Here we go again...
I thought this might be a good time for some comic relief with all the bad things happening lately.

Today I was with a friend of mine, we work together buying & selling homes.

Anyways... I am getting ready to do some drywall repair upstairs, as my friend is tearing out the old cracked concrete porch on the front of the house with a john derre front loader (bobcat lookin' thing).

So I am cleaning some tools when all of a sudden I hear this machine start makin' some serious RPM's.
This was not too common since we were in a residential neighborhood & there is no room to open this thing up & stretch it's legs.

I look out the upstairs window & to my suprise he had went from having the wheels in a horizontal position to an astonishing verticle position .
It was like one of those low riders with the three wheel motion, except he opted for two wheels & was facing the ground.

At first I thought maybe he could have been hurt, but I hear the machine shutdown & he crawls out to "survey" the situation.

At this point I am relieved to see no one was hurt, but then I procede to almost piss my pants when he tries to get this other guy to crawl back in it, to get it back on the ground the way it belongs.
The other guy was like "I'm not gettin' in that F'n thing, are you F'n nuts?" & this friend of mine was like "well you are much smaller than I am & I would do it myself except I can't get the seatbelt around my fat ass".
At this point I'm coughing my guts up from laughing so hard.

To make a long story short...
He keeps buggin' this little guy till he finally gets in there & flips it back on all four wheels.

I'm sure someone can top that one, but that was from today's current events.

since i am a teenager, and young and dumb is the name of the game i will name the stupidest thing i did this week. Well you all know about the rains out here in MI. Well a local dirt side street had some mud puddles on it. I had driven this road many times before (can you see where this is going? Well i revved up and headed for a rather nice puddle, fully expecting to make it through the mud in 2wd. Well i hit that sucker and bogged right down. So i switch to 4 high and creep foward some more, get stuck. Go to 4 lo and try and back out of it. Stuck. So i am not enjoying this, so a friend with a jeep yanks me out of the 9 or 10 inchs of mud that i now have walked through. But wait this story isnt over yet. I then vowed with him as my witness to clear that mud. I back up get a nice running start in 4wd and cleared the mud, with the driver's window open, you guessed it i am now covered in mud... Sorry for the long story

The stupidest thing I've ever done is try to blow out a gas fire as a kid. There were three of us gathered around a soup can filled with gas as a demonstration of a campfire candle. We all, on the count of three, tried blowing it out. The result was a fireball engulfing our heads. I got the worst of it singeing off all of my facial hair and the hair on my head back to my ears. Important safety note: gas fires cannot be extinguished by blowing them out.

Sold all my old Mopars!

I did a really idiotic stunt with my first car. Back in 1976 I had a 69 GTO, so on the way from High School one day with the car packed with friends, I got air borne after jumping the crest of a pretty steep hill just a few blocks away from where I live now. I shot up the hill and launched the GTO into the air as best as I could. The car landed pretty hard and blew a front tire. As I was sliding pretty much out of control I was nearing a VW micro van. I ended up sideways to the van without hitting either vehicle. The van had a stoned out hippie in it, as he just rolled down the window as gave me the Peace sign. Needless to say I drove out of there with the flat before the cops came. That was my only attempt at being a stunt driver. Now you know why I have been hanging garage doors for the last 26 years.
Stu

My last "marriage."

Stupidest thing this week... My '92 Ramcharger is making these funny squeaking noises whenever the suspension flexes, right? So, thinking it's a shock absorber or some other such thing, I proceed to stand on the rear bumper while holding onto the driprail that goes over the liftgate. As I am bouncing the truck up and down with my buddy looking under the left rear wheelhouse, the step pad on the bumper proceeds to disassociate itself with the rear bumper, with me on it. Needless, I went sprawling and my bumper fell apart, while my buddy is laughing his buttinski off at me. I later find out that the step pads were held onto the bumper with silicone and double-sided tape. Can you say retard fix? Anyway, that's my stoopid trick of the week.

My latest stupid trick is to try and bend back the crankshaft of my new mower after I hit a cast-iron water meter cover in my front yard. Me and a friend took a sledge hammer and wailed on it until it was semi-straight. Put the new blade on it and it fired right up with hardly any vibration! Got most of the way through the yard before all he!! broke lose and shrapnel flying everywhere. Luckily the blade extension pieces just missed me and hit the house instead. I just ordered a new short block for $150.

When I was 18 I was rolling my '65 off of the trailer while it was connected to my dad's van, or so I thought it was connected. made it about half way when the trailer tongue shot up, I then slammed the breaks, as the trailer tonque smashed into the back doors of the van, all I could do was keep rolling it back and wait to apologize to my dad, he was pretty understanding, never did fix it. Oh yeah, one time I was racing my mom's LeBaron in Street at Byron when I accidently deep staged, as I was backing up I looked up and the starter had already started the tree, so I stopped and on the last yellow I stomped on it, and almost bounced my head off the dash as I was still in reverse, I then put it in drive, and all I could do was hope the other guy readlighted. he didn't. :spank

Heres mine,I was working on my wifes car in my garage I was going to start the car, but sometimes the choke would mess up and it was easier to pop the hood and manually work the choke and just jump it off from under there.Well I didnt realize that the car was in gear when I did this,when the car fired up the choke stuck and it took off out of the garage across the back yard and slammed into a pine tree.Luckily I was standing on the side of the car when this happened.As for the car it didnt fair to well agint the pine tree.As for the car beign in gear I later found out that my son was playing in it and had put it in gear.Lesson learned...............

