Moparts
"DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES
Posted By: HEMIFRED
"DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 01:23 AM
I start this thread every off season for a bit of humor and perhaps some enlightenment.
when you make a major adjustment to your seat position
be sure to check it wearing your full suit and helmet .
Don't wait until your at the track and
learn you cannot in anyway possible get your helmet on your head.
maybe you can share a story of your own?
The only request for the humor is to end your tale with
"DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW"
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 01:27 AM
one week later
make sure your new removeable Lexan driver's window is not still at home on the work bench when you get to the track
"DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW"
Posted By: emarine01
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 02:25 AM
When you ask your son if he put fuel in the truck.... remember to ask which truck
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 04:00 AM
Posted By: Anonymous
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 04:20 AM
When cutting a piece of aluminum don't grab the small piece with out gloves on, don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: sixpackgut
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 04:59 AM
dont throw the jegs box that has your new seatbelts in the pile of other jegs boxes with the intent of installing the $160 seatbelts sometime before you leave for drag week then realize you never installed said seatbelts 22 hours before tech DAMHIK
Posted By: 70Cuda383
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:08 AM
Quote:
Over 100 views and one reply ??
must be a bunch of ultra embarrasing tales untold here 
Na. we've just all learned from yours and others mistakes after reading these DAMHIK threads over the years.
nobody is doing anything embarrassing anymore!
When installing a new cam, be sure that you have ALL the old oil cleaned off the crank gear, so that you don't mistake the circle for the dot and end up with your cam 30° advanced.
Don't Ask Me How I Know
Posted By: Thumperdart
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:12 AM
Don`t forget to tighten the return hose on your fuel cell before starting the car and saying(4-gallons later
)I sure do smell a lot of gas for some reason "Don`t ask me how I know"...............good thing I don`t smoke.
Posted By: b1dartsport
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:50 AM
Don't pull over on the Pennsylvania Turnpike 1 mi. before the State Police Barracks
at 1am coming home from a race because some wus just can't wait to take a leak any longer. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 07:43 AM
Quote:
Na. we've just all learned from yours and others mistakes after reading these DAMHIK threads over the years.
nobody is doing anything embarrassing anymore!
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS ONE
Quote:
got a new one...
never ever break the first rule of engine building...mock up and measure everything twice before final machine work/balancing. or you might find out that pistons advertised as having a .050" dome and expected to stick up .030-.040 past the deck on an uncut block, actually stick up above the deck .083" and then find out that the piston manufacturer changed the piston 3 years ago, but never changed the online description/specs, etc.
DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW!
Posted By: rebel
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:15 AM
make sure you've connected the external oil lines to the -1 head before opening the accumulator to pre oil the rocker gear, especially when your assistant has his head up close looking for signs of oil.
ask me how i know lol 
Posted By: JD Dart
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:28 AM
Before you install that new gauge you ordered to match the old ones make sure it actually matches before giving the box to your dog because he loves to tear things up. Now you cannot return it.
Posted By: Shoozy
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:47 AM
Make sure that after you repair the nail hole in your trailer spare (Chevy bolt pattern) that you remember to return said spare to the trailer before your next nail hole occurs towing home at 2AM (because your Dodge truck spare won't fit)...don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: domingo
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 11:45 AM
Pay attention when testing your electric fans and watch what you are going at all times, to avoid sticking a thumb in it and lifting ALL the flesh over your nail off. DAHMHIK
Posted By: dvw
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 12:21 PM
Don't wiggle the fire bottle brackets down onto the bottle with the safety pin out. Also don't mistake the oil accumulator switch for the on/off switch with no oil pressure gauge line connected. Don't ask how I know.
Doug
Posted By: tboomer
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 02:22 PM
OK,Fred! I will play...Don't get caught up in the hype of what everyone else is doing or buying..Nuff said!!
Posted By: Crizila
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 02:40 PM
Don't forget to screw on an oil filter before priming your new motor or - how to empty an 8 Qt oil pan in less than 15 seconds - or how to lube your new tennies for life. Don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: bonefish
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 02:58 PM
dont forget to put the PV plugs back in your 1050 dommy then turn on your elect fuel pump and let it run while you answer a phone call and then try to start the car.damhik.
