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Been awhile since we had a relationship topic..........

Posted By: SattyNoCar

Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 01:55 AM


This falls under the category of 'what would you do'.

I made my choice and chose incorrectly, so, no changing that.

This past year, I was dealing with my (73 yr old) Mom and her health issues that (literally) almost killed her and ultimately ended up with her having surgery to remove a grapefruit sized tumor.

She had to have a c-section to remove it. C-sections are hard enough on young women.

Less than two weeks later, while she was recovering at home (senior apt), Hurricane Harvey came to town, not so much wind as a LOT of rain.

I chose to stay with her. Aside from being more comfortable in her own place, medical treatment would have been more accessible from her place then mine.

Back at my place was my wife, her father, and a friend of hers that was renting a room. With my Mom and I, it would have been 5 adults, three dogs and one cat and two beds between us all.

We live about a mile apart, but during and after the storm, we were separated by flooded streets. Both places took on some water, but nothing extreme.

Since Harvey has passed thru, I have not heard the end of it from my wife how I abandoned her during a crises......

She filed divorce on me this week. I have until the end of the month to get out (house is in her name).

Looks like my wagon is going on the block.

So, am I the uncaring jerk my wife makes me out to be? shruggy

popcorn
Posted By: 6T6Cuda

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:15 AM

Not sure what to do, but some light hearted imagery...

Attached picture IMG_20171225_111758_01.jpg
Posted By: amxautox

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:20 AM

Get rid of the broad, live alone for awhile, MAYBE find a good woman down the road somewhere, sometime.
Posted By: moparjim79

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:22 AM

Sorry to hear this, but brother, I think this has been in the works for a while now, and she was looking for an excuse to spring it on you. You gave her one.
Posted By: DAYCLONA

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:28 AM

While the "door" is open, take advantage of this golden opportunity presented to you!
Posted By: coronetgirl

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:45 AM

You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.
Posted By: skicker

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:50 AM

Originally Posted By DAYCLONA
While the "door" is open, take advantage of this golden opportunity presented to you!


I gotta agree with Dayclona...Its not a door closing on a chapter of your life its a new one opening. One where you have control over your happiness...not someone else...
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:54 AM

Originally Posted By coronetgirl
You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.


My thoughts exactly.

Actually, what has me upset more so than the divorce is that since Oct. I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.

Had I known then what I know now....... frowwn
Posted By: madscientist

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 02:57 AM

Wow. Your wife is very selfish. I just let my wife read this. My wife in on your side. You did the right thing.

You wife has issues.
Posted By: Iowan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 03:03 AM

she was going to do it storm or not, I've got PTSD from 20 years of my ex. She had to go, I'm 59 divorced and happy.
Posted By: Lee446

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 03:05 AM

I will give you my take, it is better that you found out now, rather than later. If you were the one to get sick later in life, odds are, you would have woke up one morning to find that you had been abandoned. You should be proud to be one of the few that stood up and did the RIGHT THING by taking care of your sick mother! You have my respect, you are a rare person in these times. The pain will eventually go away, but for the rest of your life, you will always know, that when things went south, you stepped up to the plate and did the morally correct thing. Your wife can never say that. "Many are called, but few are chosen". Best of luck!
Posted By: Orange_Crush

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 04:22 AM

This has been in the works for a while. She was just looking for an excuse. It sucks.
Posted By: mopars4ever

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 04:24 AM

Quote:
I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.
Ask for it back as part of the divorce settlement.
Posted By: That AMC Guy

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 05:08 AM

Originally Posted By mopars4ever
Quote:
I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.
Ask for it back as part of the divorce settlement.


Ask for it ALL back, plus 50% of the houses' current value. B*tch gonna PAY.

I'm sorry, but I read that and I can't believe your wife would even think of pulling this. Did she say anything prior to the Hurricane? Did you see any of this coming? If not, then she's being a selfish bint and is probably shtupping somebody on the side. (Women generally don't leave their men unless they have somebody else set up - it's just how they operate). Using the hurricane as an excuse is just low and a prime example of how unethical many women can be. (not all, but a fair percentage)

If you are going to sell your wagon, sell it to a friend for $1 who can store it for you and will let you buy it back when all the ink is dry. Don't waste a cool car over a woman. As you've seen, they're simply not worth it.

