..what temperature do you run with a 180 stat?
..my upper rad hose doesn't even get warm until my gauge shows 190 or more.

there will be little or no circulation through the radiator until the thermostat opens, hence the cool hose. the temp will vary significantly depending on where you measure, and whether the thermostat is open, or cycling.

...hose gets warm at 190 so that is when the stat is opening..
...fsm says a 180 stat will be fully open at 195.
...a lot of guys tell me they run no higher than 180?

With a strong cooling system you should run a little over the stat rating as temp has to rise enough to open the stat. As posted, but temp guages (and actual stat performance) may be a bit off specs so I wouldn't worry about a 10 degree difference.