Posted By: cudadoug
GOTTA LAUGH AT THIS ONE..part 2... - 06/10/14 02:27 AM
Here's one for you. Tile guy comes to my house the other day to give me an estimate on some tile work. Very professional, seems intelligent and knows this stuff it sounds like. But then we entered the Twilight Zone. He sees my Dart project in the garage and we're off...
Him - Is that the Canadian Nova? (I swear!)
*In his defense, the roof and all windows were covered by the car cover*
Me - Nope. That's a 69 Dart.
Him - Cool! My Dad bought a new one in 70 with a Hemi.
Me - What?? A Dart?? I thought the Hemi Dart was a 68 only deal.
Him - They were supposed to be, but my Dad knew a VP at Dodge and they built one for him and his friend.
Me - (How do you respond to that?) I just said, keeping a straight face: Wow that's a very rare car and has to be worth major bucks.
Him - Yep. Dad wrecked his and we junked it and his friend sold his to a guy in Japan around 1980. Sold for right at a quarter mil. My Dad was not very happy knowing that he should have salvaged his.
Him - I used to do the speed thing, too only in a boat.
Me - Oh yea, a drag boat? (WHY would I ask that...really???)
Him - Yessir. A real nice, custom Pickle Fork. Built a small block Chevy for it though. I wanted to build a Hemi, but they're just too damn heavy.
Me - (Wanting out of this conversation without being rude) Yea, those small block Chevies are hard to beat for cost.
Him - Chuckles and says, Cost?? I have over $25K in that motor! I still have it even though I don't have the boat any more.
Me - Wow! That's one high $$ Chevvvvy.
Him - It was worth every penny. Made over 700 HP.
*Now I'm thinking maybe I underestimated the guy and he's just Mopar limited. Turns out no, he's just limited period.*
Me - How big is that small block?
Him - Wait for it....wait for it...
It's a 327 out of a Corvette.
Me - (Stunned) Wow...what heads and cam? (oh please make him go away)
Him - It's got trimmed (what the heck is that?), shaved and ported Fuelie heads and a...wait for it again...full roller 3/4 race cam. Oh and special titanium valves and pistons.
*I swear he's saying this all with a straight face*
Then he goes on to say, the boat was a record holder at over 160 MPH. But then he retired, pulled the motor and cut up the boat...
Me - Why did you cut up a perfectly good boat hull?
Him - It was a special one off Sanger hull and it was in my contract with Sanger that I destroy it when I was done so the other boat builders couldn't get ahold of it.
Final note - When my wife passed through the garage she obviously heard some of this and knowing better herself threw me a life line. Came back out, handed me my phone and said it just rang didn't know if you need to answer it. As I'm looking at the call log and noting NO calls in the last hour, it rings! It's my home number calling me and the wife saying, "Tell your new friend you have to go now" all the while, she's cracking up. I managed to say "Hold on just a second" and tell the guy to email us the estimate, I have to take this call. Thanks, Honey!!
Oh, and I think we'll be getting other estimates and NOT have the garage door open.
Him - Is that the Canadian Nova? (I swear!)
*In his defense, the roof and all windows were covered by the car cover*
Me - Nope. That's a 69 Dart.
Him - Cool! My Dad bought a new one in 70 with a Hemi.
Me - What?? A Dart?? I thought the Hemi Dart was a 68 only deal.
Him - They were supposed to be, but my Dad knew a VP at Dodge and they built one for him and his friend.
Me - (How do you respond to that?) I just said, keeping a straight face: Wow that's a very rare car and has to be worth major bucks.
Him - Yep. Dad wrecked his and we junked it and his friend sold his to a guy in Japan around 1980. Sold for right at a quarter mil. My Dad was not very happy knowing that he should have salvaged his.
Him - I used to do the speed thing, too only in a boat.
Me - Oh yea, a drag boat? (WHY would I ask that...really???)
Him - Yessir. A real nice, custom Pickle Fork. Built a small block Chevy for it though. I wanted to build a Hemi, but they're just too damn heavy.
Me - (Wanting out of this conversation without being rude) Yea, those small block Chevies are hard to beat for cost.
Him - Chuckles and says, Cost?? I have over $25K in that motor! I still have it even though I don't have the boat any more.
Me - Wow! That's one high $$ Chevvvvy.
Him - It was worth every penny. Made over 700 HP.
*Now I'm thinking maybe I underestimated the guy and he's just Mopar limited. Turns out no, he's just limited period.*
Me - How big is that small block?
Him - Wait for it....wait for it...
It's a 327 out of a Corvette.
Me - (Stunned) Wow...what heads and cam? (oh please make him go away)
Him - It's got trimmed (what the heck is that?), shaved and ported Fuelie heads and a...wait for it again...full roller 3/4 race cam. Oh and special titanium valves and pistons.
*I swear he's saying this all with a straight face*
Then he goes on to say, the boat was a record holder at over 160 MPH. But then he retired, pulled the motor and cut up the boat...
Me - Why did you cut up a perfectly good boat hull?
Him - It was a special one off Sanger hull and it was in my contract with Sanger that I destroy it when I was done so the other boat builders couldn't get ahold of it.
Final note - When my wife passed through the garage she obviously heard some of this and knowing better herself threw me a life line. Came back out, handed me my phone and said it just rang didn't know if you need to answer it. As I'm looking at the call log and noting NO calls in the last hour, it rings! It's my home number calling me and the wife saying, "Tell your new friend you have to go now" all the while, she's cracking up. I managed to say "Hold on just a second" and tell the guy to email us the estimate, I have to take this call. Thanks, Honey!!
Oh, and I think we'll be getting other estimates and NOT have the garage door open.
If I went on a fishing trip and told THAT story, I'd NEVER catch a thing (even the FISH would NOT believe it!) and/or I would be TOSSED overboard like CHUM!! 
Isn't there some sort of insecticide for them 
, But where i get them is i say "cool", sooooooo what was your MPH in the 1/4 
, Then i get 
, Or the all famous "my engine has 900 HP at the wheels" but yet there bumming a cigarette from me 
.