While it pains me to hear of a marriage ending and I sympathize with you (no kids involved, are there?) but from the information you've given here.... it's going to be for the better.

Any woman that isn't OK with her man looking after momma ain't no woman at all.

Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 06:36 AM


The tough pill to swallow is admitting seeing the red flags the whole time and just ignoring them. No one to blame for that but myself. Things have been tense (especially) as of late due to what I said and other things out of our control, but I wasn't expecting divorce.

And, no, she doesn't have a side guy.

Thanks everyone.
Posted By: Guitar Jones

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 10:39 AM

Wow, just wow. Sorry for your troubles but I have to agree with others here, be glad you are getting out now.
Posted By: Shoozy

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 11:43 AM

Originally Posted By Lee446
I will give you my take, it is better that you found out now, rather than later. If you were the one to get sick later in life, odds are, you would have woke up one morning to find that you had been abandoned. You should be proud to be one of the few that stood up and did the RIGHT THING by taking care of your sick mother! You have my respect, you are a rare person in these times. The pain will eventually go away, but for the rest of your life, you will always know, that when things went south, you stepped up to the plate and did the morally correct thing. Your wife can never say that. "Many are called, but few are chosen". Best of luck!


Well said. Best of luck, hope you get what you should out of this
Posted By: DirectSubjection

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 03:06 PM

You only get one mom
Posted By: Exit1965

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 03:57 PM

Originally Posted By moparjim79
Sorry to hear this, but brother, I think this has been in the works for a while now, and she was looking for an excuse to spring it on you. You gave her one.


Yep.

Unless this situation was misrepresented by the OP .. what loving wife wouldn't understand a man wanting to be with his ailing mother.. then right, this was just a convenient excuse and it was going to happen sooner or later. Best to get it over with and try to move on.
Posted By: Rhinodart

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 04:21 PM

Good luck, my starter wife of 35 years is taking care of her 90 year old mom at our house. She has been there for almost 2 years now and my wife is still hanging in there, she is truly the wifegod! As said above, don't give your car away, do what you can to keep it and don't worry, it is all up hill from here! penguin
Posted By: 340Cuda

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 04:50 PM

You did nothing wrong.

Sounds like her filing was a blessing.

Get a good lawyer.

Keep the wagon.

Good Luck, your life is going to get better.
Posted By: DaytonaTurbo

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 04:55 PM

Sorry to hear things aren't working out. I agree with the others, the storm had nothing to do with it, just an excuse. If anything, she was happier to have her dad there if she was already feeling done with you.

I would squirrel the wagon away somewhere. There's not a lot of value there on paper so to her financially it's small potatoes compared to when you're going to come after her for half the current value of the house.
Posted By: mopars4ever

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 05:10 PM

As far as the car, I guess it depends on whether you need the money from the sale of the car to pay bills or not. If not, then I would try to keep it. If you need the money then it`s only a car. Life is more important.
Posted By: chargervert

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 05:39 PM

God made about 3 billion women, so if that one does not work out for you, there are plenty more to choose from!
Posted By: moparjim79

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 06:04 PM

BTW- I have not only heard of, but met an individual whose wife did something similar. He actually got his then wife a court order to pay for all legal proceedings, and wound up getting SUPPORT ON TOP OF THAT....This individual was gainfully employed, the judge saw right through her garbage story and it ended, what I would consider fairly, they had to split everything down the middle once done.

A lot of us have already gone through this, just keep looking ahead, move past the fact you blew all your money on the house, you will get it back eventually. Life is too short, make sure you pay attention to whats going on, remember it, learn from it, apply to the rest of your days. Good job taking care of mom too.
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 06:15 PM


With the wagon, its not so much needing money, its more the fact that I won't have a place to work on it as I'm sure I will need to go into an apartment. I used to rent storage spaces, but with how much rent alone coasts now.... eek.... that's not an option.


popcorn
Posted By: pushbutton

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 06:25 PM

Originally Posted By chargervert
God made about 3 billion women, so if that one does not work out for you, there are plenty more to choose from!


