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Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: 69Dartman] #853
07/17/03 04:55 PM
07/17/03 04:55 PM

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Dont ever drive your car after replacing the rear leafsprings without first hooking up the shocks... said cars rear will bounce and gyrate wildly all the way to the coffee shop and car will be subject to abrupt lane changes above 30 mph. You can ask how I know!

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." #854
07/17/03 05:56 PM
07/17/03 05:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,920
n.e. pa.
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65rbdodge Offline
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Posts: 3,920
n.e. pa.
you don`t have to ask me how i know this, i`ll tell you-

DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE! how do i know this?

a few years ago at a 4th of july party at my buds house, there was his brothers (junk)subaru and we decided to take it for a ride. we went around the yard a few times, no problem. then my buddy decided he wanted to drive through the field with 3ft high grass. a about 35mph we came to an instant stop. it was dark and all i could see was beer dripping off the roof and a smashed windshield(from our heads). luckily no one was hurt at all!! the was a foundation in the middle of the field that my buddy(who has lived there all his life) for got about. DOHHHH!!!

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: 65rbdodge] #855
07/17/03 06:38 PM
07/17/03 06:38 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 26,561
Santa Rosa, NOR*CAL.
Just Cameron Offline
Too Many Posts
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Santa Rosa, NOR*CAL.
Foundation...Sure it wasn't one of Mopar Jamie's Cars?

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: Just Cameron] #856
07/17/03 06:51 PM
07/17/03 06:51 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,424
Portland Oregon
69Dartman Offline
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Posts: 3,424
Portland Oregon
Oh yeah never try to roll a trailer full of bricks down the driveway to connect to your work van..... not my idea...bumper was easier to unbend then we thought....


Life's a little bit better when you hit a Camaro.
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: 69Dartman] #857
07/17/03 08:58 PM
07/17/03 08:58 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 827
twin cities
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dart_sportsatellite Offline
super stock
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twin cities
Don't play chicken with your brother who's just as crazy as your are when you both have your girlfriends in your cars and you're trying to impress them. And don't think he'll chicken out before you, cuz he won't! You end up with a head on collision, only the girlfriends go the hospital, don't ask some guys I used to know.

Don't move to MN from WI pulling an 87 Jeep Wrangler that has sat for 10 years on a dolly that only carries the front wheels behind a big moving truck, and don't expect those old rear wheel bearings not to lockup, breaking the axle retainer bolts shooting the tire and axle across the freeway. And don't expect to see the jeep in the rear view mirror. And don't think the people hanging out their window waving their arms and screaming at you are crazy because they saw what happened and you didn't. Don't ask me how I know:)

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: dart_sportsatellite] #858
07/18/03 01:26 AM
07/18/03 01:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,730
Red Deer, Alberta
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bill_greenwood Offline
top fuel
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top fuel
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Posts: 1,730
Red Deer, Alberta
A 73 Fury with a 360 will pull 110 mph in second gear. The same Fury will go for two weeks with a two piece crank ( What's that tickin' noise?)

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: bill_greenwood] #859
07/18/03 01:54 AM
07/18/03 01:54 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 6,607
Indiana
EV2DEMON Offline
The Camaro Kid
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The Camaro Kid

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Posts: 6,607
Indiana
Bad things happen when you take your car out of drive and put it in neutral and coast for a few seconds, only to mistakenly shift into reverse when you want accelerate again.

Trust what the jumper cables say and don't stand near a battery while you are jumping a car. Battery acid stings the eyes, and exploded plastic shrapnel is sharper than you'd think.

Don't attempt to do a heel-clicker over a 4 foot dirt hill on a Honda 300ex to impress your girlfriend. You don't even want to know the pain associated with that one. We'll just say the rest of that night was a wash.

When using ether and a match to pop a tire back on the rim, make sure your buddy is the one holding the tire upright so that when the flame travels up his arm, he is the one who looses his eyebrows.



Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: EV2DEMON] #860
07/18/03 08:07 AM
07/18/03 08:07 AM

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Slamming a rotten log against your brick outdoor fireplace in anger will result in a large piece breaking off and hitting you square in the temple, knocking you out cold for 5 minutes.....

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." #861
07/18/03 09:14 AM
07/18/03 09:14 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,619
Almost Heaven
B_Body_Bob Offline
Master of nothing
B_Body_Bob  Offline
Master of nothing

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Posts: 16,619
Almost Heaven
Has anyone posted ... If you decide to shut the engine off to coast downhill and save gas, make sure you don't lock the steering column?

A guy I went to H.S. with did that, showed up in school one day with casts on both legs.


Everybody makes fun of a hillbilly until they need something fixed
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: B_Body_Bob] #862
07/19/03 02:46 PM
07/19/03 02:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 970
Mooresville, NC
A70Runner Offline
super stock
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Posts: 970
Mooresville, NC
P on a auto car is not for passing gear. (not me but a friend honest)


Putting the dipstick back on a BB car at a gas station and hitting the positive cable of the battery will give many a person a heart attack

I'll think of more



"People Think I'm Insane Because I Am Frowning All The Time" Black Sabbath
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: A70Runner] #863
07/19/03 11:06 PM
07/19/03 11:06 PM

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Quote:

P on a auto car is not for passing gear. (not me but a friend honest)




But R is for race right?

When "drying" condensation in your distributor cap with WD-40 on a '76 small block truck, the cap should be removed from the distributor. You shouldn't blast in the WD through the vent hole and then try to start the engine unless you've got a spare cap!

