Moparts

"Don't ask me how I know..."

Posted By: BSharp

"Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 06:40 PM

...is my favorite Moparts quote. It usually comes right after something like, "you can use a battery to weld a half-inch box wrench to your inner fender".
Posted By: VT_Dart

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 06:43 PM

Cars can roll over a 4x4 chunk of wood if placed on a hill without an e-brake... which can lead to the car almost rolling down the hillside and into a creek. However, diving through the open window, hitting the brakes, and snapping off a mirror in the process can stop the car. Don't ask me how I know...

Darrah
Posted By: Dakota_Don

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 06:43 PM

ouch, lol i did that, got a good burn from it to i never seen a wrench glow such a pretty shade of red
Posted By: Tom_440

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 06:47 PM

Batteries can explode during jump starting- and throw sulphuric acid all over you and your car...
Posted By: nutso suave

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 06:53 PM

you can fry your car stereo if you are in a huge hurry and accidently put your jumper cables on backwards...don't ask me how i know!
Posted By: Hank

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:01 PM

When changing the oil, you can get motor oil all over your driveway and piss off your girlfriend if you don't check to make sure the cap is screwed on tight on the nifty oil drain pan you bought at the auto supply store. Don't ask me how I know this...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:04 PM

When looking to mount a buss fuse block, you can drill a hole into the heater core and squirt antifreeze in your eye... "Dont ask me how I know"
Posted By: nutso suave

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:07 PM

Quote:

When looking to mount a buss fuse block, you can drill a hole into the heater core and squirt antifreeze in your eye... "Dont ask me how I know"




best yet.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:09 PM

Brake parts cleaner when sprayed directly into a wheel cylinder will make a 180 degree turn, get in your eye and temporarily blind you...
Posted By: Dakota_Don

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:13 PM

transmission fluid makes your hair nice and shiney
Posted By: Tom_440

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:15 PM

Siphoning (drinking) gasoline through a garden hose makes you burp fumes for 2 days.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:16 PM

It's really easy to break off the dipstick tube in a smallblock when trying to re-install the A/C compressor on the front of the engine.

It's really hard to get the small part that's in the block OUT!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:28 PM

When removing a PH8A (Instead of a PH43) oil filter off a small block A body, trying to get it to clear the torsion bar leads to dumping hot oil all over your chest.

Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:29 PM

Dropping a fullsize starter on your own head hurts...
Posted By: AdamR

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:29 PM

when drilling holes for seats you can easily drill threw your fuel line.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:31 PM

Turning a reverse thread lug to the left will NOT help you get your driver side wheels off, no matter how much you jump on the tire iron and cuss.
Posted By: Anonymous

Post deleted by moparts - 07/11/03 07:33 PM

Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:34 PM

Don't open the doors on a $100 unibody parts car you've just finished Sawzalling into a cheap summer convertible. Ever. Especially both at once. Especially if its rusty. Just jump in.
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:37 PM

Given a hot enough spark, brake fluid will ignite..........................

Starter cables are routed a certain way for a reason.................................
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:37 PM

Licking a bananna slug numbs your tongue.

You can feed chickens Twinkies and Mountain Dew.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:40 PM

"It seemed like a good idea at the time"
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:45 PM

Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:49 PM

If you don't put the stainless trim tabs in before putting the windshield in, you have to pull the windshield back out, then put the clips in and put the windshield back. You will probably ruen the gasket and need to buy another.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:50 PM

Petite women won't bend Daytona and Superbird wings.
Posted By: aarlucas

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:53 PM

A diesel fuel fill nossle will fit into to a car that uses regular gasoline. Then they don't run to well!! "Don't ask me how I know!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:55 PM

Dumping antifreeze on a fire doesn't put it out but actually turns it into a raging inferno!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:56 PM

Inner fenders are not a secure place to leave a "710" cap.

Using duct tape to replace the one that your fan kicked onto the freeway ramp works pretty well, until your engine heats up.

Don't ask me how I know this.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 07:59 PM

The wires to ypur ammeter can fuse themselves together, creating years of electrical gremlins.

A small piece of metal and a gob of poster tack stuffed into the steering column harness connector will return your brake lights to operational, but don't try using your hazzard lights afterwards.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:01 PM

Trying to jump a General Lee pedal car is a good way to maim yourself.
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:04 PM

A burping carb can give you a nice clean, but tender and smelly, shave and a haircut
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:05 PM

LOng hair and carbs don't play well with each other
Posted By: last426

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:06 PM

If you don't put a bowling ball into a bowling ball bag before you put it in the trunk it will roll from side to side with every turn and dent you trunk from the inside out (at least that's what I heard).
Posted By: Quikshft

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:07 PM

Don't sandblast sheet metal!
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:08 PM

When locking keys in trunk, It would be easy to go in thru the back seat if it wasn't for the metal plate mandated by NHRA to seperate fuel cell from passenger compartment
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:09 PM

Taking your grilfriend to the local Pick-N-Pull on her birthday will lead to problems in the relationship. Even if it is "Half-Price Weekend and maybe you'll find something for her car, too."
Posted By: earlybee

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:09 PM

allways replace a single line master cylinder with a dual line!
Posted By: 65Dart270

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 08:56 PM

Becoming the shortest path of resistance on your coil wire will make your girlfriend happy, but it will not make you feel so good. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 09:14 PM

A well placed backfire upon startup is a great way to test the restrictiveness of your exhaust system.

If your muffler blows open at the seams, it was way too restrictive, and you have just modified it for WAY less backpressure.
Posted By: motorheadjohn

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 10:01 PM

(1) If you're changing oil on your motorcycle and fail to replace the drain plug, the new synthetic oil is guaranteed to run out on your boot and make a hard-to-clean-up mess.

(2) Always check the operation of your automatic trans kickdown linkage, and verify there is no binding, with the engine off, before taking it on a test drive.

(3) If your gas pedal sticks on the floor due to a bound kickdown linkage, and you're going down a 2-lane road quickly approaching slower traffic, turn the key off. Do not turn it back to where it locks the steering wheel. Also, failure to immediately bump transmission into neutral may result in blown-out mufflers.

Don't ask me how I know.....
Posted By: MTTwister

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 10:08 PM

Brake Fluid makes a great anti-coagulant. External use only recommended.
Posted By: ZIPPY

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 10:34 PM

Hydraulic lock due to about one quart of fuel in each cylinder is not only a reality, but a definite possibility with any carb design regardless of brand. The trick is to have at least a 100gph electric pump, and make sure the float sticks. Voila.

There must be coolant in the system before the gauge will read anything but dead cold. The car appears to never warm up. It must need a thermostat, eh? Uh, nooo...

904 converter snouts rotinely just shear right off with no warning 50 miles from home, yet at the same time they are the greatest transmission in the world and everybody should have one.

3 grenaded 904 transmissions over 5 years in the same car does a great job of rustproofing the trans tunnel, but doesn't stop the frame from rusting out and breaking.
Posted By: dodgepu360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 10:43 PM

if you forget to hook up the field wires on the alternator it won't charge

a 4x4 truck can be driven for weeks without the rear drive shaft

the same truck can also be driven without the power steering hoses and clutch linkage

it is NOT a good idea to pour gas down the carb to keep an engine running

you cant drive a car vary far before it starts going in a circle if it is missing the steering box

locking hub off of a dana44 will fit on a chevy 10bolt front end but they won't lock

bungy cords do not make good battery hold downs, but ratchet straps do
Posted By: 69Dartman

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 11:03 PM

A sure grip, a V8, rain, and a A body will tend to do a abrupt u turn with very little warning.......

Knocking off the extra blade of the fan on your Jeep after it loses one to rebalance it is a bad idea.....

If the tree your trying to winch yourself out with is small
It will move before your Power Wagon will with interesting results.....

Losing the carb return spring at an intesection can really do a good job of killing mosquitoes and tends to attract any nearby sherrifs......

Trying to reinstall your wiper arm with a hammer is a really bad idea.....

Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 11:21 PM

Wipers can be operated manually (Like windows) IF you have a big enough hole where your radio and ashtray used to be.
Posted By: JERICOGTX

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 11:29 PM

If you leave the hood pins out after going through tech, don't worry the hood will stay there. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: jahsh

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 11:46 PM

When you think you have a bad rear main seal and drop the oil pan and replace the seal.. twice, it could still be an easy of a fix as a bad 90% oil adapter seal;)
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/11/03 11:47 PM

Quote:

If you don't put a bowling ball into a bowling ball bag before you put it in the trunk it will roll from side to side with every turn and dent you trunk from the inside out (at least that's what I heard).




buying a set of 3.91s and driving home with them in the trunk can result in dented quarter panel.

pulling the fuel sender out of a 57 ford pick up then using a match for a light to see if you have enough gas to go cruising will result in a blow torch effect inside the cab!

getting a closer look at the green stain on one of the ribs of a "fit all" radiator hose isnt a very good idea, especially if the car is at 210 degrees, your not wearing safty glasses and you have your face 6 inches away from green stain. and never never trist the hose to see if its acually a coolant leak! . that might hurt very badly for several days!

never "feel" your brake rotor for scratches through the holes in your wheel with your finger right after going down a steep hill in stop and go traffic.
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:15 AM

If you "buzz it and dump the clutch" in reverse, the least bad thing that will happen is that your driveshaft will exit the car. Don't ask...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:19 AM

a 5HP go-cart wont turn 90 degrees at full throttle.....


Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:25 AM

In the process of installing headers & giving up for the night,make sure engine has dropped all the way into k-frame before closing hood...
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:31 AM

Or; If you are getting your chainless bicycle towed down a sloping street by another bike, when you start to overtake your towbike, do not tell him "whoa!"...
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:37 AM

If you have small feet, jumping on the spokes of your big brother's bike just to make him mad might not be a good idea...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:44 AM

You just finished changing out the center carb on your 6pk 4spd car and want to check for fuel leaks with no one to help you, soooo... you hook up your ignition bye pass switch, while standing an leaning over the rad, you try and start the car to check for leaks, and its in gear.......... ice works good on knees for 3 days......Don't ask me how I know
Posted By: Chargerfan

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:20 AM

NEVER start a motor up without the oil sending unit in place. Don't ask me how I know!!!!!!
Posted By: MoPar Jamie

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:35 AM

22 year old heater hoses disentigrate from the inside out, thereby breaking open at the outlet on the engine, at the time where you dont have water. Said hoses will also clog up your outlets bigtime.

If you have any loose skin from bending your hand, keep it away from the release handle on your vice-grips. Hurts like H*ll when it gets pinched!