But as stated above. You only get one Mom. Hang in there and keep the wagon.
Posted By: dart4forte

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 06:37 PM

Originally Posted By RamblerMan
Originally Posted By mopars4ever
Quote:
I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.
Ask for it back as part of the divorce settlement.


Ask for it ALL back, plus 50% of the houses' current value. B*tch gonna PAY.

I'm sorry, but I read that and I can't believe your wife would even think of pulling this. Did she say anything prior to the Hurricane? Did you see any of this coming? If not, then she's being a selfish bint and is probably shtupping somebody on the side. (Women generally don't leave their men unless they have somebody else set up - it's just how they operate). Using the hurricane as an excuse is just low and a prime example of how unethical many women can be. (not all, but a fair percentage)

If you are going to sell your wagon, sell it to a friend for $1 who can store it for you and will let you buy it back when all the ink is dry. Don't waste a cool car over a woman. As you've seen, they're simply not worth it.

While it pains me to hear of a marriage ending and I sympathize with you (no kids involved, are there?) but from the information you've given here.... it's going to be for the better.

Any woman that isn't OK with her man looking after momma ain't no woman at all.




Ill give you $20 for that hunk of junk(not your wife). I can keep it here in sunny Arizona.
Posted By: chargervert

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 07:56 PM

You just need to find a place to stash the car.
Posted By: Guitar Jones

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 08:03 PM

Originally Posted By chargervert
God made about 3 billion women...


And He knows I've tried, but have fallen short of the mark. laugh2
Posted By: Rhinodart

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 08:29 PM

Yeah, but only about .0005% of those 3 billion are worth a damn... tsk

Besides, you must incorporate the Crazy to Hotness matrix. whistling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk
Posted By: RSNOMO

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 08:32 PM

You enter this world, you're setting yourself up for the fall...

One out of two fail, and more often than not, the man gets jacked...

As has been proven countless times, it can change with the drop of a hat...


Learn from it...


And choose your moves carefully...

Attached picture ladies_rings.jpg
Posted By: Jwilli500

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 08:49 PM

How long were you married?
Posted By: amxautox

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 08:57 PM

too long
Posted By: skicker

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/08/18 09:35 PM

Originally Posted By Rhinodart


Besides, you must incorporate the Crazy to Hotness matrix. whistling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk


I was waiting for that to show up... bow
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 02:08 AM

Originally Posted By skicker
Originally Posted By Rhinodart


Besides, you must incorporate the Crazy to Hotness matrix. whistling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwbKYcBdVyk


I was waiting for that to show up... bow


I've (obviously) never seen that before, that was great! thumbs

We met in 2003, didn't get serious until 2006 and married on 2009 (delayed by hurricane IKE, maybe the gods were trying to tell me something?). No kids, just two dogs. As much as I love 'em, they are her dogs and I have no desire to keep them.

I've got an idea for something where I can turn this into a big positive for myself... work nervous beer
Posted By: f8-4life

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 02:45 AM

I just read your initial post and not the whole thread.
I think you were within reason given the circumstances and your wife seems to lack understanding of your situation, and this is some proof that she is a somewhat unconsideret and apparently a selfish person.


Posted By: DAYCLONA

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 06:49 AM

[quote=Rhinodart]Yeah, but only about .0005% of those 3 billion are worth a damn... tsk




I think your over estimating that percentage...
Posted By: slantzilla

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 09:28 AM

Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........
Posted By: justinp61

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 10:25 AM

Originally Posted By DirectSubjection
You only get one mom


iagree I have two brothers that I fix stuff for from time to time, mostly welding. Shortly after my wife and I married she started complaining about it. After several episodes of her complaining I explained that if she and I divorced they would still be my brothers. It hasn't been mentioned since.
Posted By: Hugh Jorgan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 04:09 PM

Originally Posted By slantzilla
Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........




Waste of money and time. Cut and run.
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 05:01 PM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By slantzilla
Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........




Waste of money and time. Cut and run.