Just about a month ago the battery in my wifes escort went dead. I checked the water levels, put it on the charger overnight. Still dead. Went and got the battery out of the Scamp, dropped it into the Escort and proceeded to hook up the positive cable to the negative post, and when I put the negitive cable on the positive post,,,,, I got lots of sparks,,, and the cable kind of stuck there so I couldn't pull it right off.. then silence,,, nothing.
I'm thinking, oh great, I just blew up the entire electrical system on my wifes car. Luckilly it just blew out the fusable link.. I replaced it, and got the Correct Battery, and everthing was fine.
But I felt pretty stupid after almost 30 years of working on cars, that was the first time I hooked up a battery backwards.

at about 11-12 a couple friends and I built a airplane.

Using our soapbox derby and go-cart expertise we built a plywood 2 seater. we knew it wouldn't take off on level ground so we intended to use a really seep hill to get it off the ground. We used the engine and blade (we THOUGHT the blade would make a good prop)from my dad's mower.

we spend 2 months biulding the whole thing in secret, then one saturday we take the engine (planning to have it back by the time anyone notices)and haul it up to the highest steepest hill in town, fire it up get in and have two other kids push it and get it going.

full throttle it's rolling down the hill at about 25-30 (feels like 200) and about 1/2 way down the hill the the the engine brakes loose and goes skipping swidways into someones yard and through the fence into another yard. plane falls apart nearly killing us. my friend had a broken arm, I had a broken rib.

Dad was NOT happy

We use to wrap M80's in molded Dynamite stuffed into film vials. One would hold it and throw it, one would light it. We all still have our fingers surprisingly. Young and stupid sure has more meaning after you turn 42.

Great one. Reminds me of the time I hit the DIxie Horn of my buddy's General Lee pedal car as I screamed YEE-HAWWWWWW...Only to realize that the car was quickly becoming no-longer-with-me and I was about to end up with road-rash.

heres a stupid one that happened about a year ago. Ever let a car down off of lift and have your foot in the wrong place? Fortunately it was a small honda and i was wearing my steel toe boots.

I was helping friends load an engine into the back of a pickup once, and the hoist got stuck so we backed the truck under the motor. I was holding the thing steady while he backed the truck up, and he stopped right on my foot! Not once, but twice! He didn't know what all the yelling was about the first time, and I should've learned before it happened again. I gots big feet, and luckily nothing broke(in my foot!)

I also remember as kids, we used to build firecracker bombs by taping as many as we could together and twisting the wicks, then lighting them and running. We also used to fill soda cans with firecrackers and match heads, and rig a wick to it. Those suckers were pretty neat, minus the aluminum shrapnel.
Didja notice how a lot of these stupid things have to do with fire...

Funny how the "Inner Child" tends to be such a Pyro!

one of the many stupid things i've ever done but the funniest in my mind is, a sweaty forehead is not a good thing to try to hold down a drill press arm so you can clamp something down centered. Drill press wins my eyebrow split

Coulda been worse...Coulda used your teeth.

I was the last kid lying down in a line of six that my friend attempted to jump on his bike when I was ten. It's really hard to catch your breath when someone slams into your chest from about three feet in the air. A lot of force went into my ribcage from that little contact patch. I'm surprised I survived.

theres so many where do I start/Childhood Teen years....Last Week?

Inveited a friend over after school and thought it would be cool if i cooked some french fries for us to eat. waiting for the oil to boil on the top burner i went outside to play with my dogs for a few miutes. When I came back inside there was a fire and smoke everywere, I panicked and reached for one of those squirter, built into the sink and sprayed the fire with water. Do my surprise it just flared up. Then I really panicked I grabed the pot of fire with my hands and got burned so i took my shirt off wrapped it around my hands and began to run outside with it. Every so many feet boiling oil would splatter on me and I would put the pot down temporaily. Besides melting off all the knobs on the oven above and turing the ceiling black I burned a cirlce in the counter top(also burning cabnets above black), and at 2 places in the linoleum floor. I made it outside and dumped the oil in the driveway (luckily the flames went out right away) I had scars on my arms for the next 2-3 years

Bought a Mercury Sable.

Putting jack stands under the rear axle of my '70 Barracuda and then taking off the U-bolts to remove it.

Well lets just say I've done ALOT of stupid things.................

Bought a used Taurus.

No, wait, that's the second most stupid thing I've ever done. The first was driving my old Challenger around the block without first securing its lift-off glass hood. I was only doing 20 mph, not enough to float a hood, right? Wrong! That hood came up, over, and landed flat on the road behind the car. Nobody saw me, thank God. But that was long ago, I can talk about it now...

Uh...willing to share? Trying to fix the dryer WHILE watching the Ohio State-v-Michigan game. I was so into the game I forgot to unplug the dryer. DOH!!!!

Listening to a LT. in the Army about how deep a ditch was at night. He had the night vision goggles and I told him it was too steep from what I could see without them. He told me to go ahead. Let's just say he had to climb out my side of the Hummer to get out and have a howitzer pull up back over so we could keep going. Only time I got a Hummer stuck.

Peed out a campfire on a date.