Dont sit on a fender and proceed to take your head out from under the hood unless you're hanging onto the lip of the hood.

When the eye of your Neg Battery cable burns out and fails, its gonna do it at the least conveniant time (liek when you have Ice-cream)

Manual transmissions and hills are good things, especially if your starter or said negative battery cable eye burns out.

Ok, thats just a few!

Posted By: TheBlueBeast

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:48 AM

Watching a Chevy guy look under the hood of your Charger is worth all of the stupid comments when he hits the back of his head on the secondary latch mechanism.
Old rubber spark plug wires will burn to a crisp on your first truck if you have a fuel leak and a spark.
If you do not have a spare tire you will have a flat no matter how good and new the tires are on your vehicle.
Posted By: quickd100

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:59 AM

It is possible but VERY painful to power shift a 4-spd at the strip after having kicked the front rim as hard as you can and breaking your big toe on your left foot.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:59 AM

An injector assembly machine, will finish a cycle, No matter if it errors out and an engineer tells you it will not run again, until you hit the start button

Monday nite, 4 hours in the hospital.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:11 AM

Quote:

You just finished changing out the center carb on your 6pk 4spd car and want to check for fuel leaks with no one to help you, soooo... you hook up your ignition bye pass switch, while standing an leaning over the rad, you try and start the car to check for leaks, and its in gear.......... ice works good on knees for 3 days......Don't ask me how I know




OH and Bud light helps too.....
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:13 AM

The horozonal boring machine will NOT stop by wraping your body around the spindle! No not me. A guy at work a few years ago.

You can not stop a drill press spindle by grabbing the big DRILL in the chuck. Another guy at work about the same time.
Posted By: Michael Ecks

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:14 AM

Quote:


904 converter snouts rotinely just shear right off with no warning 50 miles from home, yet at the same time they are the greatest transmission in the world and everybody should have one.




LMFAO YES! Don't ask me why I agree.

The hollow bolt used to attach right angle adapters on small blocks should not be torqued to 100 ft/lbs. Nor are said hollow bolts easy to find replacements for. Don't ask me how I know.

If you slap stick shifter button has a habit of sticking, it is possible to shift all the way from first to park at 40 mph while racing....

An open case 7 1/4 can actually shoot spider gears out the back cover if you try to make it live behind a built 360 for too long.

When firing up a new engine it is a good idea to look for oil pouring out under the engine at some point after starting it...
Posted By: 70dart360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:18 AM

Mopar Jamie is the crowning king of "Don't ask me how I know..." If it can happen it will to him. I feel for ya Jamie.
Posted By: MOPAULY

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:26 AM

1. Craftsmen chrome sockets should NOT be used in conjunction with a ratchet, a 3 foot breaker bar, and all your body weight to loosen frozen camber bolts....

2. Improperly placed creepers make interesting skate boards (see comment #1)

3. Hosing off battery acid is a good idea until you grab the plastic vacuum line on your Ram's cruise control and attempt to splice it back together, and it snaps back from your fingers and shoots battery acid back into your eye.

4. Replacing A/C hard lines on a '93 V6 Taurus while leaning over the fender sideways trying to get the stupid spring lock clips against the firewall loose while pulling with all your might IS a good way to throw your back out and put you in MAJOR agony the next day....with only a heating pad preventing a trip to the emergency room. Hopefully you won't be tired because you simply will not get any sleep the next night writhing in pain until said heating pad is applied.
Posted By: Neil

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:39 AM

The top part of an AFB carb will not come off even by prying on it with a screwdriver unless the nut on the air cleaner stud is off.

Always check the hood/air cleaner stud clearance after doing an intake swap.

Don't Armour All the tread on your tires when they are off the car just cuz it looks neat. And don't let your brother drive it to the body shop with the same tires, no windows and no plates on hilly backroads in a hurry.

Always make sure the rubber ring is still on the old oil filter when you remove it.



Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:39 AM

A stock oil pump shaft should not be used in conjunction with a HV oil pump for very long...
Welded spider gears in a 7 1/4 will NOT last very long on the street...
It will not only take me a couple of years to finish my car...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 02:47 AM

. . .but, an 833 4-spd trans can go into reverse and 1st at the same time. Then when you let out the clutch your car is fighting with the trans to go in both directions at once.
Posted By: worthywads

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 03:07 AM

If a friend who's had too much to drink asks you to drive his truck and boat home and while going down a long steep hill the boat begins to sway back and forth, it is not the time to try to slow down so that it will stop swaying. The harder you brake the worse it will become until eventually the boat will try to wrap itself around the truck, and then take everyone into the ditch with tumbling involved. Don't ask me how I know, I was only a passenger.
Posted By: dodgepu360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 03:29 AM

if you take the pin out of an open diff on a 8 1/4 rear end don't spin the axle shaft because the spider gears fall out then after you hear the gears hit the ground and you start cussing you knock the drop light over and bulb breaks and you dont have any more bulbs so you have to try to figure how to put the gears back in with no light and it is 10:00 at night then after you get them back in the right way your dad comes out and spins the axle shaft and those damn gears fall out again
Posted By: MrCoronet

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 03:42 AM

After a long day at the track don't change carb jets in the motel parking lot and forget to tighten the fuel line, then catch your car on fire the next day at the track. I heard this is real bad.
Posted By: BBR

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:32 AM

Quote:

a 5HP go-cart wont turn 90 degrees at full throttle.....




Ouch. I second that one.

How about: never jack up a Ford Ranger by the transmission x member... the jack will decide to leave it's position at about 2.5x the speed of sound just in time for the rocker panel to land squarely on the jack head..it makes the rocker panel look like this: ___/\____

DAMHIK (I coined a new internet acronym)

-James



Posted By: 10secGTX

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:43 AM

You can get Battery acid all over you and your new Dewalt cordless when installing a Battery Relocation kit in the trunk with the battery in the box . I ran around Like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy while my Friend poured Baking Soda and hosed me down . Don't Ask Me Why ?
Posted By: dwdart

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:46 AM

1. Craftsmen chrome sockets should NOT be used in conjunction with a ratchet, a 3 foot breaker bar, and all your body weight to loosen frozen camber bolts....

2. Improperly placed creepers make interesting skate boards (see comment #1)


ROTFLMAO

i can see this. don't ask me how i know.
Posted By: Montclaire

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:49 AM

If you buy an old dodge sedan, park it in the back yard, and let your 15 year old nephew drive it in a circle with no tires on the rims, it will eventually carve out a pattern in the lawn so he doesn't have to steer any more.
Posted By: Dakota_Don

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:01 AM

OMG some of them are to funny


also dont lean on an Accel super coil with your hands and your nads are up against the fender of the car ( i had shorts on ) , it can be pain full
Posted By: 440Wedge

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:16 AM

When replacing the rear u-joint on a 8 3/4 rear, leaving out the funny looking bent up wires from the original u-joint caps will result in a 4 inch hole in the floorboard when test driving the car at 50mph...dont ask how i know
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:24 AM

Don't touch the nice exhaust tips that stick out the back of the car while you're breaking in the camshaft at 2500 rpm just to see if they get hot..

Don't attempt to check the electric fan on a friend's camaro while the engine is running...

the entrance of a cooler liquid(water) into a overheated radiator/engine of an DemoDerby vehicle usually administers a scalding shower to the unsuspecting person(s)and emits an loud audible knock from within the bowels of the heated beast...

If your trying to impress your girlfriend,
make sure that your stronger than the 8 3/4 chunk that your trying to install by yourself...

lastly,when installing the toyota 5spd trans in by yourself because it's nothing compared to an 833,make sure you don't fill it up with lube first,get stuck with it on your chest under the car and accidentally kick and thrash the plug that you had on the end of the trans or you may end up with 90 weight underwear and jeans...




Posted By: MoPar Jamie

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:28 AM

Oh ya, Dont jack up your car by the K-member. Floorjacks have a tendancy to slide, therefore falling off and making the top of the radiator curved while the bottom has a nice pinch. Suprisingly, said radiator held water, it only jarred a hose loose.

Dont try to R&R a trans in the gravel. Its not fun, your car has to be extrememly high on stands at 4 corners and use Monster Garage Mantra: "When hands fail, Let feet flail"

Dont use a trans if pan is filled with shavings. Dont assume shavings and black fluid are from lack of service for 29 years. You would be better off using original trans with a weak low/reverse band.

Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 11:46 AM


[quote} never "feel" your brake rotor for scratches through the holes in your wheel with your finger right after going down a steep hill in stop and go traffic.




Wish you told me this before!!

......but always have cat litter availble when changing the oil, the old filter gasket can get stuck and not come off preventing a good seal for the new filter and therefore allowing five quarts of oil to spread across the garage floor.

LMAO Last night and now this morning....priceless stuff!

Posted By: weedlayer

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 12:48 PM

I have heard that you should not use the handy little button on your T/A shifter to actuate the trans brake. I have heard that when you launch you may squeeze your hand a little which will actuate said trans brake thus stopping you quickly. This sudden stopping action may also send you forward in the seat which can cause the shifter to move into the neutral position, which is not good because neutral with the trans brake actuated is now reverse. This causes the wheels to go in the wrong direction at the starting line while your opponent is heading towards the win light. (I heard this mission was accomplished several years ago, not recently when a transmission was exploded)
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:01 PM

The lower drawer of your tool box does NOT make a good jack stand if your car is too close to your box.
Courtesy of a bone headed co-worker 2 days ago!
Posted By: draginmopars

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:33 PM

Checking a cigarette lighter, to see if it works, and doesn;t glow! Don't stick your finger in it!!! leaves a coil imprint on your finger. Ask my co-worker lol
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:39 PM

Never let your dad try to hot wire a tractor while it is on the trailer and aimed at the car you are working on. Bumpers do have purpose but stoping runaway tractors shouldnt be one of them.




Jason
Posted By: cptn60

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:49 PM

Telling your wife she looks real sexy tonight; When she says" you ain't gettin it" put your glasses on and say "Sorry. I thought I was talkin' to yer sister." Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 01:49 PM

"never "feel" your brake rotor for scratches through the holes in your wheel with your finger right after going down a steep hill in stop and go traffic."

OMG, this one hits home with me.. I think the appropriate response is quickly removing your hand, shaking it vigorously, and saying as fast as you can without any spaces between the words "ouchsonofabitch"!!!
Posted By: Quikshft

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:11 PM

Priming an oil pump with a drill motor and hex attachment does generate substantial pressure in the system.
Posted By: Nupe

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:25 PM


A leg bent at a 90 degree angle under a bumper of a '66 Coronet while using a crappy "hair trigger"
jack does not make a fun jackstand and that leg will also let ya know how heavy the car is.