My job offers a program for legal services at discount. I'm paying for it, might as well use it.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 05:20 PM

Was the house purchased by the two you or did she own it before the two of you ere married? Either way make sure you go for 50% of everything. So sad that people just don't want to bother making an all effort at making the marriage vows work. Laugh in her face and tell her "See ya in court". Good luck.
Posted By: Hugh Jorgan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 08:08 PM

Originally Posted By Satilite73
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By slantzilla
Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........




Waste of money and time. Cut and run.


My job offers a program for legal services at discount. I'm paying for it, might as well use it.




If there are no kids involved, it is a waste of time. More than likely you will get a crap lawyer that's just going through the motions and a female judge. Your old lady breaks out the crocodile tears in court and it all gets tossed out.

Look at it like this...however bad it turned out in your relationship, it could have been WORSE. Reel in your line and re-cast. Lots of furry clams...er...I mean fish in the pond.
Posted By: RSNOMO

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 08:26 PM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Look at it like this...however bad it turned out in your relationship, it could have been WORSE. Reel in your line and re-cast. Lots of furry clams...er...I mean fish in the pond.



(And make the next time BETTER...

Make the ring finger on your left hand a 'ring-free' zone...
Posted By: Hugh Jorgan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/11/18 09:23 PM

Originally Posted By RS23U1G
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Look at it like this...however bad it turned out in your relationship, it could have been WORSE. Reel in your line and re-cast. Lots of furry clams...er...I mean fish in the pond.



(And make the next time BETTER...





Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.
Posted By: feets

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 03:24 AM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.
Posted By: Hugh Jorgan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 03:40 AM

Originally Posted By feets
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.



I've bought my fair share. Nothing wrong with a rental.
Posted By: RoadRunnerLuva

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 04:14 AM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By feets
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.



I've bought my fair share. Nothing wrong with a rental.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonlite_BunnyRanch whistling
Posted By: QuickDodge

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 04:54 PM

"My job offers a program for legal services at discount. I'm paying for it, might as well use it."



It would be wise to investigate the lawyer. My wife's former job had a legal services plan. We used the legal help on several occasions over the years. The first time we had a great lawyer. The second time was on the purchase of a home. That lawyer was OK. The final time we used the legal service plan was for selling the home. That lawyer was about the definition of worthless!! She was a recent graduate from law school and had the maturity of a 12 year old!

It sounds like your primary risk may be alimony payments. You need to find out how divorce is handled in your state. If you will be paying alimony, you probably should take as many assets as possible when leaving.
Posted By: Guitar Jones

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 06:05 PM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By feets
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.



I've bought my fair share. Nothing wrong with a rental.


You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you can get that from most any woman. You pay them to go away afterwards.
Posted By: ruderunner

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 06:19 PM

Damn, coffee hurts coming out of your nose...
Posted By: justinp61

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 07:44 PM

Originally Posted By Guitar Jones
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By feets
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.



I've bought my fair share. Nothing wrong with a rental.


You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you can get that from most any woman. You pay them to go away afterwards.


You pay a hooker up front, you pay an ex wife at the end.
Posted By: RSNOMO

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 07:56 PM

Originally Posted By justinp61
you pay an ex wife at the end.



The 'payment plan' regarding a wife starts REAL early...

Attached picture 213ca91e9dd995a6a7676d8605911a65--unique-wedding-rings-beautiful-engagement-rings.jpg
Posted By: amxautox

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/12/18 09:35 PM

Originally Posted By Guitar Jones
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By feets
Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan

Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, good luck with that in today's times.
Since you're gonna pay to play, try short-term payment instead of long term. JMHO.


I suppose you prefer to rent, not buy.



I've bought my fair share. Nothing wrong with a rental.


You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you can get that from most any woman. You pay them to go away afterwards.
haha haha haha haha


up thumbs

boogie
Posted By: yorker

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 04:34 AM

Johnny: I was worried about you as you have not posted lately. I belive YOU do own half the house and everything else, no matter whose name it is in.
Yeah, it was not about you taking care of your mother. She must have been planning it for a long time.
My ex just was crazy and wanted a life away from me. We are just seperated, but really it has been emotional divorce for many years now.
She still owns half the house. At some point my ex eventually will want to " Cash " out, and I will have to leave my home of 40 years.
Perhaps you could say your wife is mentally unstable and delay the divorce?
Most all women I have seen or known are crazy.
I know you dont have much income. I know where a indoor storage place is for about 85=90.00
Try to keep your head up.
Don;t drink to much.
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 05:02 AM


Thanks for the words of support yorker. Every once in awhile you are on point. biggrin

I consult with a lawyer tomorrow. With this lawyer, the response I got after speaking briefly on the phone was "I need to see you ASAP, will tomorrow work for you?". shock nervous

Treading carefully here.