I've done lots of retarded things in my 24 years, but the #1 stupidest thing I've EVER done:
Buying my 1996 Ram

1989....Frozen bolts holding fuel pump on a 305 Chevy that I was getting ready for a Demo Derby.
Figured a little heat would be good. As soon as that torch touched off the gas in the pump, BOOM!. Buckled the valve covers and crapped my pants.

(God, there's just to many to list... )

*stupidest thing I've ever done?*

I'll have to get back to you on that... too many to really list.

Nuthin'. Ever. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

When I was 14 my friends and myself were in our "Explosives" club meeting in my yard, I called them to order on my huge surplus Army PA sustem whick could be hearfd for blocks.
we decided to help one of thr guys dads clear his rotting Dock so he can build a new one before his new boat was delivered. his dad expected our help would be in the form of muscle but we checked invetory and found a good supply of chemstry was to ba had.
so each of us began making his own version of small pipe bomb.
we used empty steel cylinders and nicrome wite for ign. embeded it and sealed top with wax then fiberglass resin.
we had 6 different units consisting of at least 5 pounds of pure Sodium metal, 8 pounds of pure Magnesium powder, very fine alum powder, organic carbon,10 pounds of potassium Nitrate,Pure sulpher, Chlorine powder 5 lbs.. it was all put in different proportions in each cyl and the cul was wrapped with a few pounds of lead sheet and sealed.. we also bade a few baby size cyl bombs for later play.
went to the house no one at home,great. buried each unit about 10 feet apart along the dock and canal and ran the wires to the front of the house. we sat in the garage and i stuck the wires on a car battery for each and a push button on the second wite.
its go time. we were also doing a little smoking to keep from being bored.
I push button 1 . nothing for a minute we start toward yard. KABOOM! 1,KABOOM!2 1KABOOM!3 1KABOOM! 4 so on the entire yard was engulfed in a fireball of bright green and silver from the chlorine and mag. wood and dirt flying everywhere. and all the alum siding and windows blown off the back of his house and most of the neighbors.
the dock was totally gone as was most of the dirt from under it and it blocked 1/2 the canal and covered boats from the other side of the canal.
and oh yea the neighbors poodle somehow was blown across the canal and on the otherside unharmed but all black and dirty.
wood was floting everywhere and loads of dead fish from the shrapnell.
the fireball died down and the house trim was burning we hosed it down and it went out.
total toast was the theme of that day
and 2 of us ended up with pieces of steel embedded in us for many years after
this is just a generalization it looked like the end of the world back there.
The police bomb special taskforce came and interview each of us and wanted to know who was teaching us these tactics went on for 4 hrs .
boy oh boy were we punished. I was grounded for 4 months confined to the house for the summer also.
of courese we coutinued right where we left off with after school shows every week.
ps his dad spent 5k to fix up everything

My (former) best friend and I used to do a lot of dumb things in High School.

1. I remember going to McDonalds once and bursting out laughing when he mooned the glass with everyone inside looking. (No kids in there by the way)

2. Once we thought it would be cool to ride a push mower down a really big hill with a paved road on it. We later found out that no matter how hard you try, you can't make a push mower steer just a little to the right just by shifting your weight. Nor by grabbing the spinning wheel. You just have to hit the ditch with your freshly tire imprinted hand.

3. Had an old go kart and a good 6 foot hill at the end of my drive way. "Hey, lets get your truck and push you up the hill and see how hi you jump" Turns out a 4 cylinder Ranger is only good for a 3 foot jump. It wasn't until we got bold with my 440 charger that he jumped 5 feet and coasted 100 before he stopped. His eyes were like
I forgot to mention that there was some sort of flower planting enclosure there with 4 2x4s as post. There was probably only 3 inches of clearance on either side of the wheels.
No pressure.....

4. Then once in an astro van we thought it would be cool to exit the side door and come back in on the driver side window, after ryding on the roof for a while.. Man it's windy at 40 mph.

5. We also figured out that you could use those election signs that pollute the roadsides at election time as some cool land skis. Just hang on to the b pillar on said van. Man those sparks are bright....

6.Also learned not to have burnout contest in the parking lot 200 feet from the school. Authority figures hate that. Especially doughnuts.

7. On school spirit week, we thought it would be a good Idea to make 2 "I'm with stupid" shirts for the twins day. What we didn't plan on was the number of teachers that get mad at you when you go to the front of the class and stand beside them with afforementioned shirts on. Whoops!

8.Don't drive a car missing it's driver door when your neghbor 2 houses down has some freshly neutered dovermans. They can run fast, and if you don't fall out, they can probably jump in.

9. 4 spare tires and no jack are worthless. You sure can fit a lot of stuff in a 63 buick, jack notwithstanding. That was an exciting trip. (please see above stupid tidbit)

10. A junk 87 CRX can and will jump 5 feet at a 45mph roll. The car will hold up fine, except for the front bumper and core support. They will adapt to the crash position.

11. Rusty mufflers don't make it 2 jumps. Man thats a loud ricer.

12. Do not snatch an e brake at 65 mph and attempt one of those cool 180s. That always turns into 3 cool 180s, and will infuriate dates.

13. Same with tidbit number one.

Y'all are AWESOME !! It's almost like Tim Allen and Jeff Foxworthy were cloned together!!

