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Wife and I are in a pickle spot
#3024133
03/15/22 08:56 AM
03/15/22 08:56 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
Cometstorm
OP
"Beat It"
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OP
"Beat It"
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
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Ok, Wife and I are mid sixties. She has a long time male church friend, who has a number of health issues… among them advanced lung cancer and poop issues. He IS ambulatory at this point. We are in eastern Missouri and live about twenty miles apart. He’s been planning for close to a year to relocate to California to be near his sons. Wife has been trying to help him out with this n that. Anyway, fast forward to a couple nights ago.. I agreed that he could stay here the night before his flight to California. Well, the details are too long to list. Suffice it to say everything fell apart brick by brick. His planning (house sale, selling of numerous belongings, yada yada) all broke down. His car is (mid 2000’s Mercedes) is all but shot. No drivers license, but he has asked to use one of our cars. The closing out on his house was two nights ago, but lots of stuff still there. A flipper is buying it as opposed to a direct move in, so a hard push hasn’t happened (yet). This guy is a retired lawyer, for what it’s worth. He is VERY snippy and prone to outbursts of numerous sorts. (I can understand, but often and unprovoked gets very hard. To top it off, wife and I are set for a long Florida Keys trip in a couple weeks. Don’t know what we’re gonna do. One of my mottos has always been “Failure to plan on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.” But it looks like we have a problem… 
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: migsBIG]
#3024142
03/15/22 09:36 AM
03/15/22 09:36 AM
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,479
N.W. Florida
Fat_Mike
master
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master
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,479
N.W. Florida
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Politely tell him he has a week or less (not sure how many days is good for you) and he needs to be out. He's not poor and has the funds to stay at a hotel/motel. In that time, he can drop off his car at the shop and they can repair it. Loaning a car to an uninsured, unlicensed person is a sure way for you to get dragged into legal problems when something happens. This person is an adult. They were professional lawyer and does not how to deal with this type of situation? Why are you dealing with this guy? His sons should have been out there to help out in one way or another. Suspect he might be wanting you to take care of his stuff for him too. Be kind but firm, a true friend will understand it. Well said.
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024150
03/15/22 09:45 AM
03/15/22 09:45 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,039
Benton, IL.
DaveRS23
Master of nothing...
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Master of nothing...
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 13,039
Benton, IL.
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You may well be forced to put your foot down. Just plan for it and don't do it at an emotional point. If you don't end up doing it, all the better. But at least you are prepared.
Good luck. And remember, 'no good deed goes unpunished'.
Master, again and still
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: DaveRS23]
#3024154
03/15/22 09:58 AM
03/15/22 09:58 AM
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Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 10,426
Super Spudsville
Mr PotatoHead
Half Baked
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Half Baked
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 10,426
Super Spudsville
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Well, one thing id not be doing is loaning any vehicle to him. You can go from pickle to behind the eight ball in very short order.
Good luck.
STOP POTATO HATE!
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024155
03/15/22 09:58 AM
03/15/22 09:58 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7,548
Albany, NY
67SATisfaction
The member whose name is actually Art
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The member whose name is actually Art
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 7,548
Albany, NY
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You're facing a complex network of personal problems and consequences that are not of your own making, nor under your complete control.
As mentioned above, the guy has money. He lacks responsibility and he lacks action.
Break each problem down to a solution solved by the use of his money
- He needs to hire people to clean out the house, fix the car, get a hire to drive him around.. then look ahead and anticipate everything you can down to his ride to the airport so you're not caught without a solution he can solve with his money.
The guy probably suffers from a lack of boundaries..
You wife has not been mentioned as the primary problem solver here.. What's her role? She can appeal to the church pastor for help dealing with this guy..
You have my sympathy,
- Art
65 Satellite hardtop 361/4bbl console 727 2.76
67 Satellite convert 383/2bbl column 727 3.23
67 Lancia Fulvia Sport 1.3 Zagato. Alloy body, 1.3L V4 DOHC 4-spd
67 Lancia Fulvia Rallye 1.3. Alloy panel, 1.3L V4 DOHC 4-spd
71 Alfa Romeo GT Junior 1300 Zagato, 1.3L 4cyl DOHC hemi 5-spd
82 Alfa Romeo GTV6 2.5L SOHC hemi V6 5-spd transaxle
75 Maserati Bora US spec 4.9L DOHC hemi V8 5-spd ZF
77 Maserati Khamsin Euro spec 4.9L DOHC hemi V8 5-spd ZF
07 Aston Martin DB9 6.0L DOHC V12 6spd transaxle
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024156
03/15/22 10:00 AM
03/15/22 10:00 AM
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 10,228
Colleyville
3hundred
I Live Here
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I Live Here
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 10,228
Colleyville
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No one can take advantage of you without your permission. You ARE being taken advantage of and abused, IMHO. Take positive action and don't feel guilty about it.