I guess my Wife didn't think I'd pursue one as when I told her tonight, she got upset. work

As for drinking, no worries there. I don't drink. Never have, never will (not even socially).

I found warehouse space close to my job where I could not only keep my wagon, but I could work on it too for $250-$300 a month. If I'm gonna throw away money, I'd rather it be somewhere I can at least turn a wrench and not just have it sit.

beer
Posted By: justinp61

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 07:00 AM

Originally Posted By RS23U1G
Originally Posted By justinp61
you pay an ex wife at the end.



The 'payment plan' regarding a wife starts REAL early...


What was it that P.T. Barnum said?
Posted By: dsd70bee

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 08:32 AM

I believe that there are many women in today's world that as they are walking down the isle on their wedding day they already have their divorce planned out.
Posted By: QuickDodge

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 03:50 PM

Originally Posted By Satilite73


I consult with a lawyer tomorrow. With this lawyer, the response I got after speaking briefly on the phone was "I need to see you ASAP, will tomorrow work for you?". shock nervous

Treading carefully here.

I guess my Wife didn't think I'd pursue one as when I told her tonight, she got upset.





Why did you tell her ANYTHING? Confide in your lawyer, not your wife. Your wife is now your opponent, not your team mate.

You can be friendly with her, in a (very) superficial manner. In fact, that may be the best approach. Avoiding her when possible is ideal. You have a lot of stuff to deal with outside of your home. (Seeing your lawyer, opening a new bank account, looking for a place to live, etc. etc.) When you are around her, let her do nearly all of the talking. Being nasty toward her will just make the process worse. Just remember, ANYTHING you tell her may come back to bite you.
Posted By: ruderunner

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 04:10 PM

Civil but discreet.
Posted By: DaytonaTurbo

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 04:15 PM

Originally Posted By QuickDodge

Why did you tell her ANYTHING? Confide in your lawyer, not your wife. Your wife is now your opponent, not your team mate.


Agreed. That was stupid of you. Keep your mouth shut from here on out. If she confronts you, talk about your feelings and evade facts. I don't think committing to dumping $300/mo on warehouse space is in your best interests right now until you move into a new home and get settled. I would think about putting that extra money into renting a small house with a garage but at this point any of that is premature IMO.
Posted By: QuickDodge

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 05:40 PM

Satellite73, If you want to get your wife back, here is an idea that MAY work. I do not know your wife, so you have to use your own judgement. Of course, BEFORE you try this, TALK TO YOUR LAWYER!! Make certain this can NOT hurt you later in the divorce proceedings, if it does not get your wife back. In my state, adultery has essentially no weight in divorce court. In your state, it could be different.

My friend's wife left him. Within days of her moving out, he started dating other women. The new women were younger and more attractive than his wife. He did NOT tell his wife what he was doing. But he posted quite a few pictures of his dates on his Facebook page. (He posts on Facebook regularly, so this was perfectly normal for him.) He showed where they went and the fun they had together. He was happy and all smiles without his wife. I believe it was the third woman he posted, who was quite beautiful, that got his wife to call. She thought they should get back together. Apparently, she had grown quite jealous!! She wanted to hurt him by leaving, but he was having way to much fun to lose even a wink of sleep over her. He took her back and they are still together.

If you decide to try this and are not on facebook already, let some of her friends see you with your new date. The news will get back to her! Probably along with the pictures her friends took with their smart phones! But make certain, IN ADVANCE, that you will not be hurting yourself if the divorce does goes through. So, talk to your lawyer....TODAY!!!
Posted By: MarkZ

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 06:15 PM

Originally Posted By Satilite73

I guess my Wife didn't think I'd pursue one as when I told her tonight, she got upset. work


Divorce isn't something to be used as a negotiating tactic. It's akin to pressing the launch button and expecting the other party to then pull up a chair at the diplomacy table. Say you are able to patch things back together - this the kind of relationship you want?
Posted By: calmopar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 06:24 PM

Ugh, sorry. So much good info and insight above.

