BS gets tossed on

did you say a 327 with a 3/4 cam? 700hp, huh? lollolol

oh! one other thing, 160how many mph?

oh! wait a minute! I'm not done! I have a brother that had a 64 chev pkp with 283 that would lift the wheels in 2nd gear. lol good thing it didn't have this guys 327

I hope you sent him packing. Any guy that could make up a story like that on the fly, I wouldn't trust him to do anything. Great story though, thanks for the laugh.

FOR SALE; one off "special" Edelbrock heads ported by national record holder and 10 time porting champ...................estimated at $7,000 but will let em go "today only" for $6,500............call 1-800-bul-[Edited by Moparts - Family Friendly Site - Keep it clean]............

Better you than me


Just where in the heck do these people come from Isn't there some sort of insecticide for them

From all the 'reports' I've heard or read about, GM made about 70 zillion corvettes, every small block seems to be one!

I like messing with people.
I had my turbo car at the strip for the 1st time a couple weeks ago. It was runnin but pig rich. It looked like a train going down the track and the announcer made a joke about it being a diesel because of the smoke lol
Well every hick at the track asked what kind of diesel it was. After hearing that a few times I started telling them it was a three cylinder Cummins with twins lmfao. It's sad that a few believed me ha ha ha.

not to hijack but i have a similar story..sort of..
only.. I was the contractor..the guy wanted a large french door install onto his porch and skylights installed in the porch roof.
after showing me the work needing to be done..the subject of cars comes up..he begins to tell me how he had this thunderbird and that thunderbird..
then i tell him i like cars..but it was late and i wanted to leave..so i kept it real short..
He then says..i have this old car in the garage would you be interested in barter for it.?
Im thinking a thunderbird..so i politely pass.
but he is insistant..we step into the garage an he turns on the light....
and this is what i find in the garage.
my first thought as it comes into view is..im looking for the shine off the chrome on the rear door handles...
best part...there was no rear door handles..

So you obviously bartered right?

I had a guy show up doing estimate for a new fence, and he notices a 440 on a stand in the garage. He asks about it, I tell him it's just a 440 out of a big Chrysler, and he smirks and starts telling me this story about a 283 he had that would beat any Mopar. I chuckled a bit and he went on about how it made more hp than big blocks because it could spin higher rpm.

I wanted to end the conversation so I just asked him about the fence and started to close the garage door.

This guy was probably pushing 60 so, when he first asked about it I thought I might hear some cool stories, but no...got the same ignorant BS. Guess it's true - young dipshits just become old dipshits.

again not to hijack but I too have a funny story about old chevy boys talking thru their buttcrack.
when I had finally got my 71 'cuda restified & on the road I put it in a Super Chevy Show, the only Mopar there & I put it at the end of a line of 60's Crumaros. these 2 old fossils were talking as they checked each car out til they got to my 'cuda. "that's one of them 1970 'Cameros' they built before GM went on strike", sez the older looking fossil, "that's a rare piece of machinery, they made bugga all of them before the strike & when the strike was over they moved onto the 1970 1/2 model". he ranted onto his mate for ages about it, ignoring the personalised # plate reading 71CUDA. maybe if I had cataracts I might see the evolution of a 69 Crumaro to an E body but this old boy was on a roll, probably made his day too lol.

I think that guy is doing roofing estimates in Colorado. Last week some 70 year old guy comes around for some roofing company while I'm loading the truck with parts and tools to go work on my '69 Coronet that is at my friends shop. He sees I'm wearing a Mopar T-Shirt and tells me how he used to own a 69 Hemi Coronet, and race it on hydrazine.

This stuff is too funny. More than a couple of guys at work when finding out I race came up with some good ones.
"my sons 750 Honda runs 10s (me) in the 1/8th? No, full 1/4 mile
"my 65 Barracuda 273 ran high tens" ya, right!
The best ever heard in 50 years;
"Every day I would meet this bus on this highway, and the guy swerved towards me. After doing this twice, I did the same thing. My truck sheared the bolts off the side of the bus, the side fall off and you could see the people"
Even a 14 year old kid (me!) new that was a load of B S!