Posted By: MR_P_BODY
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 03:16 PM
Quote:
dont forget to put the PV plugs back in your 1050 dommy then turn on your elect fuel pump and let it run while you answer a phone call and then try to start the car.damhik.
LOL.... that had to hurt
Posted By: Oyvind Mopar
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 03:53 PM
Assuming adjustable Milodon oilpump relief valve is correctly set, then fire up and with 120++ psi the oilfilter warps and dumps sticky oil all over the carpeted garage floor and primes the shiny Hemi with dust adhesive....And with the Schumacher mounts and headers it is almost unaccessible to adjust ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!
Posted By: slippery440
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 03:58 PM
Here is one that everyone has done. Do not look down the carburator at the gas going in when the motor has not been timed.
Posted By: Just-a-dart
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 04:07 PM
Don't leave your trailer keys at home and tow to the track. Had to barrow a grinder from a buddy and remove pad locks from the ramp door to go play.
Posted By: speedy383
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 04:49 PM
After cleaning oil pan ,dont get distracted and leave a towel in the pan,,same applies to under manifold and inside manifold,Guess i have a hard time keeping up with my rags,
Posted By: HemiDart68
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:03 PM
Household one. If you are working under the kitchen sink, and remove the entire drain plumbling, don't use that same sink to wash your hands. makes quite the mess.
Posted By: John_Kunkel
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:19 PM
After unsuccessfully trying to start an engine with lots of ether starting fluid don't cut into the exhaust pipe with an acetylene torch. DAMHIK
Posted By: Crizila
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:23 PM
Quote:
Here is one that everyone has done. Do not look down the carburator at the gas going in when the motor has not been timed.
or when someone else installed the plug wires ( a Ford guy inparticular ).
Posted By: hemiparts
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 05:28 PM
"
NEVER take a winner's circle picture with HemiFred standing behind you so you can't see what he's doing..." Don't ask me how I know
Posted By: Dragula
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 06:27 PM
Dont ask where the air filter nut is after the 10.0 pass I just made and pulled into the pits, and lifted the hood to find the air cleaner sitting next to the engine...Just pull the carb and get the dang thing out of there!
Posted By: Adobedude
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 07:46 PM
Quote:
Before you install that new gauge you ordered to match the old ones make sure it actually matches before giving the box to your dog because he loves to tear things up. Now you cannot return it.
Don't bring elecrical connectors into the house and leave them where your Beagle can get to it....You'll never figure out where it goes after it's been chewed to #&%$ and the result can cause years of embarrassement.
DAMHIK.
Posted By: Troy
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 07:49 PM
Quote:
After unsuccessfully trying to start an engine with lots of ether starting fluid don't cut into the exhaust pipe with an acetylene torch. DAMHIK
OH SH!! That is a good one.
Don't tell ANYBODY where that long lost Hemi car is hiding.
Posted By: sshemi
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 07:58 PM
Do not trust two mech oil pressure gauges showing low oil pressure when you blow up 3 moroso race oil filters.
Dont ask me how i know it.
Posted By: sshemi
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:02 PM
Do not take your tranny down cause the hyd release bearing dont work when you have mixed up the pressure line and bleeder line.
Dont ask me how i know it.
Posted By: sshemi
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:04 PM
Do not forget that you have switched to a rev pattern valve body when nailing it.
Dont ask me how i know it.
Posted By: Randy514
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:37 PM
Dont leave the keys for the race-car home in the garage! Lucky we were close to home!
Dont forget to re-install the cap on the in trunk fuel cel. I knew I screwed up when the boy left the starting line and purple fluid was shooting out of every nook and cranny of the trunk. He said "I think we have a fuel leak I smell fuel"
Dont drive an hour to race and forget your drivers license!! The tech inspector did accept a texted message picture of the license :-)
Posted By: BBR
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 08:41 PM
If you forget to install a PV in a carb, no matter how much you monkey with the idle mixture screws, it won't run right....at all.
DAMHIK.