'68 Fury Convertible
'69 300 Convertible
'15 Durango 5.7 Hemi
'16 300 S Hemi
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: 67SATisfaction]
#3024167
03/15/22 10:22 AM
03/15/22 10:22 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
Cometstorm
OP
"Beat It"
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OP
"Beat It"
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
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You're facing a complex  network of personal problems and consequences that are not of your own making, nor under your complete control. She can appeal to the church pastor for help dealing with this guy.. - Art Yes, I thought that too. But he had a BIG falling out with the Pastor several years ago, and hasn’t returned since. It figures…
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: NITROUSN]
#3024180
03/15/22 11:00 AM
03/15/22 11:00 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 16,164
Central Florida
larrymopar360
Stud Muffin
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Stud Muffin
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 16,164
Central Florida
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I would tell him like this. Rent a storage unit. Get all his stuff in it and give him a ride to the airport. Or get him a u-haul load it and send him on his way. If he cant drive it he has to hire a driver with a one way plane ticket back. This guy sounds like he could be a cheap mooch. Is it mostly the request to use your car? I absolutely wouldn't allow that because that's a nightmare waiting to happen. As an attorney he should know this. Is it more than the car (him staying at your house while you're not there also?).
Facts are stubborn things.
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: NITROUSN]
#3024183
03/15/22 11:06 AM
03/15/22 11:06 AM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
Cometstorm
OP
"Beat It"
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OP
"Beat It"
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,796
St. Louis, Missouri area
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Thanks all, I truly appreciate everyone’s input : : Wife is driving him to his house as I type… supposedly he will be in a motel tonight. I actually told my wife “Do not accept any money, etc from him.” Maybe i watch too many Court shows, but he being an attorney…. I wanted to pre-empt a claim of tenant status (do I sound paranoid?) Hopefully this is resolving itself. Will advise… 
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024186
03/15/22 11:10 AM
03/15/22 11:10 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 16,164
Central Florida
larrymopar360
Stud Muffin
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Stud Muffin
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 16,164
Central Florida
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No you are NOT overly concerned with the concern of "residency status"! If he brings enough belongings to show he has established residency it quickly becomes a civil matter and really can become a PITA. I'm sure he knows this. If he has more than a change of clothes and a tooth brush and tells law enforcement he is living there, they cannot force him out and neither could you. This is the case in Florida and probably most states! At this point you are stuck with the eviction process.
Facts are stubborn things.
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024208
03/15/22 12:09 PM
03/15/22 12:09 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,001
Omaha Ne
TJP
I Live Here
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I Live Here
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,001
Omaha Ne
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#1One of my mottos has always been “Failure to plan on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.”#2But it looks like we have a problem… #3He is VERY snippy and prone to outbursts of numerous sorts. (I can understand, but often and unprovoked gets very hard. To top it off, wife and I are set for a long Florida Keys trip in a couple weeks. IMO: #1 Your motto is 100% correct. #2 You do not have a problem YET But may have soon if you do not act. You have a choice whether you ALLOW his mismanagement of his affairs to become your problem.#3 Could be a sign of mental issues or a reaction to whatever cancer drugs he is taking One of my motto's is "Lesson's paid for are best remembered" It is good to help people but bad to ALLOW them to take advantage of you. At 67 years old (now 68) I finally figured that out. It cost me a lot of time AND $$$. One of them was a close blood relative. (APPLY my motto here)  Do you think he helped his clients without charging them as you are doing? Likely not  I would say we agreed to help you for one night. that time has passed. I do not want to get involved in your personal life or affairs. I would ask him if he has a preference as to which transportation company you call for him. I would also ask him if he would like you to call his son(s) to come and assist him with HIS problems After all they will be the beneficiaries not you. What are the chances you will ever be in contact with him again? The sooner you act on this the better off you will be. It does sound to me as though he is losing some mental competency. That is not for you or your wife to get involved with as you may wind up getting sued. Go to Florida and enjoy yourselves  Learn who to help and realize when you're being set up/ taken advantage of. QUESTION:. Does the man even have sons in calif. ?
