Dont attempt to push a car with a dead starter onto ramps one-manned:

Jamie after having done exactly what you are describing I found out a secret. I'll tell you but don't tell everyone. Jack the car up after you have pushed it to where you want to work on it. When you get it high enough put the ramp undre the wheel (do it one wheel at a time). If you need a bit more up then jack up the tire and wheel combo to compress the spring. Much safer and easier on the car.

Never use a makeshift radiator hose and a tranny cooler repaired with solder to start up a brand new motor for break-in. It will pump tranny fluid on the floor like a lake and the radiator will blow off the car like a freakin cannon, your car will get hit by a tidal wave of slimy fluids and it will take 6 hours out in the cold to clean it up.
Don't ask me how I know.

Don't put in antifreeze in zero degree weather at night. In Virginia. Then next day you may have to rebuild the engine and get it welded up in a couple places. Put it in a few days before it gets cold!

Those are good here are mine...

Do not poor windshield washer fluid on an fire because it is the closest thing to water you have don't ask me how I know.

Brake cleaner stings your eyes, don't ask me how I know.

Don't drop your freshly packed wheel bearing in the dirt, don't ask me how I know.

it's not the shock you get from the high voltage coil that hurts its when you re-act and hit your head on the hood of the car.

When you are painting a sign for the sled race in the woods, and you are by youself, make sure the can/nozzle is pointing away from your eyes. Expecialy if you are wearing contacts.

Do not put alcohol in contact lens case because they got dirty and needed something other than water to clean them

I plead the fifth on my eyes burning for what seemed like eternity....

If your sewer is plugged up and you got a nasty mess to take care of and your house is 2 storys tell your wife and kids the upstairs toilet DOES NOT FLUSH GOOD!!

Don't try to balance an 833 on a small saddle floor jack, because as soon as you get the input shaft through the clutch a slight puff of wind will blow the 833 off the floor jack and the next sound you will hear will be the snapping of your bearing retainer.

A fool who trys to install an 11" flywheel through the bellhousing while sitting Indian style underneath a jacked car will promptly lose significant chunks of skin when the flywheel falls before the first bolt is started onto the hand which is leisurely resting on the ground.

..Oh and don't use the brand new inflatable swimming pool for the kids, that hasn't even been blown up yet, to put on top of the leaking gear oil from your fallen 833. Wives tend to frown on that. Or so I've heard.

Dog dishes from the neighbors make really good drip pans, but I have never tried this

A manual transmission will eventually mount up to the bellhousing, after cleany breaking the pilot tool off that you forgot about in the clutch/flywheel, also making it near impossible to use another tool till that one is removed

New tires on new rims WILL find a way to unlatch your truck tailgate and roll past you going down the highway

or

Roll down the hill going to your house/shop

I don't think that I have EVER laughed this hard reading a thread. Here are some "lessons:"

1. When helping a friend replace his serpentine belt, always make sure his fingers are clear of belt AND pulley before letting go.

2. If you get stopped by a cop on a BS charge in a bitty little town like Sylacauga, Alabama, telling the police officer to let you know if his father ever marries his mother will only make things worse.

3. Playing the old "check my coil wire for a spark" joke on a guy who can beat the crap out of you is never smart (or healthy).

4. Talking dirty to a girl without making sure she's into it beforehand is a good way to earn a knee to the groin...tends to put a damper on the mood.

5. No matter how funny YOU think it may be, your girlfriend will not be amused when you call out another woman's name during the heat of passion.

6. The correct answer to, "Does this skirt make my a$$ look big?" is NOT "Naw baby...your a$$ does that just fine all by itself."

When after scoring a new but discarded mid 60's Chevelle 1/4 panel from Carlisle swap meet for your Demon's trunk floor, make sure to note how long the screws are in the screw gun your using to install the pieces or you may find yourself having a geyser of gas gushing from your new trunk floor being you just filled the tank with 92 octane. Dont ask me how...

When using a baseball bat to "curl under' the lip of your rear 1/4's to fit oversize tires might seem like a good idea, it usually ends up with a kinked wheel well lip or a fat lip..Don't ask...

When it's really cold out and you put cardboard in front of the radiator so it doesn't freeze up,don't forget to remove it later.

Always but always pull the wrench/ratchet TOWARD you. Pushing away tends to make you fall into fender wells,engine bays or other painful/hazardous places..Don't ask me how...

never ever forget to always keep a garbage can (leave lid off) near the back wood porch so that when ur honeys heel gets caught in the crack her crack will have something to land in!

after clutch shop finishes new clutch install and you are 10 minutes down the road when you find out that the 4 speed shifter has not been bolted down - keep foot away from rear tire when you jump out to inspect - tires like to run over feet!

never waste 3 hours trying to install headers on a 351 mustang before first taking said headers and heaving them across the floor and into the wall - works wonders and makes installation a snap!

dont spit into the wind
dont tug on supermans cape
and dont mess with jim.

When swapping motors, remember to plug yer fuel line... especially with a full
tank.

Something about a tank of gas and asphalt that don't mix....

Don't assume the year of a transmission when installing a shift kit. Late model
727's shift a little odd with the early style kit, or so I've heard.