I did more dumb and dangerous stuff than I'll ever admit to. One thing I did that wasn't particularly dangerous but was definately dumb was stay awake for a whole weekend. I was 18 or 19 and my parents were out of town for the weekend. Party time, right? Well I partied friday night and worked all day Saturday, partied Saturday night and worked all day Sunday. Sunday night I had a "real date" with a "hot girl" at the local drive in movie. After about an hour we jump into the back seat for more room and guess what I did ? Yup, I took about a 2 hour nap! Boy was she totally unimpressed! Thats the last time I saw her and the last time I stayed awake for 72 hours.

here's my motor themed stupidest thing, (waaay to many unmotor things to list!!!) I was building my SWEET 347 stroker for my 77 Bronco, and whilst putting it together and sipping (yeah right) beers, it came time for the fuel pump eccentric, timing cover, etc. Oh wait, I am running an electric fuel pump, I'll just leave the eccentric out. Yep, left the hold down bolt for it out too, and sure enough, lasted long enough to get about 11 miles in on the Behind The Rocks trail in Moab, and WHAM!!!! cam came right out the front of the motor and SEVERE carnage insued. Hey, I saved the carb and Jacobs ignition!!!

I'm gonna have to go with the time I tried to pul a stump out of the front lawn with my gold 71 fury III. 50 ft. chain, 25ft of slack, and one hell of a holeshot.

Then there was the time we took a similar car to a fly-in lake in Canada....


2tons

Okay my turn.

Back in 1983 I owned a 74 Challenger that I bought from a co-worker for $40.00 it was a beater I drove in the winter. Anyway it was about 65% rust could not put anything into the trunk because if you took a turn anything that was in the trunk would fall out the sides because they were rusted away. Anyway you get the picture. This car had only one redeeming quality a 318 that could lay down 50feet of rubber and smoke. I worked at a grocery store that had some other shops in it in the same strip mall and one of the stores in the mall used those plastic shopping carts. One evening we get out of work from the grocery store late and all the stores in the mall were closed. My buddy and I hop in the challenger and we started home. Driving through the empty parking lot was a lone plastic shopping cart sitting there all by itself. Well I point the Chally at the cart and get up a nice head of steam and at about 60 mph I nail this cart dead on. Well all we saw after that was an explosion of plastic and metal. Slow down and circle back around and all that was left of the cart was the metal frame all twisted and bent and plastic bits everywhere in a 30ft radius of impact. My buddy thought I was going to play chicken with the cart and nearly crapped his pants when we nailed this cart at 60mph.

Needless to say for weeks after there were several dead shopping carts left in the parking lot until the store that owned them started doing a better job of collecting there carts at the end of the day.

Also those carts did absolutley no damage to my challenger, not that you could tell anyway but thats a testament to old iron.

You people are hilarious! OMG - the bombs, airplanes.!?

One painful events tends to stand out in my life:

A bunch of college buddies were at my house in NH at Xmas break. We get a big aircraft innertube out of the garage from my stepdad's days as a mechanic. We wicked over-inflate it and all 8 of us can fit on it. We get going down the farmer's big hill next to our house pretty fast when we learned you can't brake or steer if your feet can't touch the ground, but if you sit up and try...you fall off. Did I mention the farmer uses this hill for grazing, and it's strewn with rocks? The three who fell off were the lucky ones.. Five remaining drunks head towards the bottom of the hill with the road just beyond. Luckliy the farmer has removed the electric fence for the winter, but we still hit a metal post which does nothing to stop the tube, but gashes it rather permanently with us still on it. We bounce into the ditch and skid across the road at like 300mph on a now completely FLAT innertube and slam first into the curb... then the stone fence on the other side...... ow.

The Body Count: 1 dead innertube, Jason lost all hearing in his left ear and ruptured his spleen (removed), 2 broken noses, 1 broken ankle, a broken wrist, cracked collar bone, 1 dislocated shoulder (me ), & numerous cuts stitched shut (3 stitches in my knee, 1 on my head).

Worst part: Sobering up and seeing the sun rise after 5 hours in the emergency room.

The best part: 7 friends for life. We still go camping in NH, Jason & his wife just had their first baby, Ron has two kids, Tom has 5, etc, etc.

I'll add one more just because it is documented with such a great picture. This is what happens when you work on your 8 3/4 differential on your wife's glass patio table.

Happened here over a year ago and I STILL Howl every time I see it!

A few years ago my father in law asked me to drive him into town to run some errends. I took the wheel of his extremely pampered 80's something Chevy pickup. The grocery store and hardware store went great, all that was left was the post office. I didn't realize that the brackets for his big towing mirrors stuck out way past the mirrors (he had the heads swung in towards the truck) When I pulled up to the mailbox I hooked the mirror bracket on the mailbox and caved the whole door in!

A friend of mine's house had an abandonded well. One day, a few of us kids decide to see if we can get a nice boom by pouring some gas down this 3 inch pipe into the old well. One gallon down the hole, a lit pack of matches....nothing. Must need more gas...so another gallon goes in....nothing. 2 more gallons go down, then the pack of matches...nothing...until about 10 seconds later when we hear this low rumbling sound, followed by a very loud boom, followed by about a 30 foot high flame out of the pipe and the entire ground within a 50 ft radius of the pipe lifts what seemed a ft or so! Pretty awesome sight....we spent about 3 hrs trying to fix that side lawn to hide the damage.