Remember to replace those little plastic spacers at the bottom of a windshield before installing
as I've heard it might crack the glass and cause various other pieces of said car to get broken.

Acrylic primers tend not to like lacquer paints and vice versa. Makes for some nice runs and bubbling...

When spraying a car outside, never trust the weather, even if it looks clear. Fresh paint and a few
raindrops don't tend to mix well.
Posted By: BSharp

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:52 PM

Wow. I guess you just gotta pick the right topic.

PrimerDust318, what the hell is a banana slug? Why would you lick one? After reading your responses to this post, how are you still alive to respond to this post?

moparhead, I think you're right- we're going to be seeing DAMHIK quite often around here. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: efisixpack

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 04:56 PM

Never ask an officer of the law if he/she gets paid extra for wearing their silly hat.

Never try to "pop" a steering wheel off with your two hands after removing the center bolt. This can cause the steering wheel to violently approach your face causing severe pain to your nose.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:00 PM

ROFLMAO

Man I can laugh with you cause I know EXACTLY how that feels. But dont ask me how I know............



Jason
Posted By: Erics5th

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:07 PM

Never use a wire in place of a fuse. Things melt and lights go dim and the alternator discharges. Don't ask...
Posted By: Ramrod39

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:22 PM

Don't ask me how I know but...

...glass patio tables make lousy work benches for differentials.

...when cutting out floor boards, it is possible to slice through perfectly good brake lines underneath.

...a lift off hood with no retaining pins in place can actually completely clear the car and land in the road behind you at about 60 mph.

...hoods do not make graceful landings.

...towing a race car with slicks on a chain in the rain at 50 mph can produce a ballet of two car syncronized 360s.

...most two car syncronized 360s end with the cars slapping together.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:35 PM

Here's yer slug


Starting your car for the first time w/ fuel leak(unknown at the time) car catches fire you are in your car and cant figure out WHY you cant get out of your burning car and then you see that you door is locked. you get out run around in circles lookin for the extinguisher thats 3 feet away from said named vehicle
Posted By: quickd100

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:37 PM

I saw this happen.... Don't play with a rebuilt magneto on a testicle high steel bench.
Posted By: Erics5th

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 05:49 PM

Quote:

Don't ask me how I know but...

...glass patio tables make lousy work benches for differentials.






Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 06:18 PM

Quote:

Here's yer slug


Hey PrimerDuster318.... you LICKED one of those things????

Posted By: super451b

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 06:35 PM

No matter how hard you push the brake pedal on the race car, it wont stop the truck, trailer, and race car from going down over a hill while the car is still on the trailer.
Don't ask me how I know
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 07:03 PM

Quote:

No matter how hard you push the brake pedal on the race car, it wont stop the truck, trailer, and race car from going down over a hill while the car is still on the trailer.
Don't ask me how I know


ROFLOL
That doesn't work in a boat on the water either. And it doesn't even have a pedel and I still push!
Posted By: Bad340fish

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 07:12 PM

Do not install your distrubutor plug it in then turn rotate it into place while the key is on.
The terminals on those little bitty super high power MSD coils will still shock your azz after the car is turned off
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 07:47 PM

Don't ask me how I know but, you should always check that you reinstalled the oil filter before you start your truck and give it a couple good revs to hear what open headers sound like!

Great thread, keep 'em coming!
Posted By: Dartbloke

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/12/03 08:10 PM

When drilling holes in the floor pan to mount a B&M shifter you can use a long self tapper and mount it solidly into the gearbox tailshaft.....
Posted By: MoPar Jamie

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:15 AM

Dont attempt to push a car with a dead starter onto ramps one-manned:




Posted By: TheBlueBeast

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:12 AM

Jamie after having done exactly what you are describing I found out a secret. I'll tell you but don't tell everyone. Jack the car up after you have pushed it to where you want to work on it. When you get it high enough put the ramp undre the wheel (do it one wheel at a time). If you need a bit more up then jack up the tire and wheel combo to compress the spring. Much safer and easier on the car.
Posted By: ProSport

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:33 AM

Never use a makeshift radiator hose and a tranny cooler repaired with solder to start up a brand new motor for break-in. It will pump tranny fluid on the floor like a lake and the radiator will blow off the car like a freakin cannon, your car will get hit by a tidal wave of slimy fluids and it will take 6 hours out in the cold to clean it up.
Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:36 AM

Don't put in antifreeze in zero degree weather at night. In Virginia. Then next day you may have to rebuild the engine and get it welded up in a couple places. Put it in a few days before it gets cold!
Posted By: AdamMopar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:38 AM

Those are good here are mine...

Do not poor windshield washer fluid on an fire because it is the closest thing to water you have don't ask me how I know.

Brake cleaner stings your eyes, don't ask me how I know.

Don't drop your freshly packed wheel bearing in the dirt, don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:42 AM

it's not the shock you get from the high voltage coil that hurts its when you re-act and hit your head on the hood of the car.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:42 AM

When you are painting a sign for the sled race in the woods, and you are by youself, make sure the can/nozzle is pointing away from your eyes. Expecialy if you are wearing contacts.
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:50 AM

Do not put alcohol in contact lens case because they got dirty and needed something other than water to clean them
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 04:12 AM

Quote:

Do not put alcohol in contact lens case because they got dirty and needed something other than water to clean them


Did your eyes get all dizzy?
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 04:17 AM

I plead the fifth on my eyes burning for what seemed like eternity....
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 04:29 AM

Quote:

I plead the fifth on my eyes burning for what seemed like eternity....


YA, fith of Jack Daniels LOL
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:22 AM

If your sewer is plugged up and you got a nasty mess to take care of and your house is 2 storys tell your wife and kids the upstairs toilet DOES NOT FLUSH GOOD!!
Posted By: northcoastmopar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:44 AM

Don't try to balance an 833 on a small saddle floor jack, because as soon as you get the input shaft through the clutch a slight puff of wind will blow the 833 off the floor jack and the next sound you will hear will be the snapping of your bearing retainer.

A fool who trys to install an 11" flywheel through the bellhousing while sitting Indian style underneath a jacked car will promptly lose significant chunks of skin when the flywheel falls before the first bolt is started onto the hand which is leisurely resting on the ground.

..Oh and don't use the brand new inflatable swimming pool for the kids, that hasn't even been blown up yet, to put on top of the leaking gear oil from your fallen 833. Wives tend to frown on that. Or so I've heard.
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:49 AM

Dog dishes from the neighbors make really good drip pans, but I have never tried this
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:51 AM

A manual transmission will eventually mount up to the bellhousing, after cleany breaking the pilot tool off that you forgot about in the clutch/flywheel, also making it near impossible to use another tool till that one is removed
Posted By: Roughrdr

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:54 AM

New tires on new rims WILL find a way to unlatch your truck tailgate and roll past you going down the highway

or

Roll down the hill going to your house/shop
Posted By: Orange_Crush

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 06:24 AM

I don't think that I have EVER laughed this hard reading a thread. Here are some "lessons:"

1. When helping a friend replace his serpentine belt, always make sure his fingers are clear of belt AND pulley before letting go.

2. If you get stopped by a cop on a BS charge in a bitty little town like Sylacauga, Alabama, telling the police officer to let you know if his father ever marries his mother will only make things worse.

3. Playing the old "check my coil wire for a spark" joke on a guy who can beat the crap out of you is never smart (or healthy).

4. Talking dirty to a girl without making sure she's into it beforehand is a good way to earn a knee to the groin...tends to put a damper on the mood.

5. No matter how funny YOU think it may be, your girlfriend will not be amused when you call out another woman's name during the heat of passion.

6. The correct answer to, "Does this skirt make my a$$ look big?" is NOT "Naw baby...your a$$ does that just fine all by itself."

Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 07:15 AM

When after scoring a new but discarded mid 60's Chevelle 1/4 panel from Carlisle swap meet for your Demon's trunk floor, make sure to note how long the screws are in the screw gun your using to install the pieces or you may find yourself having a geyser of gas gushing from your new trunk floor being you just filled the tank with 92 octane. Dont ask me how...

When using a baseball bat to "curl under' the lip of your rear 1/4's to fit oversize tires might seem like a good idea, it usually ends up with a kinked wheel well lip or a fat lip..Don't ask...

When it's really cold out and you put cardboard in front of the radiator so it doesn't freeze up,don't forget to remove it later.

Always but always pull the wrench/ratchet TOWARD you. Pushing away tends to make you fall into fender wells,engine bays or other painful/hazardous places..Don't ask me how...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 07:34 AM

never ever forget to always keep a garbage can (leave lid off) near the back wood porch so that when ur honeys heel gets caught in the crack her crack will have something to land in!

after clutch shop finishes new clutch install and you are 10 minutes down the road when you find out that the 4 speed shifter has not been bolted down - keep foot away from rear tire when you jump out to inspect - tires like to run over feet!

never waste 3 hours trying to install headers on a 351 mustang before first taking said headers and heaving them across the floor and into the wall - works wonders and makes installation a snap!

dont spit into the wind
dont tug on supermans cape
and dont mess with jim.
Posted By: Nupe

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 08:09 AM

When swapping motors, remember to plug yer fuel line... especially with a full
tank.

Something about a tank of gas and asphalt that don't mix....

Don't assume the year of a transmission when installing a shift kit. Late model
727's shift a little odd with the early style kit, or so I've heard.
Posted By: Moparmal

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 08:47 AM

Towbars and shins don't mix ....(yowch!!)
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 09:05 AM

Reading posts titled "Don't ask me how I know.........." is a bad idea when recovering from surgery with a belly full of stiches
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 11:18 AM

Never try to take a dip of copenhagen with the window down at 80 MPH said copenhagen will fly out of the can and be attracted to your eyes like a magnet, creating an intense burning sensation in the eyes making it impossible to see the road because your eyes have turned into niagra falls trying to flush it out. It tends to make driving at 80 MPH a tad difficult without wrecking.

And never rub said eyes as it only makes it worse!



never pick a fight with a dip of copenhagen in as it will ensure two back to back A$$ whoopins
1. for picking the fight and 2. for puking on the guy your fighting with after he hits you in the stomach making you swallow your copenhagen



Jason
Posted By: calmopar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 12:10 PM

If you get the timing gun wires caught up in the running fan blades you can mess up a whole lot of stuff...don't ask me how I know!
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:11 PM

Always make sure the ignition key is off before removing the distributor cap and grabbing the rotor button.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:18 PM

Don't ask me how I know....