Posted By: justintyme
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:03 PM
After you've installed your first camshaft, and invited your buddy with the Degree wheel and dial indicator over to degree it, don't button it up and assume he tightened the cam bolt back up after advancing it 4 degrees. 16 valves slapping 8 pistons makes a terrible noise, DAMHIK
Posted By: jyrki
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:37 PM
When adjusting suspension, don't try with your forefinger wether the bolt hole is in line when twisting the bars with a pry bar; the handle might slip....
The positive side of the case is, that now I propably know how they invented guillotine.
Posted By: cudadoug
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:40 PM
Quote:
Don't leave your trailer keys at home and tow to the track. Had to barrow a grinder from a buddy and remove pad locks from the ramp door to go play.
HAHAHAHA! I'll see you and raise you...
Don't, DO NOT drive the 70 miles from your girlfriends house to your shop to load up and go racing...only to FORGET the shop/trailer/truck keys. PLEASE...don't ask me how I know.
Posted By: cudadoug
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:47 PM
One more that's semi race related (involving a boat on the trailer)...
Don't back it in the drive way and raise the jack to get it off of the ball...
...and get interupted by a land line phone call...
...then get distracted in the house and then realize you're late to pick up your wife...
...and you jump in the truck ASSuming you unhooked the safety chains and light cord...
See, as you drive away in a hurry the noise will get your attention in a hurry.
I bet you now know how I know, don't cha?
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 10:51 PM
Quote:
OK,Fred! I will play...Don't get caught up in the hype of what everyone else is doing or buying..Nuff said!!
Ted, put like that might be just as helpful as any other thread seen here 
Posted By: BigBlockMopar
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 11:07 PM
Many while ago, on a GM-car...
When swapping a radiator in your car, outside, in the near freezing winter cold, don't first disconnect the transmission coolinglines, and then decide it's a good idea to run the engine for a while to put some heat in the radiator, so your hands won't go numb from the cold...!
DAMHIK...
Posted By: Leon441
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/07/13 11:09 PM
Quote:
Don't leave your trailer keys at home and tow to the track. Had to barrow a grinder from a buddy and remove pad locks from the ramp door to go play.
Done that at a rewards banquet at the end of the season.
Posted By: slippery440
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 12:19 AM
Quote:
Household one. If you are working under the kitchen sink, and remove the entire drain plumbling, don't use that same sink to wash your hands. makes quite the mess.
I don't feel so much like a idiot now!!! I did that.
Posted By: dvw
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 12:33 AM
Don't leave the reaction shaft support bolts loose when your wife calls you into dinner. I even left Five sticking out and one threaded in flush so I wouldn't forget. Don't ask.
Doug
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 12:53 AM
this is getting real good.
Posted By: BB73Challenger
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 01:12 AM
When finishing your new gas tank install make sure the lock ring that seals the fuel sending unit into said tank is tight BEFORE taking it on up to the station to top her off.
Hey... what is that noise like running water?
DAMHIK
Posted By: HEMIFRED
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 01:35 AM
When you get new beadlocks and use a tube make sure the hole in the wheel is the right size and does not cut the valve stem
] "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW"
Posted By: 493_DART
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 02:29 AM
If you are driving 2 hrs to the track at 7am and there are no bathrooms for 40 miles.......... do NOT stay up until 2am the night before drinking cheap beers and eating Hot Pockets......
Posted By: 493_DART
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 02:31 AM
Before you remove your 727 , make sure you remove ALL 4 of your flexplate bolts......
( " what the F is holding this Fn thing in ???!! " )
Posted By: oldiron
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 03:23 AM
one bolt turned in 3 threads does not hold a 22lb steel flywheel on to a crank with a loose register and the engine tilted back.
a 22lb flywheel that falls from 5 1/2 ft. has sufficient force to cut a live air hose cleanly into 2 sections and still have enough energy to take an egg sized bit of concrete out of a concrete floor and still have enough energy to move the ring gear
live air hoses cut into 2 sections seem to have a life of their own
when kicking a flywheel, the flywheel wins
Posted By: kens avenger
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 05:53 AM
Quote:
dont forget to put the PV plugs back in your 1050 dommy then turn on your elect fuel pump and let it run while you answer a phone call and then try to start the car.damhik.
Another fire???? call me sometime AJ..same ###
Posted By: bill_greenwood
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 06:24 AM
Even though you towed it two miles home from the storage compound ALWAYS make sure the trailer ball is latched before you drive your car up the ramps.