What she did was crappy and shows a lack of empathy that is troubling.

Your reality now is that she wants you out and wants a divorce.

Divorce is a civil procedure and you need a lawyer. Yes, you can proceed without one but it would not be in your best interest. Get a good one.

One thing we don't know here is what your relative incomes are. If she is pulling down more dough, there could be a surprise for her.

Also on the house - sure it is in her name, but did you contribute to the upkeep, upgrades, repairs, taxes, etc? You might be entitled to 50% of the appreciation of the house and maybe more. A good lawyer will suss that out for you - every state is different in that regard.

DO NOT share your plans with her. Your lawyer (when you get one) is your strategist - don't tip your hand to her and her lawyer.

I don't know how long you were married but I am sorry for the hurt and the inconvenience.

I was married 7 years and kicked my useless narcissist wife out after I had enough. It's tough on the kids, and tough on me not see the kids more than 50% of the time, but otherwise it's been a lifesaver.

I am happy to have that negativity out of my life - much less stressed over here. I also managed to keep ALL of my stuff. How? She didn't get a lawyer.
Posted By: RSNOMO

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 09:15 PM

Originally Posted By Satilite73
I guess my Wife didn't think I'd pursue one as when I told her tonight, she got upset. work




That's a good thing...

You got her attention...


Now, proceed...

And keep it under yer hat...


Go in it, to win it...
Posted By: amxautox

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/13/18 09:30 PM

Originally Posted By RS23U1G
Originally Posted By Satilite73
I guess my Wife didn't think I'd pursue one as when I told her tonight, she got upset. work




That's a good thing...

You got her attention...


Now, proceed...

And keep it under yer hat...


Go in it, to win it...
Yup, go to WIN!!! No holds barred. Go for the throat! Be MEAN about EVERYTHING!!! If she crys, GOOD, means you are getting to her, use the crying to YOUR advantage, such as, "Why didn't you cry when so and so happened?" and "You never liked my mother anyway". Be sure the court/judge knows and hears EVERYTHING!
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/14/18 04:36 AM


Well, the consult was interesting.

Being that this is a public site and not private, no real details will be given at this time.

I hope ya'll understand.

Thanks for the support everyone.
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/14/18 05:46 AM

Originally Posted By Hugh Jorgan
Originally Posted By slantzilla
Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........




Waste of money and time. Cut and run.


My cousin (well known family wise guy/know it all) went through with a divorce with no lawyer, "Nothing but crooks" I believe was his words. He was lucky he still had his pants when it was done.

Just sayin'.....
Posted By: slantzilla

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/14/18 07:22 AM

Pretty much all the guys I know who got screwed over in a divorce either had a cheap lawyer or no lawyer. You can get along fine that way if your soon to be ex doesn't want to fight, but if she does........
Posted By: basketcase

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 03/14/18 02:38 PM

Originally Posted By coronetgirl
You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.




THIS....and keep the wagon..or sell it to a trusted friend who will sell it back after your personal storm passes.And it doesn't sound like this was the first hurricane she's been thru, so it shouldn't have been that much of a big deal for her. Guaranteed if it had been HER Dad that had a tumor removed she would have been with him
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/19/18 06:47 PM


As of 9:30 AM June 19th, 2018, I am officially 240 lbs lighter.

While I consulted a lawyer, I didn't have one represent me at the hearing.

As per the decree I do not have a set time I have to vacate the property, so we're still under the same roof for the time being.

When we got back from the hearing, she cried some. No not about me, the reality of just how many more bills she's going to be taking on set in. She has to find a room mate or file bankruptcy.

My name is off all joint bills, so I'm not worried about it.

The bank did a hardship refinance on her car to get me off of it. They had to run the loan out almost 5 yrs to get the payment down, so she will being paying 9 yrs (total) for her 2014 Kia.