I got another recent one.
I found a junk 10 gallon water tank and was going to use it for air 30psi for filling tires.
I know they take around 40-50 psi normally with water.
so i cleaned it up stood it on its end and put some air fittings on it with a mini regulator and gauge.
I connected the air line to my house supply (135psi) and expeted it to fill to 30 and stop. nope bad regulator I snagged from work.
at 50 the tank sides bulged it started to shake and I ran like hell around the house my dog at my heels.
then suddenly BOOM!!!!!.
my ears hurt. I looked back and the tank was on its way to the moon with a 100 feet vapor trail from the ground. on the grass was a 12" steel circle which was the bottom end left.
air hose tore.
I never saw wehre the tank and parts landed it was waaaay far away but hope it was not on someone.
note to self check freebie regulators first.
now I only use x propane and disposable helium tanks for air tanks.

remember the old roadrunner cartoons(Thats a stupid question on this site) Well remember when the roadrunner would buzz down the road with the cayote on his tail and that fire left on the road behind him,well me and a friend around age 12 tried that with a can of gas thinking wed wait till a car would drive by and then lght the gas and it would chase the car well the car went by and we were trying to light the gas but couldnt get it started the car is long gone so the next one comes along and i guess he saw what we were doing,It was the school principal and I dont need to say any more except I wont do to my kid what my dad did to me!!

This should go in the Best Of Moparts. It's been a long time since I've laughed til I cried like this.

I did so many stupid things in my youth that I should have been dead many times.

But here is a more recent one. I had a block machined and was doing the assembly myself. Pistons and crank were in and I was looking over the paperwork I got from the machine shop. I didn't see anything about a sonic test. Since it was .060 over, I had ordered a sonic test. I called the machine shop and he said he must have forgot to tell me, there was a couple of thin spots at the bottom of a couple of cylinders. So I should probably short fill the block to be on the safe side. Well crap! It was already finish honed and assembled. I was running short on time, so we decided I would measure each bore in 12 locations, add block fill to 1/3 full, then re-measure after it was set up to decide if it needed to be torn down and re honed. So to keep the motor clean while I filled it, I wrapped shrink wrap round and round it, then just poked little holes in the shrink wrap where I could pour the hard block in thru the coolant holes in the deck. Looks good, ought to work, so I mixed up the hard block and started to pour. I checked the depth with a welding rod "dip stick" and it wasen't too deep. So I poured a bit more and checked it again. Still not as deep as I would expect. I step back and take a look.... Oh son of a @#%$&, I forgot to put the frost plugs in! The hardblock is running out the frost plug holes and filling up between the shrink wrap and the outside of the block, and some of it was getting under the pan rail and starting to fill up inside the crank case! So I franticly cut the shrink wrap off the bottom and sides, install the frost plugs, and start trying to clean everything before the stuff hardens into concrete. What a stupid mess! I was kicking myself for a week over that one. But surprisingly, everything turned out good, no chuncks of concrete were ever found floating around the motor and it didn't have to be re-honed.

I left mt truck idleing in the driveway and took the Bee to work one day. At about 4:30 my neighbor calls me and tells me his wife wants to know why my truck has been running in the driveway all day. Traded it in soon after

My most recent happened about an hour ago.

I worked on my TA engine the other night and when I worked on it I put a large cushioned packing/moving blanket on the air cleaner and valve covers to put wrenches and so forth on.

Beautiful night for a short cruise and asked the next door neighbor if he wanted to go. We go out to some back roads and I pull over to switch drivers. The neighbor is now driving doing rather well. He told me he hasn't driven an older car in years. He is getting on the 4 speed pretty good, but something is not quite smelling right. We are almost home and it is starting to stink. He pulls it in the driveway and shuts it down. I get out, pop the hood and the blanket is down on the exhaust manifold and is starting to smolder. can't believe it didn't go up or get caught in the belts. Sure I can laugh now, but I almost had a bonfire TA. I'm such a knucklehead.

Rick.

Can remember being like 15 or 16 and having my first '69 Dart 4-dr. It needed jacked up for something and I remember wanting to use the K-member (before I knew the front framerails could be used as jack-points), so I get the floor jack out, start jacking, then BOOM! Car goes backwards off the jack, bending the radiator (its curved upwards nicely in the middle), crushing the lower tank, and benind the lower metal piece. Suprisingly the Radiator still held water!

And I still have pictures of me trying to push my '74 Monaco up onto the ramps so I could change the starter, lets just say one person cannot do this alone! Pic:





How it stopped about an inch (literally) short of the door I dont know.

Another time I was in my Dads Ferd with a manual transmission backing into the same garage, well, somehow the door got caught at a 90 degree angle and was hitting the back of the tailgate. So I got out, left it in Neutral (thinkig it wouldnt roll) and swung the door out. Lets just say that I moved into the garage rather fast that time.

Last one and I'm done. Happened last weekend, needed to unload the 5th Ave so I could put it where I wanted it, meaning stop in the road and push it off the dolly. Well, I wasnt prepared for what was about to happen. Lets say it ROLLED backwards at a fast rate (no driveshaft) and the column was locked. I thought it was heading for the ditch. I've never ran so fast in my life (to try and catch it), luckily I was able to jump in and hit the brake.

Believed my wife when I asked her if she was seeing someone else.

hmm,

One that comes to mind is this.