LMAO! Canadian Nova.

It used to be fun to play with people like that but after a while it gets old.

Talked to a guy in the staging lanes once with a very nice looking supercharged Mustang.

Me: Nice blower.
Him: What??
Me: Nice blower (now I'm pointing at it)
Him: Oh, that's not a blower, its a supercharger (with a straight face).

I start to laugh, but notice he is serious...so I compose myself, and against my better judgement ask him one more question since I'm just killing time in the lanes.

Me: What size cam you have in that thing, it sounds healthy (I'm just trying to make friendly conversation).
Him: Its a "race cam" with 360 degrees duration.
Me: Wow...(trying not to laugh)...so, how does that work? Do the valves just stay open?
Him: ITS A RACE CAM! Its BIG (with a smile on his face)...my engine builder built it (looking proud as can be).
Me: Wow, isn't that something.

Pretty much everything else I said from that point on was "Wow, isn't that something".

Its AMAZING how many cars "special order" hemi's came in !!!

So what is a "3/4 race cam" anyway ??? This is a term that seems to pop up every now and then.

...believe it or not...there's several owners of the rare 318 and 360 "hemi" on this side of the world.

..and these are guys who claim to be big into Mopars......but they're usually selling them to buy a Fraud...

The stories are endless. Had a guy tell me his uncle had a '69 Charger with a push-button console automatic.
Then there was the 340 'Cuda that would jump two pop bottles when he popped the clutch. Or the 383 in a Super Bee built by Jegs that was, and I quote "The only car I ever owned that would go through all 4 gears and never move an inch". Or the 360's with 383 heads. On and on it goes.

Oh yeah, Remember the "440" HEMI.

many of us older gents had run ins with those bench racers with disconnected brains,back in the 70s,we had a neighbor like that who swore his mercury capri could pull the wheels. so after a night of binge drinking, he passed out,and myself and a friend removed the shifter from his wheelstander and made one from steel stock that was 2 inches from the headliner.then WELDED it in.revenge is priceless......

Ahh... This sounds like to much fun, Any of you guys thought about just flipping the conversation, join the group, and be "That Guy" also? Could be fun!

Hey man, what combo you got in your Charger.

Oh, It's an old Sox and martini motor out of a NASCAR
.120 over 440 HEMI
360 duration 3/4 race roller overhead dual cam
Heads came off an older locomotive that Chrysler built for the military
Bottom end is a "Water block" cylinder walls are thinned to sweat water, lets me run more boost.
Turbo is off of an old P-38 WWII Airplane (Same exact plane my father flew, he brought it home with him after the war)
I had the oil pan louvered to save weight

So far nobody has been able to make a full throttle pass. It just spins the entire 1/4 mile. My best time so far is an 18.2 @190mph

I have a set of valves out of a water pump they used in the hoover dam. I plan to drop those in, and see what she will do.

we "painted the intake and exhaust valves with lacquer paint to get more flow"

or we ran it on "Jet fuel" but it ran so hot it melted the headers.. (sure you ran it on really clean diesel fuel)

i had a substitute teacher in high school who tried to tell me ..he ran Oxygen injection ...long before people ran nitrous....i said how did you not burn the motor up like a blow torch ? he said they set the carbs up rich..

i have a local tire shop...independent owner operator place...Nice hard working salt of the earth people..
the stories i get from the kids that work in the bays mounting tires...are legendary...lolo

one kid had a v6 s-10 pick up he said ran 150mph on the highway...he was gonna put exlipse turbos on it and go 200mph....maybe 250mph...


or how his dad invented a carburetor from a steam valve that made his 454 elcamino run 60 miles per gallon...but that the government sued him and took away his patent..so the oil companies wouldnt go out of business...

probably the worst one i can remember was a guy who decided to express his manlyness by drinking octane booster straight from the can,even after he was expressly told read the can,its poison!and he did!pappa j would probably remember this.not sure what ever happened to the guy after that.but i am guessing he most likely became a candidate for a kidney transplant.you just cant fix stupid.....