1. That a coil spring WILL fly out and crack your sternum....

2. That the rounded over piece on top of a maul will fly off when you are splitting wood, and go right thru your lower lip like a bullet...

3. That a 16 penny nail will go cleanly thru the bottom of your sneaker, your entire foot, and out the top of your sneaker....

4. That failing to replace the drain plug on your '67 Pontiac will allow all 7 quarts of oil to permanently stain the driveway...

5. That not putting the fuel filter gaskets on a Holley DP will flood your new engine with gas, and ruin the engine paint....

6. That throwing a can of wax against the brick front on the house will end up leaving a stain that has lasted 30 years....

7. That punching the side of the garage as hard as you can will fracture your hand and break 2 knuckles.....
Posted By: 70dart360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:27 PM

If you goof and grab a 6 cyl ignition module and plug it into your V-8 harness dont pull the coil wire with the key on, it will constantly fire!
Dont play hide and seek with your kids with an old VW with a long exhaust pipe sticking out sitting in the yard. Makes a nasty bruise on your shin, a skinned up chin and aweful hard to breathe after you bounce off the driveway!
Make sure your wheel chocks are at least 6 inches tall. A 64 newport is hard to stop free rolling.
Posted By: northcoastmopar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:52 PM

Before you spend two days swapping out a motor to cure the severe overheating that you are absolutely sure is being caused by the engine you might want to confirm that it isn't something simple like a plugged radiator.

Posted By: DirectSubjection

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:53 PM

if your cigarette lighter shorts, smokes, and blows the fuse - you can turn on your interior lights by pressing the horn...
Posted By: Quikshft

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 02:57 PM

Quote:

Priming an oil pump with a drill motor and hex attachment does generate substantial pressure in the system.




P.S. You can't prime an engine without a reversable drill motor.
Posted By: Quikshft

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:03 PM

NEVER test your kids brand new Slip-N-Slide wearing cut-off jeans. (unless you desire two really narrow Slip-N-Slides)
Posted By: mopar_man

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 03:07 PM

Never push or pull on your 1/4 glass on your restored 66 coronet 500 when installing the cats wiskers. they will break............don't ask!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:31 PM

When standing beside your racecar, don't rev up your race cars engine.... with the trans in neutral... and the CO2 shifter still turned ON.

Unless you're wanting to auto-load you car into the enclosed trailer.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 05:57 PM

dont climb any higher than what your willing to fall
Posted By: TheBlueBeast

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 06:59 PM

When working on a piece of equipment you have never worked on before a good thing to have is some sort of manual. Thinking you know what you are doing can result in a busted lip when working on a Model 3910 ford tractor's starter because there is a hidden starter bolt behind the chevy style solinoid convincing you that it is simply engaged in the flywheeel and all you need is a larger prybar to get it off. DAMHIK
Did anyone else notice that DAMNIK can be sounded out as Dam# Hick?
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 07:20 PM

...that you should check to see if thee parts you're wife brought you, will indead be able to get you off the side of the road, BEFORE you spend 9 hours with an air chisle in 120 heat index, and then still have to call a wrecker

...that the wrecker service you called can indeed tow you

...if said service can't do the job, they won't call you to let you know

DAMNIK (both pronunciations work for me)
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 08:54 PM

....pantyhose make pretty good fanbelts.
Posted By: Black_Sheep

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/13/03 11:02 PM

Quote:

If you get the timing gun wires caught up in the running fan blades you can mess up a whole lot of stuff...don't ask me how I know!



If I didn't know better I'd think you were watching me.

If your car is up on dollies with the rear axle brakes disconnected, putting the trans in gear (even with your foot on the brake) will launch the dollies out from under the back tires and send them crashing into your toolbox. Of course, when the spinning rear tires hit the floor, the car will take off out of the garage with no steering or brakes. (dollies are still under the front tires remember)

Don't ask me how I know...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 12:04 AM

The PARK function of your automatic transmission nor the parking brake will work if you put a floor jack under the differential and raise the rear tires off the shop floor!!!

ANYTHING but brake fluid plays havoc with the specially formulated rubber seals in your brake system.

What goes UP, will come DOWN when you least want them to!!!

Dan
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 12:33 AM

removing your batter cable is a good ideawhen working on your car, even if your doing something like removing exhasut, it might happen to fall on a possitive starter cable and melt things
Posted By: DARTROD

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 01:49 AM

I think someone else may have figure this out too,slicks don't work well on wet pavement,even dot approved ones.

When patching hole in junk jeep waggoneer drivers floor,don't assume because the filler cap is on the rear Qtr that the tank will be there also.
Eleven 1/8" holes in a straight line,where did they come from?
Posted By: hemiheadNC

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 02:07 AM

That when your dumasss bro-in-law drills thru his trunk floor to hook up a trailer hitch( 68 Charger) that you can wet yourself laffing when he punctures his new spare tire.(new car blues in 1968). Also, when he mounts his 8-trak player on the floor tunnel( no console) that it only takes about 10 minutes to fry his transmission when all the ATF is pumped out because he drills through the floor AND the trans case. I really pissed myself on that one.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 02:19 AM

Dont put washers behind flywheel bolts
"Don't ask me how I know"
http://www.moparts.org/ubbthreads/
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 02:20 AM

Quote:

). Also, when he mounts his 8-trak player on the floor tunnel( no console) that it only takes about 10 minutes to fry his transmission when all the ATF is pumped out because he drills through the floor AND the trans case.


LMAO
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 02:49 AM

When pulling your speed boat out of the lake with your '69 Roadrunner 4-speed, don't let your drunken/stoned friend drive the car up the ramp if he doesn't know the reverse indicator light means the car is in reverse when he let's the clutch out. "Don't ask my friend Bill how he knows..."

There is a reason for wearing welding goggles when welding. "Don't ask my friend Steve how he knows..."


Posted By: Darrell

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 03:09 AM

Quote:

Never try to take a dip of copenhagen with the window down at 80 MPH said copenhagen will fly out of the can and be attracted to your eyes like a magnet, creating an intense burning sensation in the eyes making it impossible to see the road because your eyes have turned into niagra falls trying to flush it out. It tends to make driving at 80 MPH a tad difficult without wrecking.

And never rub said eyes as it only makes it worse!



never pick a fight with a dip of copenhagen in as it will ensure two back to back A$$ whoopins
1. for picking the fight and 2. for puking on the guy your fighting with after he hits you in the stomach making you swallow your copenhagen



Jason





Glad to know I'm not the only one with these troubles!!!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 11:16 AM

COPENHAGEN is the breafast of champions its the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night.
Posted By: nhramark

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 03:00 PM

Quote:

If your car is up on dollies with the rear axle brakes disconnected, putting the trans in gear (even with your foot on the brake) will launch the dollies out from under the back tires and send them crashing into your toolbox. Of course, when the spinning rear tires hit the floor, the car will take off out of the garage with no steering or brakes. (dollies are still under the front tires remember)

Don't ask me how I know...




THAT, is funny!! Never a video camera when you need it.
Posted By: Blown71X

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 04:00 PM

Quote:


If you slap stick shifter button has a habit of sticking, it is possible to shift all the way from first to park at 40 mph while racing....




They will also go quite easily into reverse from first at full throttle and 6000 rpm in a less than a hour old purchased car that the original owner neglected to mention about the coke that was spilled on the console a week before. "mental note to self" torqueflites don`t like this

Oh and black electrical tape is not the best way to keep the "pull back" rods on the outer carbs of a fresh 6bbl motor..the post about not locking the steering wheel while turning the key off also comes to mind here for some reason
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 04:56 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Here's yer slug


Hey PrimerDuster318.... you LICKED one of those things????








I never SAID I did...On this thread, at least.

But it's hard to talk for a while afterwards, Don't ask me how I know that!

Maybe I should have added this to a different thread titled "Everyone else was doing it" or "What's the worst thing you've put in your mouth?"

BTW, I personally know hundreds of people out here who've licked those things, so I COULD have simply witnessed the result and posted it because I thought it was funny, or maybe I was really dared to do it as a kid, Only I know for sure.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 05:03 PM

Too late now! Besides I read that other topic/thread. WE DO KNOW !
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 05:20 PM

Of course you do, Tom.

It's just a Gastropod, which many people are fond of eating. Not much different from Escargot or Abalone. Lots of people eat that...

...It's just that THEY cook it first.

Don't ask me how I know this, but they don't taste like Bananna. They will coat your tongue with a thick layer of slime, which bonds quite well to the taste buds and is hard to wash off. Try rinsing your mouth with coca-cola.

Don't lick one and then eat potato chips or something else salty. If you've ever poured salt on a snail you'll know why.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 05:23 PM

LOL
Posted By: RokketRide

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 06:31 PM

If you cant get enough of a grip to unplug your 220v compressor. Dont reach your fingers all the way around the plug.
Posted By: BSharp

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 06:40 PM

MIG welding in a leather apron would be a good idea. MIG welding in Tevas is not. DAMHIK
Posted By: OlleB

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 08:18 PM

Dont ask,,,,,,,why its a bad idea to try pushing your car that dont get any tracktion at winter with snow and ice all around the wheels.
And dont put the car in gear,, turn the frontwheels max to the left,, walk out of the car and look how the rear wheels slowly spinning around without getting hold on the icy surface and THEN help pushing the car from behind as much as you can.
Dont think you can catch up with the car if it by this operation luckely get grip and disapper in a crowded street with no one inside the car,,and please,, dont ask me how,,,,

Best R Olle B
Posted By: dodgepu360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 09:07 PM

if you are driving the lawn mower in high gear and get stuck in a ditch be sure to put the lawn mower in low gear before you get off to pick up the back of the mower because if you dont you look like an idiot chasing the lawn mower down the street

if you load your tractor on to a trailer by unhooking it from the truck (redneck tilt bed) be sure to move the truck far enuff away from the front of the trailer... if not the trailer tongue will leave nice dent in the tailgate
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 09:10 PM

Quote:

if you are driving the lawn mower in high gear and get stuck in a ditch be sure to put the lawn mower in low gear before you get off to pick up the back of the mower because if you dont you look like an idiot chasing the lawn mower down the street

if you load your tractor on to a trailer by unhooking it from the truck (redneck tilt bed) be sure to move the truck far enuff away from the front of the trailer... if not the trailer tongue will leave nice dent in the tailgate


You may be a Redneck if you 'design' your own "tilt" trailer
Posted By: Reggie

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/14/03 09:32 PM

When you're just 11 and "helping" a grownup work on a car, it's not a good idea to hit the brake pedal while the drums are off....

