You have two dogs at home named “Snake” and “Mongoose.

You want to have kids just so you can run a Jr. Dragster

You know more about a drivers career than his wife does

Your weed whacker was blue painted by Keith Black

You put a 60-foot launch pad in your backyard instead of a pool

After your garage door opens you “stage” and wait on the tree before pulling out

After one pass around the yard on your lawn mower you read the plug and fatten "er up".

During the winter you roll the windows down just to smell the tire smoke from skidding tires.

You can’t remember your spouse’s birthday, but you know the e.t. and speed records in every professional class.

You think the purpose of wings is to prevent flight

You catch yourself saying, "I wish stoplights would flash yellow before they turn green." That way you could get a better reaction time

You know Hookers are headers

You memorize the Summit and Jeg’s catalog so you can build your dream car in your mind when you’re bored

"Going to the lanes" means getting ready to race, not going to roll some stupid heavy ball down a wood floor, to knock down pins.

Your home page is set at NHRA.com or Simply-Wicked.com.

When Introducing your family, You refer to them as your crewmembers.

You see burnout marks in the pavement and try to determine how serious a car it was by the length and width of the stripes. Then you say, I coulda done better.

You refer to a cold day as "fast air."

While your squirting dish soap in the sink , you’re thinking about priming the injector.

When you joined the AARP. you got mad because they didn’t send you a pin, a patch, a rule book, or 48 issues of anything

You talk in your sleep and your wife wakes you up in the middle of the night and wants to know who Shirley, Connie, and Yolanda are.

You describe someone who’s upset as being "on the chip" or "on the tire."

You’ve even told a co-worker that your nutty boss finally "tossed the belt."

You refer to an employee who didn’t show to work as "having a cylinder out."

You use the emergency brake handle as the "hand brake" while inching up at a stoplight, pretending your staging.

You send a monthly letter to the city council asking it to move the traffic lights to street level because looking up is messing up your reaction time.

Your wife and kids report you missing 23 times a year.

Your are more enthusiastic about getting your National DRAGSTER in the mail than a check.

You don’t know Richard Nixon was from Yorba Linda, Calif., but you do know John Force is.

You’ll spend $300 for a single slick, but you won’t spend more than $150 for all four new tires on your commuter.

You run your commuter tires at 6psi

You have a shift light in your minivan

You call the freeway offramp the "shutdown area"

You refer to Sacramento Raceway park and Samoa Drag Strip as "the happiest Place on earth"

While you’re shopping for underwear, you find yourself looking for an SFI tag.

You know that all the things they claimed to do to that car in Grease can’t really be done at the same time.

You have a CD mix of car songs, including "409," "little Deuce Coupe," "and "Shutdown."

You honk and give a thumbs-up to any other car on the road sporting an NHRA Member
sticker.

You drive 350 miles to your sisters just because there is a drag strip 20 miles from her house

You never wanted to play with your friends sister until you found out she had a dragster now you will drive 350 miles just to play

You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses.

When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

You bought a race car before buying a house.

You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!

The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance): 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop. 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel. 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder. 4) A grease pit. 5) Deaf neighbors. 6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property - or - hookups for the motor home.

You have enough spare parts to build another car.

More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.

You save broken car parts as "momentous".

You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).

The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.

Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.

After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"

You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.

You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet
you can spend five hours in the staging lanes.

Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane.

You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.

When someone asks your weight, you tell them the weight of your car with and without a driver

You use racing fuel as an after shave.

You treat a traffic light, like a Christmas Tree

"You see burnout marks in the pavement and try to determine how serious a car it was by the length and width of the stripes. Then you say, I coulda done better."

Don't have to be addicted to drag racing for this, There is a car in my area that leaves some nice one's on the pavement. Every time i drive over them I hope to see the car.

I'm an addict then

I can't say all of them apply but, alot of them hit home

now that you put it that way........
Ah heck, i allready knew i was addicted.

You save broken car parts as "momentous".

Or: You save broken car parts because you can sell em on EBAY.

A friend of mine named his dogs holley and carter, my kids nick names are hook and header named them that 30 some years ago and still call them that.

Found alot of them to be true, don't own a home but working on a car with my dad. He bought a new house mostly because of the garage...I think, lol. Have a dog named Dodger and find myself wanting to work on reaction time at stop lights.

I missed a lot of family parties Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor day all through the 80's and 90's.

The Sacramento and Samoa had me rolling......they are horrible!

I thought I was the only one that ask my realator all that. It took me a year and a half of looking for the right spot. I had to build a garage though. heated floors and all.The place has two garages a place for the motor home to park and lots of parking. The house has a bedroom a kitchen and computer room (the ones I live in the rest are there but I never visit them. I do visit the bathroom though. OH NO I'M ADDICTED!

Visitors to your house always ask what the up with all the burnout tracks on your driveway.

Yep, that list is pretty accurate.

i bought my current house because
1/ it's only 20 mins tow to the track
2/ the road in front of the property is flat, wide & 1 mile long
3/ is in the country so i can start my engine at midnite & only upset the missus, not the neighbourhood
4/ the garage is detached from the house so grinder smoke, welding smoke & racegas fumes don't infiltrate the house
5/ when i load up the trailer @ 7am sunday morning i'm not p****-**g off any neighbours
i know i'm addicted, i'm watching video footage of my car to help my thru the winter months.

"Hi my name is Chris and I'm an addicted"

Hi Chris...My name is Dave, my dog's name is Dodge, I bought my place by looking at the garage. I live right off 440 street. I'm an addict. Dave

I bought my home because the garage is insulated, has heat, AND air conditioning.....

Your torque converter breaks,and you have it replaced before the next weekend.Even though the gas has been turned off at your house for non payment 4 months ago,and you,your wife,and your 1 and 2 year old children have no heat,and it is October.Also,when you place in the top 5 in points at your local track,but your 3 months behind in your house payments.And soon your above mentioned family is about to become homeless,unless someone bails you out.
My post is not very funny.But it is all true.