I used to own an 86 Daytona. When I was back home on leave I used to visit my brother. To get to his house I had to cross a raised bed railroad track. Well, I used to watch the Dukes a lot so I figured I'd get airborne. 40 mph was the ticket, I'd come down evenly on all four tires at that speed. Well, one night I am going to my brother's house with him and his wife, a friend and his girlfriend and my date, yep 6 people in a Daytona. I had been telling them about my airborne exploits when we come up on the track. I decided to go for it. Now I figured with the extra load I'd need more speed, so I hit it at 60 mph and again a nice all fours down landing. Needless to say the females didn't appreciate the ride, but us guys thought it was great. Next day I am going to my brother's house again. I come up on the track and remebering the night before I hit it at 60 mph...alone. I landed nose first and got squirelly all over the gravel road but managed to save it. I bent my K member and cracked my oil pan though.

Now you'd think I'd of learned my lesson, nope. I later killed the Mighty Dart doing one too many jumps. It was kinda swaybacked when I got done with it. Oh well.

Steve

About a month ago I got my lawnmower stuck in mud at bottom of deep ditch. Unhooked trailer from truck and used strap to pull mower out. In the process of reattaching trailer to truck something distracted me. Well when my wife pulled mower on to trailer the front of the trailer flipped up and made a nice scrape down the center of the tail gate. At least the chains were hooked. Well last weekend I decided to mow across a ditch in the back forty. I've done this many times except I did not take into account the ground being soft from all the rain. Ditch wins again. Or the time I tried to take my 2 wheel drive truck down by a creek while it was raining. Wait my brother said it was ok lol. Had to be drug out with a tractor.

OK, one more. Not me but a friend of mine. He set up a new waterbed and after it was filled decided to try and move it closer to the wall.

So he sits on the floor, back to bed, puts his feet on the wall and pushes for all he's worth. You guessed it.....the result is a giant hole in the drywall!

first car-69 383 superbee, playing around in the snow with old girlfriend, thought it would be funny to take out a freshly piled up snowbank(Dukes of Hazzard days)used the drivers side front fender to clip the snow-found a nice fat New York City fire hydrant UNDER the snow-I can still feel my the steering wheel in my chest-she had a seatbelt on ! needed a new fender,bumper,headlight bezel(hammerd out the hood)oh well-live and learn(sometimes)

Hitting a hump in the road in my semi at 65 MPH. Diid you know you can get a bob tail airborne? Neither me or my dad had seatbellts on, and when we hitt i we were both looking ino the storage compartment above the seats. Surprisingly, didn't break noothing when it landed. Steered funny after though, but not bad.

getting airbourne in my lil red every night till the frame cracked and could not steer no more great fun though

Trade my 70 Charger R/T for a 64 malibu ss vert, and throw away a 1969 4:10 dana 60 because it was taking up too much space in Dads shed...This all happened in the late 70`s

Deciding to track my 6-pack's gas mileage.




Johnny

Said..."I Do"

im with them on top..good call..

lowering the manual convertable top on a 1968 IHC scout travelling 65 mph in rush hour traffic... in 1968

needless to say, my father wasnt very happy

18 years old-first car-69 383 superbee-auto-bench seat-driving girlfriend home in snow-watched sanitation snowplow pushing pile of snow onto curb-tried to plow thru the snow like the jeep commercials-unfortuneately there was a New York City fire hydrant in the snow bank and took out my drivers fender, door buckeled, grille, hood , rad support-no seatbelts-you get the idea...that was 1981 when things were a little easier to find-fixed it and wrecked it again that summer-bad-sold the motor and trans to friend for his Dart-junked the Bee-what were we thinking-or not-lol

every day is a personal challenge for me! here's two that stick w/ me:

1. installing a retractable seatbelt setup from Juliano's into my 70 swinger. it requires you to redrill/open up the hole in the mounting point box on the roof. im drilling away, using about a 1/2 inch bit, when the drill binds up. i stop, stretch my hurting wrist a bit, then hammer down again. well, the the bit becomes unbound, and pulls itself uncontrollably up towards the roof! i let of the trigger, but it still pulls up enough to put a small dimple outward into the roof of my fresh, sublime paintjob. i was sick to my stomach. i packed up and didnt go back into the garage for a week! the dimple is still there, it kind of spider webbed the clear coat, but there's no hole. it's one of those things i would have to point out to someone, but haunts me everyday!

2. slam-bamming my 68 cuda 4 spd car together(hillbilly rust bucket), for a jaunt around the neighborhood with some friends. saturday night, 19 years old. had just put a new fuel line, sending unit and tank in. the car had open headers, no insurance, no tags, no lights ect. really, missing the whole front except fenders. anyway, we need gas. we go to the filling station, shooting flames out the headers the whole way there! we, of course put sunoco 94 in the tank, since it was a race car and all with it's 318! i get about 8 gallons or so in there, and start seeing gas pouring out from under the car! so, we freak out, try to start the flaming header machine to get out of there! thank god, the car wouldnt start. we pushed it 2 miles back home, in front of all the people we were hotrodding past on the way there. feeling like total idiots. when we got home, i had to drain and drop the tank. one buddy volunteers to siphon with garden hose. it worked, he was sicker than a dog though. found out the leak was that stupid lockring and gasket on the gas tank. i hate that design!

used a thermoquad carb on a 318 i used to have

I onced owned a Ebco Stinger tunnel hull boat with a 135 HP Chrysler. That boat would turn on a dime ! We were on a large lake jumping across the wakes left by houseboats ( can you say Air Time !! ) when I jumped across one wake and made a sharp turn ( this happened of course after many brewski's, Little Kings, as a matter of fact). Anyway the boat suddening stopped , I turned around, and I had thrown the motor off of the boat. My jawed dropped ( Oh ----- !!). I looked again , my motor was floating and hanging by the steering cable. Being the true Mopar man that I am, we got a tow back to the dock, loaded the boat, and took it back to the house. I drained the carbs, motor, drilled
some holes in the transom, and strapped the broken motor mounts down with some U-bolts. In a hour and a half we were back on the lake consuming Little Kings and flying across the lake. Slowed down on the wake jumps and turns during that day though !