When you're 18 and rewiring an antique car, do not use the old "twist and tape" method - you'll go slowly crazy.

When you're 18 and pouring a little gas in a carburetor to get a car started, it's best to use a very small container rather than a half-full 16 oz cup - just in case it backfires....

When placing a plumbing truck on a service station lift, it's a good idea to move the truck farther forward than normal to compensate for the added weight of the equipment and supplies in the back - that way, you won't have to change your underwear...

When adjusting the carburetor on an older running lawnmower without the safety shut-off handle, it's a good idea to keep the tip of your finger out from under the lip of the housing...
Posted By: TheBlueBeast

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 12:49 AM

If licking that slug is so bad. What about the inbreeders who were licking those FROGS back in the 80s out west? My parents asked me so many time about frogs I brought home a big old toad and asked them if they would lick something like that. Got a whipping for being a smart@$$ but never got asked about frog licking again.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 01:03 AM

Quote:

If licking that slug is so bad. What about the inbreeders who were licking those FROGS back in the 80s out west? My parents asked me so many time about frogs I brought home a big old toad and asked them if they would lick something like that. Got a whipping for being a smart@$$ but never got asked about frog licking again.




"Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies must have hit pretty close to home, then. If you're not familiar with it, go look up the lyrics.

"Son, are you on toads?

"No, Mom, I was just thinking, Hey, could you bring me a Pepsi?"

"No, YOU CAN"T HAVE A PEPSI, YOU'RE ON TOADS, AREN'T YOU?"

"ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI."

Don't ask me where I heard that.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 02:50 AM

Non-working gas gauges will make you late for work.

7 1/4" M-Body axles are good for one thing: Breaking!

taking your Diplomat through old railroad beds & flooded roads is a bad idea (but it's fun)

Stepping on a 16D while carrying a bag of shingles hurts, especially when you drove a 4 speed truck to work that day.

Hooking up your battery backwards in your Ramcharger WILL fry your fusible links.

727 bellhousings CAN cut your finger

Electrical tape, duct tape & super glue can make great band-aids.
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 05:41 AM

Never back yor station wagon up to the trailer hitch of your flat deck car trailer without hitching it up, ESPECIALLY if you are not fond of getting beat in the first round and just want to load up and go home. Not me, BTW.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:44 AM

NEVER cut out rusted floor pans with a very large acetalyn torch. You never know where the gas/brake lines may run... I'll fess up to this one...
Posted By: 65rbdodge

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 09:29 AM

a car will start in gear when you stick a screw driver in the starter relay.

you can drive an 87 dakota 4x4 home at least 2 miles with 1 broken outer tie rod as long as you stay below 5mph
Posted By: sc4400

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 10:55 AM

....that making a few quick tack welds with your Mig welder with your eyelids closed for eye protection will result in the feeling of ground glass in your eyes at 4AM. Unbelievable pain.
RIP
Posted By: 69 Road Runner

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 12:33 PM

... in a 67 Barracuda that had a 273 in it, you can fit a 360, 10.5" 360 flywheel, 10.5" Centerforce clutch, original 273 bellhousing and hook up the driveshaft. When you try to install the starter, you'll discover that your 273 bellhousing is not for 10.5" flywheels and clutches and you need to order a 10.5" bellhousing.
Posted By: 62maxwgn

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 01:13 PM

When you install the valve on your power steering box,don't center it.That way you can have your damn arm ripped off when you start your engine.It really feels good.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 04:50 PM

As per popular demand...

Never MIG weld for a couple of hours straight hoping the plastic wood-working safety glasses between your retinas and 10x the UV radiation of the sun will keep you safe. Last nights hospital trip should prove enough so don't ask me how I know..
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 05:25 PM

Fox that was way funny!
Posted By: B3422W5

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 05:28 PM

putting gas in your race car at a national event will enable it to get "all the way"down the track,if you dont,it wont.ask me how i know
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 05:30 PM

Quote:

putting gas in your race car at a national event will enable it to get "all the way"down the track,if you dont,it wont.ask me how i know


ooops!
Posted By: 340727dart

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 05:59 PM

A 318 with a mechanical fuel pump really needs the fuel pump eccentric bolted in place in order to run.
Even if you did ask how I know this, I wouldn't tell.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:05 PM

A '69 Charger, on the other hand, with an electric fuel pump, CAN be operated without even a gas tank, provided you're 19 and have a buddy stupid enough to sit where the gas tank used to be holding a fuel hose into a Jerry can.

Don't ask me how I know this.
Posted By: BSharp

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:08 PM

Quote:

A '69 Charger, on the other hand, with an electric fuel pump, CAN be operated without even a gas tank, provided you're 19 and have a buddy stupid enough to sit where the gas tank used to be holding a fuel hose into a Jerry can.

Don't ask me how I know this.




Now that's the kinda thing I'm talkin' about! No more slug-licking, please.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:23 PM

At least I knew enough not to smoke back there.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:39 PM

Quote:



Now that's the kinda thing I'm talkin' about! No more slug-licking, please.




Yeah, Lots of people hated that post. I KNOW they did. Don't ask me how I know they did, I'm just assuming.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:44 PM

Quote:

Quote:



Now that's the kinda thing I'm talkin' about! No more slug-licking, please.




Yeah, Lots of people hated that post. I KNOW they did. Don't ask me how I know they did, I'm just assuming.


How many pm's did you get on that?
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:51 PM

None, that's why I have to go off my assumptions, here. Probably a lot, this thread has a LOT of traffic.

Almost as much as a thread with "Dart Girl" "MoPar Jamie" or "Chicken" in the title.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:54 PM

Sooo what happened to the chicken anyway?
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:55 PM

It's still hanging around on Serge's Superbird wing.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 06:57 PM

Supper!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:18 PM

Mine seems to be very happy, but don't ask me how I know that. It's not like she can tell me.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:20 PM

The hole in the plate between the scattershield and block goes on the proper side so the starter snout can be mounted thru that hole and engage with the flywheel. Get it right before mounting the tranny, ect. !
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:22 PM

Quote:

The hole in the plate between the scattershield and block goes on the proper side so the starter snout can be mounted thru that hole and engage with the flywheel. Get it right before mounting the tranny, ect. !




Starters can't be flipped upside down and mounted on the other side of the motor, don't ask Tom how he knows that.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:24 PM

Quote:

Quote:

The hole in the plate between the scattershield and block goes on the proper side so the starter snout can be mounted thru that hole and engage with the flywheel. Get it right before mounting the tranny, ect. !




Starters can't be flipped upside down and mounted on the other side of the motor, don't ask Tom how he knows that.


Man why didn't you tell me that a few years ago. I woulda saved a couple days![couldn't find the bolt holes on the other side!]
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:28 PM

Because I figured I'd give you the opportunity to break out the drill and try to make your own over there.

That way you could come on this thread and say "When trying to mount a starter on the wrong side of the motor, you can use your drill to lighten the flywheel or drain your torque convertor.

I'm just lookin' out for you, man.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:34 PM

Thanks, I need the support
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:37 PM

I knew that. Don't Ask me how.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:39 PM

Probably from all the rambling I do. After all, I do own a Rambler
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:44 PM

A couple weeks before I got the Dart Wagon I was looking at an old Sliding-Roof Wagonaire.

So by your Rambler rationale, would that have made me an Aire-Head?
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:48 PM

Quote:

A couple weeks before I got the Dart Wagon I was looking at an old Sliding-Roof Wagonaire.

So by your Rambler rationale, would that have made me an Aire-Head?


I didn't say that!!!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 07:55 PM

That's okay. If I HAD bought it I probably would have posted something like:

"Did you know that you can accidently primer a rare, otherwise functional sliding hardtop permanently shut in your own driveway with rattle cans? Don't ask me how I know."
Posted By: Beeracuda

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 08:49 PM

An 833 dropped on your buddy's head can result in a trip to the hospital.

Attempting to get your car off of the jackstands by using a floorjack at the front and rear at the same time is not a good thing to do.

Monty
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/15/03 10:08 PM

removing an oily four speed with bell housing can despite warnings about hand placement, lead to removal of finger tips, lots of blood and your mate passing out from the site of his (ex) fingers leading to further complications of concussion and a dented front fender....
Posted By: GomangoCuda

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 10:42 AM

An Msd 7 has enough power to make you hit your head on the hood and fall on your butt. Your hole arm will shake for at least 15 minutes.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 01:15 PM

Ignoring the dipstick in my very high mileage daily driver results in taking the bus to work.

Being told to shut up and mind my own business while a neighbor was about to have his 4x4 Ramcharger towed with a wheel lift type towtruck results in many hours of laughing while watching said neighbor trying to scrub 90W off his driveway from a broken differential.

They are right, POR 15 does not come off your hands.....nobody said anything about your face!

Accell supercoils explode if you leave the ignition on without the engine running for a couple of hours. An oil covered engine compartment is a pain in the but to clean up.

Driving 5 miles back home with a broken tie rod is possible, the loose tire will follow strait but only at less that 1 mph.

Very expensive NOS parking light lenses melt very easy when the wrong bulbs are installed behind them.

I also agree that carb cleaner burns like hell when you get it in your eyes.

As the subject says, dont ask me how i know these things.



Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 04:06 PM


Replace all 30 year old brake lines when upgrading your brakes, unless you like scrubbing brake fluid off your driveway after testing your fancy new brakes for the first time.
Posted By: dem440c

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 05:22 PM

...it's a good idea to install the oil filter before priming the oil pump...

...put the valve covers back on before priming the oil pump...

...a box end wrench is not the tool of choice for installing tranny cooler lines...

...yes, you can put out an engine fire with a can of Mountain Dew...

...always get the core engine with all accessories and brackets attached; conversely, never try to mix'n'match big block accessories, brackets, and water pump housings from various vintages...

...while crimping the wiring connectors for the lights on your mechanical water temp gage, be careful not to slice through the sensor lead with the other end of your multi-function crimping tool...

...test your brand new water temp gage in a pot of boiling water before trusting it during cam break-in...

...not checking your oil for two months in a 200,000 mile engine results in large holes in the block...

...tuning around a massive vacuum leak just means you'll have to start the tuning process over when you finally fix the vacuum leak...

...30+ year old plastic is quite brittle...

...don't ask me how I know! I'll think of a few more later
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 06:18 PM

IF your not getting gas to your pick up truck but really need to get it home to fix it you can cut the top out of a gatorade bottle and fill it with gas and create a siphon flow mini gast tank by proping it up with the windshield wiper and using a piece of rubber hose. you can regulate the flow with a pair of vice grips and they also help to keep the rubber hose flowing into the top of your carb.


just dont go to fast and pray you dont have far to go.