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Cometstorm]
#3024211
03/15/22 12:17 PM
03/15/22 12:17 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 12,495
Warren, MI
71TA
I Live Here
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I Live Here
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 12,495
Warren, MI
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I don't have ANY advice but the motto I live by is "NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUINISHED" PS We may be headed to the Key West too. Where are you guys headed? Friend spent AN ENORMOUS amount of $ to buy a house down there and offered it to us. Ok, Wife and I are mid sixties. She has a long time male church friend, who has a number of health issues… among them advanced lung cancer and poop issues. He IS ambulatory at this point. We are in eastern Missouri and live about twenty miles apart. He’s been planning for close to a year to relocate to California to be near his sons. Wife has been trying to help him out with this n that. Anyway, fast forward to a couple nights ago.. I agreed that he could stay here the night before his flight to California. Well, the details are too long to list. Suffice it to say everything fell apart brick by brick. His planning (house sale, selling of numerous belongings, yada yada) all broke down. His car is (mid 2000’s Mercedes) is all but shot. No drivers license, but he has asked to use one of our cars. The closing out on his house was two nights ago, but lots of stuff still there. A flipper is buying it as opposed to a direct move in, so a hard push hasn’t happened (yet). This guy is a retired lawyer, for what it’s worth. He is VERY snippy and prone to outbursts of numerous sorts. (I can understand, but often and unprovoked gets very hard. To top it off, wife and I are set for a long Florida Keys trip in a couple weeks. Don’t know what we’re gonna do. One of my mottos has always been “Failure to plan on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.” But it looks like we have a problem…
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: 71TA]
#3024243
03/15/22 01:28 PM
03/15/22 01:28 PM
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,096
Ontario, Canada
Stanton
Don't question me!
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Don't question me!
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,096
Ontario, Canada
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Retired lawyer ... can't be hurting for $$$. Keep in mind that you'll never see this guy again and you should never have let him in in the first place !!
Now then, tell him:
a) you have till the end of the week then you're out
b) rent a car
c) hire movers and have everything taken to The Salvation Army (charity don't usually pick up)
FWIW, renting a storage unit is just throwing good money after bad. As you see on many reality shows, the contents are rarely worth the rent owing !! Besides, he's moving to Cali, what's the chance he'll come back for anything!
Last edited by Stanton; 03/15/22 01:45 PM.
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Stanton]
#3024247
03/15/22 01:40 PM
03/15/22 01:40 PM
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,683
Michigan
oldjonny
Don't argue with me.
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Don't argue with me.
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,683
Michigan
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Retired lawyer ... can't be hurting for $$$. Keep in mind that you'll never see this guy again.
a) you have till the end of the week then you're out
b) rent a car
c) hire movers and have everything taken to The Salvation Army (charity don't usually pick up)
Renting a storage unit is just throwing good money after bad. As you see on many reality shows, the contents are rarely worth the rent owing !! I can attest to that statement. Last summer had to clean out my uncles storage in Wisconsin of his "Valuables" that he had stored for 20+ years. After paying his ginormous, late storage fees, we managed to donate to a charity and get a $300 tax write-off after burning 3 days of time and driving 8 hours both ways. TOTAL waste of time.
Never, ever argue with an IDIOT. They will drag you to their level and then beat you with their years of experience
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Dart 500]
#3024353
03/15/22 06:13 PM
03/15/22 06:13 PM
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Superfreak
Unregistered
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Superfreak
Unregistered
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Call his sons and tell them to come get their dad This^^^^^^^ I would not let him in the house
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Re: Wife and I are in a pickle spot
[Re: Dart 500]
#3024367
03/15/22 06:56 PM
03/15/22 06:56 PM
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,704
W. Kentucky
justinp61
I Live Here
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I Live Here
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,704
W. Kentucky
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Call his sons and tell them to come get their dad Exactly. My question was going to be, where are his sons in this? They should be taking care of their father.
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