Towbars and shins don't mix ....(yowch!!)

Reading posts titled "Don't ask me how I know.........." is a bad idea when recovering from surgery with a belly full of stiches

Never try to take a dip of copenhagen with the window down at 80 MPH said copenhagen will fly out of the can and be attracted to your eyes like a magnet, creating an intense burning sensation in the eyes making it impossible to see the road because your eyes have turned into niagra falls trying to flush it out. It tends to make driving at 80 MPH a tad difficult without wrecking.

And never rub said eyes as it only makes it worse!



never pick a fight with a dip of copenhagen in as it will ensure two back to back A$$ whoopins
1. for picking the fight and 2. for puking on the guy your fighting with after he hits you in the stomach making you swallow your copenhagen



Jason

If you get the timing gun wires caught up in the running fan blades you can mess up a whole lot of stuff...don't ask me how I know!

Always make sure the ignition key is off before removing the distributor cap and grabbing the rotor button.

Don't ask me how I know....

1. That a coil spring WILL fly out and crack your sternum....

2. That the rounded over piece on top of a maul will fly off when you are splitting wood, and go right thru your lower lip like a bullet...

3. That a 16 penny nail will go cleanly thru the bottom of your sneaker, your entire foot, and out the top of your sneaker....

4. That failing to replace the drain plug on your '67 Pontiac will allow all 7 quarts of oil to permanently stain the driveway...

5. That not putting the fuel filter gaskets on a Holley DP will flood your new engine with gas, and ruin the engine paint....

6. That throwing a can of wax against the brick front on the house will end up leaving a stain that has lasted 30 years....

7. That punching the side of the garage as hard as you can will fracture your hand and break 2 knuckles.....

If you goof and grab a 6 cyl ignition module and plug it into your V-8 harness dont pull the coil wire with the key on, it will constantly fire!
Dont play hide and seek with your kids with an old VW with a long exhaust pipe sticking out sitting in the yard. Makes a nasty bruise on your shin, a skinned up chin and aweful hard to breathe after you bounce off the driveway!
Make sure your wheel chocks are at least 6 inches tall. A 64 newport is hard to stop free rolling.

Before you spend two days swapping out a motor to cure the severe overheating that you are absolutely sure is being caused by the engine you might want to confirm that it isn't something simple like a plugged radiator.

if your cigarette lighter shorts, smokes, and blows the fuse - you can turn on your interior lights by pressing the horn...

NEVER test your kids brand new Slip-N-Slide wearing cut-off jeans. (unless you desire two really narrow Slip-N-Slides)

Never push or pull on your 1/4 glass on your restored 66 coronet 500 when installing the cats wiskers. they will break............don't ask!!!!!!!!!

When standing beside your racecar, don't rev up your race cars engine.... with the trans in neutral... and the CO2 shifter still turned ON.

Unless you're wanting to auto-load you car into the enclosed trailer.

dont climb any higher than what your willing to fall

When working on a piece of equipment you have never worked on before a good thing to have is some sort of manual. Thinking you know what you are doing can result in a busted lip when working on a Model 3910 ford tractor's starter because there is a hidden starter bolt behind the chevy style solinoid convincing you that it is simply engaged in the flywheeel and all you need is a larger prybar to get it off. DAMHIK
Did anyone else notice that DAMNIK can be sounded out as Dam# Hick?

...that you should check to see if thee parts you're wife brought you, will indead be able to get you off the side of the road, BEFORE you spend 9 hours with an air chisle in 120 heat index, and then still have to call a wrecker

...that the wrecker service you called can indeed tow you

...if said service can't do the job, they won't call you to let you know

DAMNIK (both pronunciations work for me)

....pantyhose make pretty good fanbelts.

Quote:

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If you get the timing gun wires caught up in the running fan blades you can mess up a whole lot of stuff...don't ask me how I know!

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If I didn't know better I'd think you were watching me.

If your car is up on dollies with the rear axle brakes disconnected, putting the trans in gear (even with your foot on the brake) will launch the dollies out from under the back tires and send them crashing into your toolbox. Of course, when the spinning rear tires hit the floor, the car will take off out of the garage with no steering or brakes. (dollies are still under the front tires remember)

Don't ask me how I know...

The PARK function of your automatic transmission nor the parking brake will work if you put a floor jack under the differential and raise the rear tires off the shop floor!!!

ANYTHING but brake fluid plays havoc with the specially formulated rubber seals in your brake system.

What goes UP, will come DOWN when you least want them to!!!

Dan

removing your batter cable is a good ideawhen working on your car, even if your doing something like removing exhasut, it might happen to fall on a possitive starter cable and melt things