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#2462811 - 03/07/18 06:55 PM Been awhile since we had a relationship topic..........
Satilite73 Offline
I Live Here

Registered: 01/19/03
Posts: 12561
Loc: Between Houston & Galveston TX

This falls under the category of 'what would you do'.

I made my choice and chose incorrectly, so, no changing that.

This past year, I was dealing with my (73 yr old) Mom and her health issues that (literally) almost killed her and ultimately ended up with her having surgery to remove a grapefruit sized tumor.

She had to have a c-section to remove it. C-sections are hard enough on young women.

Less than two weeks later, while she was recovering at home (senior apt), Hurricane Harvey came to town, not so much wind as a LOT of rain.

I chose to stay with her. Aside from being more comfortable in her own place, medical treatment would have been more accessible from her place then mine.

Back at my place was my wife, her father, and a friend of hers that was renting a room. With my Mom and I, it would have been 5 adults, three dogs and one cat and two beds between us all.

We live about a mile apart, but during and after the storm, we were separated by flooded streets. Both places took on some water, but nothing extreme.

Since Harvey has passed thru, I have not heard the end of it from my wife how I abandoned her during a crises......

She filed divorce on me this week. I have until the end of the month to get out (house is in her name).

Looks like my wagon is going on the block.

So, am I the uncaring jerk my wife makes me out to be? shruggy

popcorn
_________________________
John




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#2462821 - 03/07/18 07:15 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
6T6Cuda Offline
top fuel

Registered: 07/24/03
Posts: 2290
Loc: Cincinnati, OH
Not sure what to do, but some light hearted imagery...


Attachments
IMG_20171225_111758_01.jpg



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#2462827 - 03/07/18 07:20 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
amxautox Offline
Still Retired. Still Posting on Moparts. A Lot.

Registered: 05/13/03
Posts: 96589
Loc: On The Boat, On The Lake, Wa. ...
Get rid of the broad, live alone for awhile, MAYBE find a good woman down the road somewhere, sometime.
_________________________
Tom

"Everyone should believe in something; I believe I'll go fishing."

-Henry David Thoreau

Men and fish are alike. They both get into trouble when they open their mouths

author unknown


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#2462828 - 03/07/18 07:22 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
moparjim79 Offline


Registered: 09/30/14
Posts: 406
Loc: Central Pa
Sorry to hear this, but brother, I think this has been in the works for a while now, and she was looking for an excuse to spring it on you. You gave her one.

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#2462834 - 03/07/18 07:28 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
DAYCLONA Offline
I Live Here

Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 15622
Loc: Mass
While the "door" is open, take advantage of this golden opportunity presented to you!

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#2462842 - 03/07/18 07:45 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
coronetgirl Offline
Rotten to the core

Registered: 11/10/13
Posts: 8715
Loc: Somewhere I Belong
You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.
_________________________
Good friendships are built on a foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

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#2462848 - 03/07/18 07:50 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: DAYCLONA]
skicker Offline
Pro Stock

Registered: 06/09/05
Posts: 3900
Loc: Western Md.
Originally Posted By DAYCLONA
While the "door" is open, take advantage of this golden opportunity presented to you!


I gotta agree with Dayclona...Its not a door closing on a chapter of your life its a new one opening. One where you have control over your happiness...not someone else...
_________________________
Loving all the tears... bawling

Sorry Doc...

We'll try again in 4 years...up

Edited...Looks like it will be 8 years...biggrin

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#2462851 - 03/07/18 07:54 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: coronetgirl]
Satilite73 Offline
I Live Here

Registered: 01/19/03
Posts: 12561
Loc: Between Houston & Galveston TX
Originally Posted By coronetgirl
You were with your sick mother and your wife was not alone. She needs to put her big girl panties on and get over it.


My thoughts exactly.

Actually, what has me upset more so than the divorce is that since Oct. I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.

Had I known then what I know now....... frowwn

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#2462856 - 03/07/18 07:57 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
madscientist Offline


Registered: 09/17/14
Posts: 1969
Loc: Washington
Wow. Your wife is very selfish. I just let my wife read this. My wife in on your side. You did the right thing.

You wife has issues.
_________________________
Just because you think it won't make it true. Horsepower is KING. To dispute this is stupid. C. Alston

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#2462859 - 03/07/18 08:03 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
Iowan Online   content
super stock

Registered: 05/23/15
Posts: 765
Loc: Lost in Time
she was going to do it storm or not, I've got PTSD from 20 years of my ex. She had to go, I'm 59 divorced and happy.
_________________________
Have a great day
Iowan

"obsolete is neat, the older I get the better I was"


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#2462864 - 03/07/18 08:05 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: skicker]
Lee446 Offline
super stock

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 1103
Loc: Houston,Tx.
I will give you my take, it is better that you found out now, rather than later. If you were the one to get sick later in life, odds are, you would have woke up one morning to find that you had been abandoned. You should be proud to be one of the few that stood up and did the RIGHT THING by taking care of your sick mother! You have my respect, you are a rare person in these times. The pain will eventually go away, but for the rest of your life, you will always know, that when things went south, you stepped up to the plate and did the morally correct thing. Your wife can never say that. "Many are called, but few are chosen". Best of luck!