Jason

Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 06:50 PM

I know how to break a new camshaft by having valve springs with too much spring pressure!
Posted By: ply426

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 07:12 PM

My plastic oil pressure guage line,hot hemi headers and budwieser did not mix,,,,,, DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 07:42 PM

When using an aftermarket cruise control on the freeway, DO NOT pop it into neutral just to see what will happen. I actually don't know exactly what happens but I have an old roommate that does.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 07:49 PM

Quote:

a 5HP go-cart wont turn 90 degrees at full throttle.....







OUCH! ROTFL
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 08:11 PM

The cops do not like it if you set fire to your own car at midnight on a backcountry road and leave it there. Creates a B I G arson investigation.
Posted By: 1970GTX

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 09:11 PM

Never put wax into a solder pot designed for lead sinkers, they get a smidge too hot for the wax and it goes up in flames.

Always ensure that the drain plug is back in the oil pan before adding any oil.

Never manual shift a C4 that's behind a 351 Cleveland, they lock up in gear.

Never put a 24 volt lamp into a socket designed for a 120 volt lamp, it goes off like a flashbulb.


Don't ask me how I know
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 10:37 PM

If you happen to connect the dash light hot wire to the ground lug on your lighter, the dash lights will go on when you push the lighter in.....also note, the dash light fuse will blow instantly when you turn the lights on. Don't ask me how I know.

Dan
Posted By: dodgepu360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 10:53 PM

Quote:

Never put a 24 volt lamp into a socket designed for a 120 volt lamp, it goes off like a flashbulb.




I am gonna have to try that
Posted By: dart_sportsatellite

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/16/03 11:52 PM

...a box end wrench is not the tool of choice for installing tranny cooler lines...


ROTFLMAO!!!!
Posted By: oleman

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 01:37 AM

I you are towing a VW Beetle behind a motor home and it comes disconnected, you will not have it at your next gas stop.
VW Beetles do not like to be towed at 60 mph when the are left in 2nd gear. Really warms up the engine even with the engine off.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 02:06 AM

......that those pants dont make her butt look fat. even if it is.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 02:33 AM

CudaCharger is going to be pissed, after I get my motor in the 69RR
"Don't ask me how I know"
Posted By: Erics5th

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:31 AM

This just in: Don't leave paper towels laying around engine compartment. Said towel gets blown back into the alternator and little bits get stuck inside, causing a "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" sound. Please, don't ask.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:33 AM

Dropping your brand new wing nut that held on the air hat right down one of the butterflies of your throttle body will make you immediately feel dumber than you've ever imagined possible. Not me, but a very poor friend
Posted By: AdamMopar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 06:28 AM

When cutting trees, make sure that it is not going to fall in the direction of the controls of a bulldozer that is running, especially when it's pointed at a building. It tends to make big holes in building. Don't ask me how I know. Adam
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 06:34 AM

If you have gas line freeze up, warming up gasoline on the stove to pour into the tank is not a good idea.
Unless you and your neighbours want to be homeless.

Only in Montreal.
Posted By: DARTSPORT340

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 03:50 PM

Never use the Map light switch under your dash as a disconnect for a tach that is draining you battery...switch is not insulated an will arc out against dash causing a small fire and burning up tach and a battery cell causing battery not to charge any more...
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 03:58 PM

Quote:

When cutting trees, make sure that it is not going to fall in the direction of the controls of a bulldozer that is running, especially when it's pointed at a building. It tends to make big holes in building. Don't ask me how I know. Adam




I think we have a winner here!

Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:02 PM

Quote:

When cutting trees, make sure that it is not going to fall in the direction of the controls of a bulldozer that is running, especially when it's pointed at a building. It tends to make big holes in building. Don't ask me how I know. Adam




NICE! I thought that sort of thing only happened in movies. Got my vote.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:04 PM

Quote:

Quote:

When cutting trees, make sure that it is not going to fall in the direction of the controls of a bulldozer that is running, especially when it's pointed at a building. It tends to make big holes in building. Don't ask me how I know. Adam




NICE! I thought that sort of thing only happened in movies. Got my vote.


make that 3
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:06 PM

Slug-Licking HAS to be a close second, though.

Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:17 PM

Quote:

Slug-Licking HAS to be a close second, though.




You can't get too close when you're sliding around and can't get a real good grip!
Posted By: BSharp

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:22 PM

The dozer incident will be hard to top. But for something we can all relate to, I like the box-end wrench on the hard lines. Someone please send that man a set of flare-nut wrenches!
Posted By: Blown71X

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:39 PM

roflmao

The dozer incident gets my vote

BTW this thread is absolutely the funniest thing i`ve read in ages...keep it comming

Rick
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:44 PM

Back when I was a poor college student and didn't have any $ to invest in tools I was doing my swap meet 4 bbl swap and "Captured" a box end wrench between the carb and fuel pump, myself.

I know the feeling of finally getting it all bolted up and then realizing "D'oh!" I was halfway tempted to just zip tie the other end to a heater hose and leave the stupid thing there.

But at least I spent some $ on a new line and bent it, instead of just running 3 feet of rubber fuel line hose past the exhaust manifold. Don't ask me how I know NOT to do that.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 04:50 PM

A cracked transmission cooler line that leaks directly over the exhaust manifold will cause the car to catch on fire while your girlfriend is driving the car. AND, the fire will cause the brakes to fail allowing the car to crash into the corner of the gargage where your brand new car is parked. And, since the car is totally on fire, you can't move it away from the garage, which has your new car in it.....Thank God the fire department is only a mile away.....
Posted By: dem440c

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:21 PM

Quote:

Someone please send that man a set of flare-nut wrenches!




now accepting donations! Never turn down free tools!

which reminds me of another one:

Hand tools that are left on the lawn will not sprout next spring and grow more hand tools. Don't ask me how I know!
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:23 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Someone please send that man a set of flare-nut wrenches!




now accepting donations! Never turn down free tools!

which reminds me of another one:

Hand tools that are left on the lawn will not sprout next spring and grow more hand tools. Don't ask me how I know!


And the lawn mower CAN find them, even when you can't.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:30 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Someone please send that man a set of flare-nut wrenches!




now accepting donations! Never turn down free tools!

which reminds me of another one:

Hand tools that are left on the lawn will not sprout next spring and grow more hand tools. Don't ask me how I know!


And the lawn mower CAN find them, even when you can't.




But the most entertaining way to recover lost hot wheels cars as a kid was to lose 'em on the lawn, then wait eagerly for Dad to mow.

Golf balls were good, too.

Nothing like watching pop's face turn red after there was a loud "Bang." and He'd jump about 3 feet, accidently let go of the safety handle and have to spend 5 minutes restarting the lawnmower with the pull rope.

I Wonder how I know that?
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:34 PM

Quote:


Nothing like watching pop's face turn red after there was a loud "Bang." and He'd jump about 3 feet, accidently let go of the safety handle and have to spend 5 minutes restarting the lawnmower with the pull rope.

I Wonder how I know that?




You were probably the kid half in this sinario weren't you?
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:38 PM

Would explain why I thought it was entertaining, wouldn't it

Especially when it happened again 4 feet later.

And being the dad half of the scenario would mean that I'd bred at some point...

which A) I don't seem to recall doing and B) Is a SCARY thought to both me and the rest of the free world, so it is something I'm pretty much determined NOT to do. You can all relax, now.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 05:48 PM

Reminds me of the time I was mowing the yard out back. Hit a real big rock. The blade bent up and cut a slot in the deck. And stopped the motor as in NOW! I thought for sure everything was broke or bent. Crank shaft and all. I hammered the blade back out of the slot. The blade looked ok, so I started the motor. Ran fine, nothing bent. Finished the yard. Good ol' Briggs and Stratton.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 06:21 PM

Don't tow your racecar without checking the presure in your trailer tires.

Don't prime your new race engine without verifying the oil filter is in place. (Can you say "mini exxon valdez".)

Don't hold the negative clamp on the timing light while someone else pulls the trigger. You make an excellent ground.

And lastly, an oldie but a goodie,
Always remember and never forget to either set your parking brake or put your manually shifted car in gear while at the drive-in movies equipped with "hang on your window speakers with steel cable so you don't steal them feature".
Posted By: TurquoiseRT

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 06:49 PM

Distributors have this thing in them called a rotor. A car will not start without it!!! You will eventually have to recharge your battery after numerous attempts to start said engine.

Dont ask me how I know!!

Jeff
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 07:22 PM

When your friends' hair is on fire (done by his girlfriend in the back seat), it will cause you to take your eyes off the road and hit a Greyhound bus that has stopped in front of you at 35 MPH in a mint 1968 Mustang fastback.....and you did'nt have your seatbelt on....

And, it was in 1971.....
Posted By: dodgepu360

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 07:24 PM

if you like the dozer incident then you will like this

if you are going to haul a backhoe and the battery is dead when you try to load it, dont leave it running on the trailer after you jump start it to charge up the battery, because if you do every time you hit a bump the lever for raiseing the front loader jiggles and the bucket raises up, after the bucket is all the way up and you drive under an over pass the bucket will hit and rip the backhoe right off the trailer and totaly f-up the backhoe

but dont ask me... ask my dad he's the one that did it
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 07:28 PM

That reminds me of something I saw one day ... I'm driving along, two lane country highway, there's a tractor coming that's got a load of hay in a bucket on the front of it.

All at once the bucket starts going up ... and up ... and up ... until it dumps the load of hay back on the driver.

I saw all that because the road was nice and straight. When I went by the tractor the driver was fighting his way out of the hay and laughing like a maniac.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 07:29 PM

Quote:

bucket raises up, after the bucket is all the way up and you drive under an over pass the bucket will hit and rip the backhoe right off the trailer and totaly f-up the backhoe



Something similar happened localy quite a few years ago. He went under a low overpass, the bucket boom caught on the overpass and the tractor swiveled and the front loader sliced off the top of a car coming the other way. As well as the heads of the three? people in the car.
Posted By: BBR

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 08:22 PM

Quote:

a 5HP go-cart wont turn 90 degrees at full throttle.....




If you play chicken w/ your buddy in your go-karts make sure you both turn left when driving towards each other, NOT, you turn left and I'll turn right....think about it for a minute.

Which brings us to:

If you are playing chicken with your buddy and he turns right when you turn left, a steel basketball goal post will stop your kart immediately and you will talk in a funny voice for a while...if you can ever catch your breath.