Posted By: bonefish
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 01:12 PM
Quote:
Even though you towed it two miles home from the storage compound ALWAYS make sure the trailer ball is latched before you drive your car up the ramps.
so, im not alone?
Posted By: MR_P_BODY
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 03:27 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Even though you towed it two miles home from the storage compound ALWAYS make sure the trailer ball is latched before you drive your car up the ramps.
so, im not alone?
My buddy did the same thing BUT with the tailgate down
on his pick up... the force of the tongue going UP
has PLENTY of force to close said tailgate(and much more)
and it WILL leave a MASSIVE DENT in said tailgate
DAMHIK
Posted By: 70Cuda383
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/08/13 04:50 PM
Quote:
Quote:
Na. we've just all learned from yours and others mistakes after reading these DAMHIK threads over the years.
nobody is doing anything embarrassing anymore!
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS ONE
Quote:
got a new one...
never ever break the first rule of engine building...mock up and measure everything twice before final machine work/balancing. or you might find out that pistons advertised as having a .050" dome and expected to stick up .030-.040 past the deck on an uncut block, actually stick up above the deck .083" and then find out that the piston manufacturer changed the piston 3 years ago, but never changed the online description/specs, etc.
DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW!
yup. I had already made the timing chain mistake when I posted that one, but hadn't discovered it yet because that engine wasn't started till a few months later. I was building both those engines at the same time
Posted By: Dodgem
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/09/13 03:06 PM
Quote:
Don't leave the reaction shaft support bolts loose when your wife calls you into dinner. I even left Five sticking out and one threaded in flush so I wouldn't forget. Don't ask.
Doug
Hmmm??? That reminds me of A guy I know put them finger tight then started across the garage to get a 6 point socket he liked to tighten them then thought I'll go pee first then played on the computer while in the house. went back to the garage assembled the tranny and into the car, into the trailer to the track to tech and back call for first TT and car no moves no more!
Posted By: Oyvind Mopar
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/09/13 03:51 PM
A loooong time ago, I decided my 58 Plymouth deserved an inside hood release, so I started dismantling the outside part to modify it. Went well, but I lacked the wire. Well, bought the wire later and did some more repairs/modifications to the car. This was in the fall. Then we had a long cold winter, and me as a youngster took the car for a first great testride when spring came. Guess what I forgot..... Luckily the 58 Plymouth has an extended roof so the hood took it all. Almost crashed when it blew open at 55 mph, but was saved by brakes dragging to the right....away from the meeting cars. A friend of mine heard the whole thing, and wondered why he heard a bang first, then squeeking tires. Kinda opposite of expected.....
Me fool? Oh yeah...
Posted By: Leon441
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/10/13 12:39 AM
Buy engine parts from a well known racer and not check everything you can.
At least check thrust easy enough if a dial indicator is around but, didn't.
Start swapping pistons and see wear on 1,3,5,&7 rod bearing but 2,4,6,8 are OK. So start ordering bearings without any more thought.
Then decided to check thrust well .010 can be too much if 1,3,5,&7 rod bearings are worn.
Don't ask me how I know.
But, when you remove the thrust bearing for inspection guess what side is worn.
Don't ask me how I know.
But, it would be the transmission side.
Luckily I have seen the thrust issue before on some one elses engine who could say.,
Don't ask me how I know.
They were not so lucky as they ran it for more than one pass and needed a crank.
Leon
Posted By: RapidusMaximus
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/10/13 06:37 PM
The pretty...clean...white towel that you put over the lifter vally to keep random junk out while waiting to install the valley pan...should be removed PRIOR to installing said valley pan...don't ask me how I know...just for the record, it stayed in there until I had to change the valley pan for other reasons and SURPRISE...first thought was WOW, how did that get in there!!!!
Posted By: Commando1
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/11/13 03:10 PM
Don't retalliate to a mod's comment with "stop flapping your pie hole". DAMHIK..........
Posted By: Jeepmon
Re: "DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW" 2013 STORIES - 02/19/13 07:53 PM
This one pizzed me off..
Dont drill an innocent screw hole in the plastic fan shroud while its sitting on the radiator..
DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW!!!