Edited by Lee446 (03/07/18 08:11 PM)

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#2462902 - 03/07/18 09:22 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
Orange_Crush Offline
Belieber!

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 17934
Loc: Charlotte, NC
This has been in the works for a while. She was just looking for an excuse. It sucks.
_________________________
1970 Dodge Charger R/T Hemi Orange U-code 4-speed
1971 Jaguar E-Type Series 3 V-12 4-speed 2+2 Signal Red.

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#2462904 - 03/07/18 09:24 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
mopars4ever Offline
I Live Here

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 10785
Loc: md
Quote:
I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.
Ask for it back as part of the divorce settlement.

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#2462928 - 03/07/18 10:08 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: mopars4ever]
RamblerMan Offline
master

Registered: 02/02/03
Posts: 4044
Loc: Castlegar, BC, Canada
Originally Posted By mopars4ever
Quote:
I spent my savings on making repairs to the house that went above/beyond insurance money.
Ask for it back as part of the divorce settlement.


Ask for it ALL back, plus 50% of the houses' current value. B*tch gonna PAY.

I'm sorry, but I read that and I can't believe your wife would even think of pulling this. Did she say anything prior to the Hurricane? Did you see any of this coming? If not, then she's being a selfish bint and is probably shtupping somebody on the side. (Women generally don't leave their men unless they have somebody else set up - it's just how they operate). Using the hurricane as an excuse is just low and a prime example of how unethical many women can be. (not all, but a fair percentage)

If you are going to sell your wagon, sell it to a friend for $1 who can store it for you and will let you buy it back when all the ink is dry. Don't waste a cool car over a woman. As you've seen, they're simply not worth it.

While it pains me to hear of a marriage ending and I sympathize with you (no kids involved, are there?) but from the information you've given here.... it's going to be for the better.

Any woman that isn't OK with her man looking after momma ain't no woman at all.



Edited by RamblerMan (03/07/18 10:10 PM)
_________________________
Bloody Mary, Full of Vodka, Blessed art thou among cocktails....


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#2462958 - 03/07/18 11:36 PM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: RamblerMan]
Satilite73 Offline
I Live Here

Registered: 01/19/03
Posts: 12561
Loc: Between Houston & Galveston TX

The tough pill to swallow is admitting seeing the red flags the whole time and just ignoring them. No one to blame for that but myself. Things have been tense (especially) as of late due to what I said and other things out of our control, but I wasn't expecting divorce.

And, no, she doesn't have a side guy.

Thanks everyone.

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#2462982 - 03/08/18 03:39 AM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
Guitar Jones Offline
master

Registered: 12/18/09
Posts: 9633
Loc: in a cattle trailer down by th...
Wow, just wow. Sorry for your troubles but I have to agree with others here, be glad you are getting out now.
_________________________
W5 408 cid, 1.324, 6.155 @ 110.34, 9.756 @ 134.67. Oh yeah, it's all Mopar too, 904 trans and an 8.75 rear!!

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#2462987 - 03/08/18 04:43 AM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Lee446]
Shoozy Offline
I have a foot fetish

Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 9637
Loc: Southern by Choice
Originally Posted By Lee446
I will give you my take, it is better that you found out now, rather than later. If you were the one to get sick later in life, odds are, you would have woke up one morning to find that you had been abandoned. You should be proud to be one of the few that stood up and did the RIGHT THING by taking care of your sick mother! You have my respect, you are a rare person in these times. The pain will eventually go away, but for the rest of your life, you will always know, that when things went south, you stepped up to the plate and did the morally correct thing. Your wife can never say that. "Many are called, but few are chosen". Best of luck!


Well said. Best of luck, hope you get what you should out of this
_________________________
RIP Vicki Schue, my Love, my Soulmate, you who saved me from myself. Gone but never to be forgotten.
05/26/53 - 03/13/18

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#2463004 - 03/08/18 08:06 AM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Satilite73]
DirectSubjection Offline
Tacohead. The First and Only

Registered: 01/19/03
Posts: 68685
Loc: Middlesex County, New Jersey
You only get one mom
_________________________

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#2463024 - 03/08/18 08:57 AM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: moparjim79]
Exit1965 Offline
master

Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 3226
Loc: Rancho Cordova, CA
Originally Posted By moparjim79
Sorry to hear this, but brother, I think this has been in the works for a while now, and she was looking for an excuse to spring it on you. You gave her one.


Yep.

Unless this situation was misrepresented by the OP .. what loving wife wouldn't understand a man wanting to be with his ailing mother.. then right, this was just a convenient excuse and it was going to happen sooner or later. Best to get it over with and try to move on.

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#2463033 - 03/08/18 09:21 AM Re: Been awhile since we had a relationship topic.......... [Re: Exit1965]
Rhinodart Offline
Rhinotruck

Registered: 01/20/03
Posts: 36168
Loc: Round Lake Beach, Illinoisy
Good luck, my starter wife of 35 years is taking care of her 90 year old mom at our house. She has been there for almost 2 years now and my wife is still hanging in there, she is truly the wifegod! As said above, don't give your car away, do what you can to keep it and don't worry, it is all up hill from here! penguin
_________________________
The funny thing about science is that if you change one miniscule parameter you change the entire outcome to the way you want it.

JB Rhinehart, Realist

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