I've done WAY too many stupid things. I can't pick the stupidest. Hmmmmmmm. Lets just say, that I'm lucky to still be able to walk.

the stupidest thing that i ever did was to sell my business and sign a contract that kept me there for 5 years.my contract runs out in 10 days.

good stuff... ...ok here's some...put the domed pistons in my first "pop-up" piston engine in backwards...then driving it 3000 miles before it finally spun a rod beariing...had the cutest little "smilies" in the tops of all the pistons...
...stood between two cars on the side of the highway hooking up jumper cables...that cost me 3 months in a wheel chair and 6 months out of work......borrowed a set of heads to break in my new engine while mine were being finished, just couldn't wait ya know, borrowed heads had roller valve springs, I was running a flat tappet cam...nice...real nice...

Posting a "Goodbye" thread here on Moparts.

Hi Eric.

slaming my cuda door shut and shattering the glass in a million pieces from being at the car needless to say, i learned to never do that again.

Welcome back, Satellite6.

One thing I never like to admit!
I was installing a new intake on my 340 dart one day, and working at my parents auto repair business at the same time, I had everything ready to put the intake on, and laid one of those red cotton shop rags across the lifter area, to keep things from possibly ruining my nice clean prepared surfaces and thinking I would just lay the intake and carburetor on for a second to see what it looked like, how tall, etc....Well, you can tell where this is going? The shop got busy all of the sudden and a few hours later, getting back to "my" favorite project...I forgot about that rag! I spent lots more time getting the rag out of the oil pump drive and oil pump and oil filter!!!! What a mess!
Thanfully, my Brother's and Dad have forgot and never mention it anymore! That was about 20 years ago! And I ALWAYS check even the small things and never get in a hurry anymore, at least on My stuff!

Two words:

"I do".

Hey DG you stold my reply!
Tim

PS a buddy called me about 10 years ago and said his ElCamino was skipping and clicking real bad after an intake swap, well I pilled the intake and there were the remains of 2 shop rags wrapped around everything. Had to pull the engine and clean out the red fuzz.

In my youth (Pyro) My friend and I found a LARGE Co2
bottle the kind that Military Avaitors use in
their emergency live vests. We played w/ the Co2 from pellet guns filled them up and put fuses in the top and lit them and ran. BUT THIS ONE WAS HUGE!!!! about 7-8in long and about 1 1/2 in diameter, we filled that thing up and we were just itchin to light this thing off. We hoped in my truck ( we both came to the concensus that we probabaly DONT want to light this thing off in the city NO need for the SWAT team and the Bomb squad showin up to crash our party) and headed out for the woods.

We found a back road and went for it, we came upon an OLD washing machine The ones that have concrete in the bottoms.... PERFECT!!!! the fuse on this thing is aprox 15 minutes to get the HELL out of the area, My buddy smokes and said let me brake off the filter and light the cigerette and that gives us another 15 min.

He lights the cig and takes a puff and sticks the fuse in the end of the cig and we get in the truck and HAUL ARSE.

10 min go by

15 minutes go by gettin a little nervous

20 min still nothing we were askin our selves if we should go check if the cig went out.

25 min gettin impatent

30 min NOTHING

OK it went out, we get out wits up to go see if it indeed did go out. We just jump out off the bed of the truck. and the INSTANT our feet hit the ground......... BOOM............. We were over 100 yards away and we heard shrapnel flyin above our heads


That was our last time playin w/ explosives .............Then I joined the Marine Corps

sliding my Concorde sideways down the street and the into somebodies yard. That was on purpose until I got to the yard yesterday.

Stupidest thing? You mean besides a Norelco on the tongue? Hmmm. Have to think for a minute.

Ok. Got it.