Finances are gonna be tight for me simply because I don't earn a lot, but, as of right now, aside from a student loan I'll always have, I have nothing but daily/monthly expenses.

Thanks everyone.

beer
Posted By: 3hundred

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/19/18 06:53 PM

Originally Posted By Satilite73
As per the decree I do not have a set time I have to vacate the property, so we're still under the same roof for the time being. beer


One last piece of advice, RUN FORREST RUN!

Robert
Posted By: ZIPPY

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/19/18 07:25 PM

John, Sorry to hear of the difficulties but sounds like you made as clean a break as anyone could ever have. Best wishes to you buddy. Rich
Posted By: dart4forte

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/19/18 09:41 PM

Texas is a community property state, which means that most property acquired during marriage belongs to both spouses and must be divided at divorce. In contrast, each spouse gets to keep his or her separate property when the marriage ends.


https://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas/txfaq02
Posted By: Kern Dog

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 12:29 AM

240 pounds????
Posted By: mills.mopar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 12:46 AM

Originally Posted By Frankenduster
240 pounds????


She was a big girl....
Posted By: StukaJU87

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 12:54 AM

Rosie?
Posted By: Iowan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 12:54 AM

Originally Posted By mills.mopar
Originally Posted By Frankenduster
240 pounds????


She was a big girl....


Bet she still is!
Posted By: I_bleed_MOPAR

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 01:45 AM

Sorry to hear it turned out this way, John.
Best of luck to you, buddy. up


Tim
Posted By: ruderunner

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 02:44 AM

I'm reasonably sure you still have feelings for her and her well being. And you should, you did spend a good portion of your lives together.

BUT,! Now it's over. Don't feel sorry for her, she got what she wanted. Sorry she now has to make a car payment and rent or house payment. But that's what she wanted.

Do Not feel sorry, don't help her. Sounds like she already has a roommate lined up to help pay the bills. If not maybe she should have stayed with the sure thing.

She made her bed, doesn't mean you have to lay in ur
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 03:09 AM

Originally Posted By Frankenduster
240 pounds????


I'm a C-body kinda guy..... whistling

This was something that played into the divorce. No, I never told her she HAD to lose weight 'or else' or anything remotely close to that.....her Doctor did that about 5 yrs ago.

She had the surgery, did GREAT for almost two years, then started spiraling out of control again. First it was eating crap again, then it was starting smoking again (which she claimed she hadn't smoked since H.S.). As of this writing, she's almost a chain smoker.

I have asthma. See the problem here?

So, she's put back on a majority of the weight, and she smokes on top of it too now. I'm more than willing to lend a help hand, a word of encouragement, but, it's gotta be up to YOU to actually do something.

Plus, I'm not 100% sure, but it looks like she's starting to drink too.

I'm not saying all this to imply I'm perfect, I'm not, I know it. I'm not in denial about it. But, when one person is constantly trying to better themselves, no matter how small, and the other has basically given up.....you have to draw the line somewhere.
Posted By: BleedDodge

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 04:25 AM

So much better to just be single anyway. Who can stand women anymore, and the games they play. Forget it. No thanks.
Posted By: Morty426

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 05:58 AM

Originally Posted By StukaJU87
Rosie?


42-39-56
Posted By: rowin4

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 06:41 AM

Divorce is the screwin you get from the screwing you got . Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Don't dwell on the past, look for opportunity in you future. Good luck , you'll be OK
Posted By: Iowan

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 08:31 AM

Divorce is hard no matter how smooth things go.
My ex is by far the nastiest person I ever known, but a after every thing was said and done I felt sorry for her. That lasted until the fist time I talked to her after court. Nasty was back.
Posted By: StukaJU87

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 09:40 AM

Originally Posted By Morty426
Originally Posted By StukaJU87
Rosie?


42-39-56


You could say she got it all
Posted By: Morty426

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/20/18 04:03 PM

Originally Posted By StukaJU87
Originally Posted By Morty426
Originally Posted By StukaJU87
Rosie?


42-39-56


You could say she got it all


laugh2
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/12/20 05:01 AM

TTT

Let’s see what Romeo or Sad Sack checks in now ! popcorn
Posted By: mopar97

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 06/12/20 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by slantzilla
Get yourself a great lawyer NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week. Find the most cut throat one you can, preferably a woman.