DAMHIK
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 08:28 PM

Quote:

Quote:

a 5HP go-cart wont turn 90 degrees at full throttle.....




If you play chicken w/ your buddy in your go-karts make sure you both turn left when driving towards each other, NOT, you turn left and I'll turn right....think about it for a minute.

Which brings us to:

If you are playing chicken with your buddy and he turns right when you turn left, a steel basketball will stop your kart immediately and you will talk in a funny voice for a while...if you can ever catch your breath.




That kind of planning makes a match of chicken less fun. Safer, but a lot less fun. Might as well just not try to run each other off the playground (Basketball pole?) at that point.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 08:55 PM

Dont ever drive your car after replacing the rear leafsprings without first hooking up the shocks... said cars rear will bounce and gyrate wildly all the way to the coffee shop and car will be subject to abrupt lane changes above 30 mph. You can ask how I know!
Posted By: 65rbdodge

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 09:56 PM

you don`t have to ask me how i know this, i`ll tell you-

DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE! how do i know this?

a few years ago at a 4th of july party at my buds house, there was his brothers (junk)subaru and we decided to take it for a ride. we went around the yard a few times, no problem. then my buddy decided he wanted to drive through the field with 3ft high grass. a about 35mph we came to an instant stop. it was dark and all i could see was beer dripping off the roof and a smashed windshield(from our heads). luckily no one was hurt at all!! the was a foundation in the middle of the field that my buddy(who has lived there all his life) for got about. DOHHHH!!!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 10:38 PM

Foundation...Sure it wasn't one of Mopar Jamie's Cars?
Posted By: 69Dartman

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/17/03 10:51 PM

Oh yeah never try to roll a trailer full of bricks down the driveway to connect to your work van..... not my idea...bumper was easier to unbend then we thought....
Posted By: dart_sportsatellite

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/18/03 12:58 AM

Don't play chicken with your brother who's just as crazy as your are when you both have your girlfriends in your cars and you're trying to impress them. And don't think he'll chicken out before you, cuz he won't! You end up with a head on collision, only the girlfriends go the hospital, don't ask some guys I used to know.

Don't move to MN from WI pulling an 87 Jeep Wrangler that has sat for 10 years on a dolly that only carries the front wheels behind a big moving truck, and don't expect those old rear wheel bearings not to lockup, breaking the axle retainer bolts shooting the tire and axle across the freeway. And don't expect to see the jeep in the rear view mirror. And don't think the people hanging out their window waving their arms and screaming at you are crazy because they saw what happened and you didn't. Don't ask me how I know:)
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/18/03 05:26 AM

A 73 Fury with a 360 will pull 110 mph in second gear. The same Fury will go for two weeks with a two piece crank ( What's that tickin' noise?)
Posted By: EV2DEMON

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/18/03 05:54 AM

Bad things happen when you take your car out of drive and put it in neutral and coast for a few seconds, only to mistakenly shift into reverse when you want accelerate again.

Trust what the jumper cables say and don't stand near a battery while you are jumping a car. Battery acid stings the eyes, and exploded plastic shrapnel is sharper than you'd think.

Don't attempt to do a heel-clicker over a 4 foot dirt hill on a Honda 300ex to impress your girlfriend. You don't even want to know the pain associated with that one. We'll just say the rest of that night was a wash.

When using ether and a match to pop a tire back on the rim, make sure your buddy is the one holding the tire upright so that when the flame travels up his arm, he is the one who looses his eyebrows.


Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/18/03 12:07 PM

Slamming a rotten log against your brick outdoor fireplace in anger will result in a large piece breaking off and hitting you square in the temple, knocking you out cold for 5 minutes.....
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/18/03 01:14 PM

Has anyone posted ... If you decide to shut the engine off to coast downhill and save gas, make sure you don't lock the steering column?

A guy I went to H.S. with did that, showed up in school one day with casts on both legs.
Posted By: A70Runner

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/19/03 06:46 PM

P on a auto car is not for passing gear. (not me but a friend honest)


Putting the dipstick back on a BB car at a gas station and hitting the positive cable of the battery will give many a person a heart attack

I'll think of more

Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/20/03 03:06 AM

Quote:

P on a auto car is not for passing gear. (not me but a friend honest)




But R is for race right?

When "drying" condensation in your distributor cap with WD-40 on a '76 small block truck, the cap should be removed from the distributor. You shouldn't blast in the WD through the vent hole and then try to start the engine unless you've got a spare cap!
Posted By: Snooker

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/20/03 06:12 AM

Lots of keepers here, and now we know why insurance rates are high and emergency rooms are busy on weekends

A few life changing moments --

1. When swapping carriers with your buddy, don't assume he refilled the case with gear oil (3.7 miles outside of town -- froze solid, whisps of smoke coming from the front pinion seal )

2. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight!!!

3. Don't play chicken with yer brother in the woods when he has the pellet gun and you got the B-B gun

4. Don't trust yer brother to hold the ladder while you paint the eves on the bunk house

5. When ya have replaced the axle bearings in a old 1/2-ton Chevy, remember to put the little clip back on the inner end of the axle or else in about a 1/4-mile the axle and wheel assembly does a whilry-gig out the side view mirror as the brake assembly on that side digs a trench in the gravel

6. Don't use a styrofoam cup to prep the accel pump when rebuilding the carb

7. Don't use a crow-bar to break the bumper bracket loose from where some idiot spotwelded it without first having removed the bumper, else when the weld finally lets go the whole da** bumper assembly falls on your knee and ya get a nice cut on the back of yer head, and the neighbors laugh as you try getting to the first aid kit with one hand on the knee cut and the other on the head cut while trying not to cuss too loud

8. Be sure the kids keep the windows rolled up on the right side of the car while passing a livestock truck that's going to the auction with a load of watered-up cows

9. Arc welding with tennis shoes on -- not a good idea

10. Starting a model aircraft engine (propeller nicely fitted and balanced -- I thought) in a poorly cinched up vice in a small garage with your father right outside the window the darn thing is aimed at is not a good idea

How I got this old is still a mystery!

Posted By: A70Runner

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 12:10 AM

Remember another one...

When the soldering Iron falls don't try to catch it...I caught the wrong end once...Once
Posted By: TheBlueBeast

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 12:46 AM

when your glass coffe pot falls out of the dish drainer, DO NOT try to catch it. As soon as your hand touches the pot it instantly explodes leaving a gash in your hand along the pinky to the bone. The whole time your mother (who was over to babysit while I went to work on my boss's truck) will be all freaked out and demanding you go to the hospital. I did not and got a small scar out of it.
When you are working on a car DO Not use Brake cleaner to clean the engine (It evaporates so well). You will burn the entire harness off the engine and it is very difficult to locate a engine harness for a 84 Caddy with a 4.1 engine in the rural south.
If you think that a 94 Grand Prix is easy to stop when it was left in nuetral by the owner after filling her tank. It is not and will cause you to hyperextend your knee joint resulting in a 23K hospital bill after the bone and joint specialist is done rebuilding said knee.
Posted By: drbill

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 12:56 AM

While adjusting the idle on a 4 speed car don't grab the fan shroud to stop the car from rolling into the fence.
Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 01:11 AM

that even after 16 years on the same job its pretty darn easy to say i quit given the right situation.
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 05:27 AM

When laying across your (bench) seat working on something under the dash, be mindful of where your feet are, hitting the seat adjustor handle will cause the seat to fly foward with enough force to put a dent in the dash with your head.

Don't ask me how I know (ow)
Posted By: cudamank

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 06:11 AM

when installing a battery for an old neighbor lady in the dark do not first connect the neg, then the positve and while tighening the positive terminal short your wedding ring on the wrench you just turned and touched the fender with. Did you know 14K
is one of the best conductors of electricity? did you know that in a few seconds it will glow? did you know when you finnaly get it off it will leave 2degree burns on your ring finger and the two fingers you pulled it off with? Did you know it was easy to find in the dark because it was still glowing? Dont ask me how i know
Posted By: cudamank

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/21/03 09:05 PM

btt
Posted By: one_eyed_jack

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 02:20 PM

This is a great topic! I didn't have anything to add...until last night. A heater blower motor has enough mass and generates enough velocity after falling off your workbench to break your foot. Man I am the biggest klutz. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 03:29 PM

Don't try to fire off .22 shells by pounding on them with a rock.....
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 04:20 PM

1. Braided SS fuel line makes an excellent conductor. Especially for a trans dipstick that falls off the inner fender, against the hot post on the alternator with the tip touching the fuel line (which is full of fuel).
2. Jacking up one side of the car with the axles out will result in a $*%^& mess of hypoid oil on the floor.
3. Leaving a valve cover breather on the top of a '68 Fury air cleaner and slamming the hood will put a nice dimple in said hood.
4. Compressing a Caravan front strut with a cheap strut compressor will result in the strut firing itself around the garage.
5. Using a cheap tow rope to tow the race car to tech at the Brainerd musclecar shootout will result in much embassament, early.
6. Drilling a hole in the side rail of your trailer and installing a long self-tapping screw to secure the wiring may somehow be the reason the loading ramp cannot be removed.
7. Driving your Dart with the remote starter switch still attached may be a reason for the plastic end of the remote starter taking on the round shape of a header pipe.
8. Leaving a large box of nightcrawlers (with no top) on the floor of your air conditioned motel room to keep them cool is a bad idea.
9. Jumping out of a car at 30 mph because 007 and Arnold have done it is a bad idea.
...don't ask me how I know...
Posted By: Permethrin

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 04:36 PM

when running out of hands don't use your forehead to hold the arm of the drill press.

alumminum is the same color no matter what temperature it is
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 05:22 PM

1951 Chevy Trucks make better floatation devices than Volkswagen Beetles...
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 05:25 PM

Don't try to throw a M-80 out the window while driving, and then figuring out the window was closed because you were under the influence of something.....and the M-80 bouces between the seats and goes off......
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 05:30 PM

Better between the seats then between your legs
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:22 PM

Quote:

Better between the seats then between your legs




AMEN!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:25 PM

Quote:

Better between the seats then between your legs




And don't ask Tom how HE knows this!
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:29 PM

Quote:

Quote:

Better between the seats then between your legs




And don't ask Tom how HE knows this!


I'm smart, I've never played with fireworks in a car. Now in the middle of the road is a diff thing ...part large m-whatever it was. Take out all powder, and all filling. Put in powder and shotgun shell powder=big boom! The kid next door know right away what, and who, it was. Big white spot in the road
Posted By: B_Body_Bob

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:39 PM

Ever heard a railroad flare go off? In case you don't know, a railroad flare is basically a blasting cap modified to strap to a rail. The train runs over it, and the expolsion alerts the engineer to trouble ahead.

