My Brother and I are Combat Veterans. He served in Iraq and Afghanistan. When he came home from Iraq I left. About a year later he went to Afghanistan. He did a year in each theater and was in vehicles that had been blown up in each theater. He had traumatic brain injuries from each of those. He was 100% disabled (PTSD-TBI) and battled alcoholism and a meth addiction. He was supposed to go into a VA Mental Health facility and check in today, the day before Veterans Day.
He had an outstanding warrant from a failure to appear for mental health evaluation. He went to my parents house to borrow $20, he routinely blew through his disability check at the beginning of the month. My parents wouldn't give him the money, knowing he was going to score a hit and party before going into treatment. They went into their bedroom to talk about what to do and he barged in and grabbed my mom's pistol and put it in his mouth.
This was last night, 11/09/2020, and they witnessed everything. It happened so fast. He was still breathing until this morning but he died from "Catastrophic Brain Injury", a day before Veteran's Day.
I too have a TBI and quite a few LOC's (Loss of consciousness). One was more than 30 minutes. I know the toll it takes on you. Memory loss is unreal. Confusion and anger. We will never know what went on in his brain and sadly will not have the option of studying it post mortem.
My parents are in the middle of building a new house next door and I want to just go burn the old family home down. I can't believe this happened in their bedroom. I can believe it happened the way it did. I always thought he would go out from a drunk driving, bad drug deal, or suicide. Our uncle who was an Army Ranger used a shotgun during a family fishing trip. I just never imagined it this way, in front of the parents. I have been there myself with suicidal thoughts but my kids always keep me from going through with it. Such a little thing can drive someone in this state to do the unthinkable. Hell, frustration over my projects, fights with the wife, feeling like everything I touch turns to hell because I can't concentrate long enough to see one task through. My wife and kids are perfect in my eyes and I owe it to them to keep plodding along and getting up every morning.
My Brother had no wife or kids. All he had were a bunch of mistakes to live with. Burnt bridges. Failed relationships. My Mom was the only woman that loved him unconditionally. All his friends were out for his disability check and he knew it. He just couldn't shake that lifestyle. I know how he felt. "I'm a loser." Nobody loves me". "I can't do anything right." The thought is something that worms it's way into your mind and soul. If you don't have someone to pull you back from the edge you're toast. Some people will never swallow pride and ask for help. If that sounds like you, ask for help. If you think there is nobody that loves you go to a church. Go to the VFW. I just don't know what to say. I am a few states away and was never there. Honestly, due to his drug problem and him being violent with my parents a few years ago I didn't want anything to do with him. I wish I had at least had his phone number and called every once in a while. When I first came back from Iraq I leaned on him and he talked me back from the edge. He had a good soul in there somewhere. He was just so tormented and trapped in addiction.
Guys, just watch out for people with TBI's. I'm reminded of football players (Junior Seau), wrestlers, boxers, firefighter, cops, and regular folks that have just taken some bonks on the head. Combat Vets and veterans in general are in the forefront with the sheer numbers, 22 a day, but in my current line of work, as a wildland firefighter, suicide is running rampant. Empathy and compassion can be the thing that helps someone seek the therapy thy need.
Only the dead have seen the end of war. Rest in peace, Kris.