Trust me on this........

I second this.....
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/12/20 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by Doc Fiberglass..
TTT

Let’s see what Romeo or Sad Sack checks in now ! popcorn


While I don't care either way, how sad is it that someone has to pull up a post from 2 yrs ago to feel better about them selves? shruggy
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/12/20 10:21 PM

Come on sad sack Satty7 ! ... tsk

I’m ALL ALONE meself .. and I did not diss you at all ...
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/12/20 10:33 PM

What’s with the TUDE ?

You seemed DELIGHTED to get outa there !
Posted By: TJP

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... - 06/13/20 12:02 AM

Originally Posted by coronetgirl
You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.


iagree up
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 12:26 AM

Originally Posted by Doc Fiberglass..
What’s with the TUDE ?

You seemed DELIGHTED to get outa there !


My bad....think I have a touch of heat exhaustion from work, feeling a bit cranky........ help

Not to go off topic but, do all ProMaster vans suck as bad as the one we have at work? flame
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 01:19 AM

We are good ... up ... it was brutal today here too.

Well I’m certainly no Romeo .., more like a Happy Sack .... NOT SAD at all.

Anyone ever had dealings with someone who is an ABSOLUTE FLAMING ALCOHOLIC ?

One who drinks HAND SANITIZER ? ... look it up !!!
Posted By: SattyNoCar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 01:56 AM


Anyone ever had dealings with someone who is an ABSOLUTE FLAMING ALCOHOLIC ?

One who drinks HAND SANITIZER ? ... look it up !!!


wave

Not to speak ill of the deceased, but, my step (STEP) Mom was. Don't know if she ever drank hand sanitizer, but she'd go on these rips where if it had alcohol in it (like vanilla extract for example), she'd drink it. An alcoholic, bipolar, person of Irish descent, is NOT a good combination. runaway

Came home to blood everywhere a few times........... eek
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 03:30 PM

I’ve compared notes with some other people and OH LORD ... lots of addiction issues out there !
Posted By: Mr PotatoHead

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 04:15 PM

Me and myself are getting along fine, carry on.
Posted By: dIc dOc Deity !

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 08:32 PM

Originally Posted by Mr. Potatohead
Me and myself are getting along fine, carry on.


Things gReAt with the Palmer twins ? whistling
Posted By: coronetville

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/13/20 09:04 PM

send her out of town rent a storage area, cleanout everything checking, saving, house, garage, basemen, back yard, front yard, when your wife gets done talking to her "fiends" she will do it to you and have the nasty b!@##$% lawyer around AND if you think she would not do it you HA HA HA HA
Posted By: That AMC Guy

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/15/20 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by Doc Fiberglass..
Originally Posted by Mr. Potatohead
Me and myself are getting along fine, carry on.


Things gReAt with the Palmer twins ? whistling



In this day and age, it's better to remain single, be your own man, do your own thing, own your own stuff and when you get the urge, call up an enthusiastic cowgirl and then pay her to leave. More often than not, they put on a good show, do what they need to do and are probably more grateful than a woman in a relationship - because you both know exactly what's going on.

Don't get me wrong, I would welcome a long term relationship with a decent woman. The joke there is good damn luck finding one. Or, I suppose to be more accurate, Good Luck finding one that can see anything good about a low hanging fruit like myself. Women always want to date up but not all of us bring in 6 figures.
Posted By: 5thAve

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/15/20 03:34 PM

Ouch sorry to hear what's going on!! Like others said at least it's happening now and not down the road. She must have had it planned for a while.
Even tho it's her house you put money into it so you should be getting something back. Good luck with it all.
Posted By: John_Kunkel

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/15/20 04:29 PM

I'm still a fan of the old adage "If it flies, f**cks or floats, you're better off renting"
Posted By: JDMopar

Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic...UPDATE . - 06/17/20 01:39 AM

Originally Posted by John_Kunkel
I'm still a fan of the old adage "If it flies, f**cks or floats, you're better off renting"


That's kind of like the one I heard...."If it has (.)(.) or tires, it's gonna cause you problems!" laugh2
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