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." #864
07/20/03 02:12 AM
07/20/03 02:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 619
Fairfield, CA
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Snooker Offline
mopar
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mopar
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Posts: 619
Fairfield, CA
Lots of keepers here, and now we know why insurance rates are high and emergency rooms are busy on weekends

A few life changing moments --

1. When swapping carriers with your buddy, don't assume he refilled the case with gear oil (3.7 miles outside of town -- froze solid, whisps of smoke coming from the front pinion seal )

2. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight!!!

3. Don't play chicken with yer brother in the woods when he has the pellet gun and you got the B-B gun

4. Don't trust yer brother to hold the ladder while you paint the eves on the bunk house

5. When ya have replaced the axle bearings in a old 1/2-ton Chevy, remember to put the little clip back on the inner end of the axle or else in about a 1/4-mile the axle and wheel assembly does a whilry-gig out the side view mirror as the brake assembly on that side digs a trench in the gravel

6. Don't use a styrofoam cup to prep the accel pump when rebuilding the carb

7. Don't use a crow-bar to break the bumper bracket loose from where some idiot spotwelded it without first having removed the bumper, else when the weld finally lets go the whole da** bumper assembly falls on your knee and ya get a nice cut on the back of yer head, and the neighbors laugh as you try getting to the first aid kit with one hand on the knee cut and the other on the head cut while trying not to cuss too loud

8. Be sure the kids keep the windows rolled up on the right side of the car while passing a livestock truck that's going to the auction with a load of watered-up cows

9. Arc welding with tennis shoes on -- not a good idea

10. Starting a model aircraft engine (propeller nicely fitted and balanced -- I thought) in a poorly cinched up vice in a small garage with your father right outside the window the darn thing is aimed at is not a good idea

How I got this old is still a mystery!



Orig DOB 2-02 / Snooker there & here <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: Snooker] #865
07/20/03 08:10 PM
07/20/03 08:10 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 970
Mooresville, NC
A70Runner Offline
super stock
A70Runner  Offline
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Posts: 970
Mooresville, NC
Remember another one...

When the soldering Iron falls don't try to catch it...I caught the wrong end once...Once


"People Think I'm Insane Because I Am Frowning All The Time" Black Sabbath
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: A70Runner] #866
07/20/03 08:46 PM
07/20/03 08:46 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 28,399
Posting from 1893 in NW FL
TheBlueBeast Offline
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Posts: 28,399
Posting from 1893 in NW FL
when your glass coffe pot falls out of the dish drainer, DO NOT try to catch it. As soon as your hand touches the pot it instantly explodes leaving a gash in your hand along the pinky to the bone. The whole time your mother (who was over to babysit while I went to work on my boss's truck) will be all freaked out and demanding you go to the hospital. I did not and got a small scar out of it.
When you are working on a car DO Not use Brake cleaner to clean the engine (It evaporates so well). You will burn the entire harness off the engine and it is very difficult to locate a engine harness for a 84 Caddy with a 4.1 engine in the rural south.
If you think that a 94 Grand Prix is easy to stop when it was left in nuetral by the owner after filling her tank. It is not and will cause you to hyperextend your knee joint resulting in a 23K hospital bill after the bone and joint specialist is done rebuilding said knee.

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: ZIPPY] #867
07/20/03 08:56 PM
07/20/03 08:56 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 3,789
Detroit Michigan
drbill Offline
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Posts: 3,789
Detroit Michigan
While adjusting the idle on a 4 speed car don't grab the fan shroud to stop the car from rolling into the fence.
Don't ask me how I know.

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: drbill] #868
07/20/03 09:11 PM
07/20/03 09:11 PM

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that even after 16 years on the same job its pretty darn easy to say i quit given the right situation.

Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." #869
07/21/03 01:27 AM
07/21/03 01:27 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,802
Between Houston & Galveston TX
SattyNoCar Offline
Smarter than no class Flappergass by a mile
SattyNoCar  Offline
Smarter than no class Flappergass by a mile

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 16,802
Between Houston & Galveston TX
When laying across your (bench) seat working on something under the dash, be mindful of where your feet are, hitting the seat adjustor handle will cause the seat to fly foward with enough force to put a dent in the dash with your head.

Don't ask me how I know (ow)


John

The dream is dead, long live the dream.......😥
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: SattyNoCar] #870
07/21/03 02:11 AM
07/21/03 02:11 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,216
Fresno, CA
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cudamank Offline
pro stock
cudamank  Offline
pro stock
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,216
Fresno, CA
when installing a battery for an old neighbor lady in the dark do not first connect the neg, then the positve and while tighening the positive terminal short your wedding ring on the wrench you just turned and touched the fender with. Did you know 14K
is one of the best conductors of electricity? did you know that in a few seconds it will glow? did you know when you finnaly get it off it will leave 2degree burns on your ring finger and the two fingers you pulled it off with? Did you know it was easy to find in the dark because it was still glowing? Dont ask me how i know


Remember remember the 11th of September, of murder and a terriosts plot. I see no reason why this treachery should ever be forgot.
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: cudamank] #871
07/21/03 05:05 PM
07/21/03 05:05 PM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,216
Fresno, CA
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cudamank Offline
pro stock
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Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,216
Fresno, CA
btt


Remember remember the 11th of September, of murder and a terriosts plot. I see no reason why this treachery should ever be forgot.
Re: "Don't ask me how I know..." [Re: cudamank] #872
07/25/03 10:20 AM
07/25/03 10:20 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 231
Broomfield, CO
one_eyed_jack Offline
super street
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super street

Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 231
Broomfield, CO
This is a great topic! I didn't have anything to add...until last night. A heater blower motor has enough mass and generates enough velocity after falling off your workbench to break your foot. Man I am the biggest klutz. Don't ask me how I know.

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