A friend's father worked for Chessie Systems, so he got a bunch and we strapped them down to the tracks and threw bricks at them to set them off. I remember feeling the percussive wave go by my head, and I couldn't hear for a while after.

Posted By: 73dodge

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:41 PM

Continually spraying starting fluid into a carb while the distributer is 180 degrees off will cause a backfire and blow the ends off of your brand new mufflers and shoot them across the street and cause the mufflers to end up looking like round coffee cans instead of the oval shape they started with.

Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:50 PM

Quote:

Ever heard a railroad flare go off? In case you don't know, a railroad flare is basically a blasting cap modified to strap to a rail. The train runs over it, and the expolsion alerts the engineer to trouble ahead.

A friend's father worked for Chessie Systems, so he got a bunch and we strapped them down to the tracks and threw bricks at them to set them off. I remember feeling the percussive wave go by my head, and I couldn't hear for a while after.






At least YOU didn't hit 'em with a Hammer.

I learned from watching the "Big Kids" down the street that M-Whatevers make a mess of the inside of a Newspaper Box, so do Groundbloom Flowers and Smokebombs. For a few years in my neighborhood, it was REALLY hard to get a newspaper around the Fourth of July, you usually just wasted .50.

They also taught me that Golf Courses could be cratered really easily by dropping one down the cup on a green.

And they also taught me that if you had 2 people, one with a wristrocket, firecrackers, rubber bands and a lighter, you could rubberband one to a small rock, load up and pull back the wristrocket, your buddy would yell "GO! as soon as the fuse sparked, and up into the air it went. They spent months knocking Turkey-Vultures and Seagulls out of the air this way. Bastards, Maybe I should get a pet Seagull.

Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 06:57 PM

No wonder turkey-vultures, and Calif. condors are rare anymore. [and I don't mean the un-cooked type of rare!]
Posted By: ScottSmith_Harms

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 08:13 PM

1. That when you are 19 and fearless you and your best buddy can't drive from Salt Lake City Utah to Spokane Washington in a rusted out 270K plus original mile baby blue 1964 Belvedere 4 door with a front end that is completely worn out AND has broken off outer tie rod end!.............But you might get as close as 50 miles from your destination if you try, (of couse a few spare coat hangers applied got it the rest of the way there).

2. That pushing a breaker bar away from you while trying to change the Spindles on a 68 Barracuda front end is the wrong dirrection to be applying all of your power and body weight will quickly prove that the steel fender opening edge is harder than your upper lip OR your two front teeth!

3. How to accomplish changing out a rusted 440 engine block freeze plug in a 66 Plymouth Belevedere convertible, the one behind the drivers side motor mount.......With nothing but a screw jack, a small hammer, a pair of vise grips, and a large flat blade screw driver.........Oh yeah, on the freeway at night in the middle of nowhere Yucca Arizona at midnight.....IN THE RAIN!

4. How to stop a 74 Duster when you see the School bus in front of you stopped at the stop sign, you are about 100 feet away from it doing 45, push the brake pedal and NOTHING happens! (Thank you nice lady for planting that nice soft bushy hedge row in front of your house on the side of the road)

5. How It feels when........You are 12 years old working on your grandfathers Rice farm digging mud and crap out of clogged ditches to improve water flow to the rice. When...
you are sent to clean out a clogged culvert that is at the end of a ditch that is about 10 foot wide and that SHOUD BE about 4-5 feet deep, the water is chocholate brown and full of mud, zero visability, as you cautiously wade into the water and find it to be only about 1 foot deep?????? Suddenly something gives under your feet and you drop down to your neck in water.....only to find that you are now completely engulfed buy a dead cow!

That my friends is one YOU DON'T want to experience!

6. What eating a live scorpion feels like because you were drunk and took the dare. (yes, REALLY!)
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 08:33 PM

Quote:


5. What eating a live scorpion feels like because you were drunk and took the dare. (yes, REALLY!)




Probably even creepier than licking a slug. (And y'all thought I was strange! )
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 08:41 PM

At least slugs don't "bite"! Or sting.
Posted By: Just Cameron

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/25/03 08:48 PM

They just tickle.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/26/03 04:45 AM

...but, don't forget to latch down the trailer after you hitch it to the ball. If you remember to put the safety chains on, I hear that the trailer can act like a battering ram when you freak out and slam on the brakes after it bounces off the ball going down the highway. That will surely wake your ass up.
Posted By: amxautox

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/26/03 06:56 PM

Quote:

...but, don't forget to latch down the trailer after you hitch it to the ball. If you remember to put the safety chains on, I hear that the trailer can act like a battering ram when you freak out and slam on the brakes after it bounces off the ball going down the highway. That will surely wake your ass up.


It'll also go back down the boat launch on it's own after it bounces off the ball--no, not me, a friend.
Posted By: RestoRick

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 05:24 AM

Don't ask me how I know...

1. Never load a trailer with a heavy vehicle on a hill... as the front of the trailer lifts the rear of the tow vehicle, it will lose traction and roll downhill at will. Stopping the several ton train can be a challenge.

2. Go-carts can make good sized holes in a steel garage door.

3. Never check to see if the tongue of a trailer is all the way down on the ball with your finger...it's a great way to nearly shear off your finger tip when it drops down at the same time.

4. Pulling a harmonic balancer with the puller catching on the water pump pulley can make the pump shaft break and send the pulley flying at supersonic speeds into your front teeth.

5. Laying naked on your bed when your wife's girlfriend is staying over for the weekend can be embarrassing.

6. A slide hammer should never be used in a position that might enable it to crush one's Daddy parts as the weight is slammed.

7. Always be sure the pin holding your receiver hitch in is secure; loosing this pin will make it difficult to prevent your car trailer from breaking the safety chains and controlling the trailer from racing across 3 lanes of traffic and ending up in the other ditch.

8. Be sure the distributor cap retaining tangs are well crimped; a loose tang will fall into the engine and require hours to find.

9. A 250# Modine heater should be well tied down when transporting it on a freeway in the back of a pickup truck; a small gust of wind will easily topple it off the truck and onto the road.

10. Wasps will build nests in strange places. Even in a intake hood for an air supply respirator. (Groundup bees are bad for pumps!)

Rick
This an awesome thread! LMAO
Posted By: RangerDan440

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 06:40 AM

...lug nuts need to be tightened on new aluminum wheels after 100 miles

adjusting transmission fluid lines at the radiator on a car that's running and has a Flex Fan can scar you for life

a girl can get pregnant on the pill

a Ford engine can spin a bearing at idle in New York City rush-hour traffic

it costs $650 to get a pickup towed 350 miles across West Texas when the cat plugs up

the sound a Mag-Lite flashlight makes on a convicted rapist's head

Posted By: 4speeds4me

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 08:57 AM

Quote:

A sure grip, a V8, rain, and a A body will tend to do a abrupt u turn with very little warning.......




...and I drove across the lawn at the local McDonalds from THAT one...

Sticking your hand in the blender will cause the motor to stop and make that annoying "whirring" noise...

Trying to be like Dad @ 5 years old will not stop the gas from going down your throat after sucking on the hose...

Making your own oil pump priming shaft can crack out the top of the pump if it's not straight, and finding where the oil pressure went can take WEEKS!

Assuming the manual trans you just installed has enough fluid in it to go for a quick drive can make the tranny VERY hot and not work anymore. Gosh, those gears are a pretty blue color (as opposed to Petty blue... )

Never assume that breaking the inside bead on a medium truck tire still on the vehicle means you can aim. A 7# hammer glancing into your temple in mid swing can cause an unexpected nap...

The guy across the intersection may not see your bicycle coming at him @ approximately 20MPH and may make that left turn anyhow...

Testing connections on an electric fuel pump while covered in gasoline can give you coveralls that make a cool conversation piece...

Not all vehicles have a clutch safety switch...

And my personal favorite...people frown on being passed by you when they are pulling over for an ambulance!

DAMHIK...
Posted By: 69Dartman

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 03:31 PM

Quote:

Quote:

A sure grip, a V8, rain, and a A body will tend to do a abrupt u turn with very little warning.......




...and I drove across the lawn at the local McDonalds from THAT one...




Somehow I knew I wasn't the only one.......
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 04:45 PM

Hearing the dull thud of a Steering Gear Box dropping on the cement garage floor inches from your left ear is not a sound you'd want to hear twice in your life! Don't ask me how I know this!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 06:06 PM

"Never gun the throttle lingage on the carburator when adjusting the idle speed because the manual for your 75 Chevelle says to adjust it in drive. The car will jump the 4x4 chunk of wood you used for a wheel chock with no problem. And if you happen to live across the street from a bluff you could come very close to exploring the woods below if your not hanging on to the steering wheel with your legs hanging out the door while your trying to shift the transmission back into park(it will just keep going).
Posted By: dbdartman

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/27/03 06:27 PM

Quote:

"Never gun the throttle lingage on the carburator when adjusting the idle speed because the manual for your 75 Chevelle says to adjust it in drive.




Never do this if you're adjusting the idle mix on a 66 Charger, while it's in reverse with the parking brake holding it back. Gun the engine once, & the car moves back about 1'... just enough to stop the car right on... one foot! The only way to get it off? Gun the engine again...!

DAMHIK
Posted By: bill_greenwood

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/28/03 02:49 AM

Wyoming State Troopers do not appreciate being passed on the right. By a Newport doing about 100. Nor do they appreciate being upbraided because "why'd they make the GD shoulder so GD wide if they didn't want us drivin' on it?"
Posted By: MoPar Jamie

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." - 07/28/03 03:07 AM

180+k '81 225 1-vs and moderate grades do not mix, especially in 3500 lb bricks, despite right foot in water pump and in direct in your OD-4 with 3.55 gears out back.

You MUST wait till the thermostat opens on a 225 to attempt even a slight refill. Not doing so will cause coolant to be expelled, ending up everywhere, including the sides of fenders.

Driving '71 Darts in 100+ degree weather sans carpet will make you feel like a cooked turkey, especially if the heater is turned on high to keep temps in check. (The car wasnt mine, my Buddys I helped retreive).

a trans pan filled with black fluid and many shavings does not mean the fluid was never changed, it indeed was. It really means that its even worse than trans coming out of your 1974 Monaco with busted low/reverse band.

Trans swaps on gravel suck if said trans is worse than the one you just pulled out of said 1974 Monaco.
© 2024 Moparts Forums