Before we were married, my wife lived in an apartment. One year for Christmas, I decided to give her a VCR for one of her presents. Went to hook it up and realized that the electrical outlet by the TV, only had one recepticle working. Now, since outlets are like a buck at Wally World, I figured I'd just replace it, instead of having to wait for the maintenance guy to show up eventually. So, I bought an outlet but hadn't installed it yet. This is where it gets good.
I was getting ready to pick her up for the company Christmas party, so I decided it'd be cool to drive the Charger. Went to the party, had a good time, got back to her place afterwards. I decided, at 9pm on a Sunday night, that this would be a good time for me to switch out the outlet. She started to change out of her dress clothes, in preparation for bed, while I got the "implements of destruction" ready. I took the faceplate off, and pulled the outlet and wires out from the wall. The previous installer had attached the wires, not with the Man screws, but with the lazy, yuppy push-in-and-lock slot. You know what I'm talking about, right? In order to release the wire from the back of the outlet, you have to push in on a little tab by each hole, which then releases the wire. Instead of the screw, unscrew alternative. My girlfriend/wife only had a pair of screwdrivers, a hammer, and a pair of pliers that a mechanic had left in her car at some time. None of the aforementioned "tools" would fit into the itty-bitty hole to release the wire. Ahhhh, but! She did have a nice, slender, serrated steak knife in the kitchen. Now, I'm not stupid. I did shut off the breaker that powered up that circuit so I wouldn't fry myself. Bad part was, was the lights in that half of the apartment were also on the same breaker. No problem. Rounding out her tool stash, was one of them plastic, dollar flashlights. Perfect for this job. I proceeded, by the light of the magic lamp (flashlight) to hold the outlet in one had, while pushing on the tab with the steak knife in the other AND pulling on the wire with a couple fingers off the first hand. Got it? So, I'm pushing, pulling, pushing, pulling and POP!!! The first wire comes out. Then the second wire, I'm pushing, pulling, pushing some more and POP!!! The second wire is released from it's electrical prison. Only one wire left. I readjust the flashlight and proceed. I'm pushing, pulling, and pushing some more. It's being stuborn. Pushing, pulling, pushing and...... You know the sound you might make, if you were playing in the bathtub, and you wanted to make boat motor noises? You'd put your mouth just under the water line and blow bubbles while humming, right? Sort of a "bububububububub". Remember that. So, I was still pushing, pulling trying to get the last wire out of the back of the outlet, when (motorboat noise here * ) up the knife, my ring finger did go. Just like a kid with a stick running along a picket fence. My instant reflex was to shake my hand (everybody does this when they cut or smash a finger/hand, right?) and when I did, I felt something wet hit my face. I then grabbed my finger, and in the dark, said, "Uh, PAAMMMMM. I think you'd better get in here!" Which she did. Came running out of the bathroom where she had only had time to partially, um, get ready for bed. She said, "What?!" I said I cut my finger as I was passing her for the bathroom. I got in there and put my hands in the sink and opened my hand and I won't tell you about what I saw. I closed my hand, told her I needed a paper towel or 3. I looked at myself in the mirror and figured out what the wet stuff was that hit me in the face, blood. She got me the paper towels and asked me if I thought I needed stitches. I opened my hand up and she said, "YES!!!!" So, here's the problem. Half the apartment is dark, where's my keys, wires hanging out of the wall, I didn't want to flip the breaker and burn the whole complex down, so, I did what anybody else would have done: I finished the job. She held the flashlight, and I, with my finger wadded up in a papertowel, continued to push and pull til the stupid wire came out. Put the new one in, WITH the lazy man's way (I had a good reason, ok?). Got it mounted and then flipped the breaker on only to see a 3 foot line of red stuff running up the wall from where I had been working. Called my parent's house and let my mom know what was going on. She wanted to know if I could drive (4 speed Charger). Said yes. Girlfriend and I left the apartment to the walk-in healthcare, just a couple blocks up the street. Closed. Had to drive to the hospital. Drove to the highway, ran a quick jaunt down to the next exit. Exiting the highway, funny thing. The Charger hiccupped (or missed). It had never done that, but it was still running and since the hospital was only 2 blocks away, didn't see any reason to turn around and go home. Got in to the emergency room and they started fixing me up. The doctor came in with the big needle and said he was going to stick the finger with numbing stuff (the name escapes me at this writing, I'm tired, ok?). No problem, I'll just lay here and not watch you do that. He splayed my hand out on the table and spread out my fingers. Took the needle and jabbed it into the one side of my finger, almost ramming it through the table, or so I thought. Then the other side, same thing, except it felt like he didn't remove it completely, before he rotated it and then it felt like he was running down the length of my finger, before removing it. He left. I told Pam, "It FELT like he was trying to stick it through the TABLE." She said, "It LOOKED like he was trying to stick it through the table!" He came back and started his work. He said, "You're probably wondering what this white, fatty looking stuff is called (that was sticking out)." I said yes. He said, "That's white fatty stuff." Great. A comedian. 4 stitches and we left the E-room. Started for home, but not the highway (Thank God, now that I think about it, some 10 years later...). Got a mile or so from the hospital and the Charger missed/coughed again. Hmmmm. Then once more, and then it just quit altogether. Looked at the gauges and ARRRGH!! Out of gas. Luckily, we coasted into the parking lot of a gas station, except they were closed. Told Pam to give me a quarter so I could call home. She said, "Um, I cleaned out my purse before the party." Unbelievable. Had to call my mom, collect, to bring me some gas, at the gas station where we were sitting.

That sounds more like a saturday night gone wrong.

It really didn't have to do with you being stupid.

Except for maybe using a stake knife.

my ex wife.......

1) The single most stupid thing I have ever done was to punch a wall and break my one and only hand, while in high school. I told my father that I hurt it during a wrestling match. The story was working until the Dr. came out and told us it was a classic boxers break.




2)I was climbing in a tree cutting branches out of it with a bow saw. I got used to using the same branches to move around the tree. I only feel 10 feet after grabbing one I just cut.

3) I took one of those disposable flash cameras apart to look inside. I was poking around and touched the leads to the flash capacitor(sp) The wife heard the crack all the way across the house. Ouch.

4) Not me, but I watch my father heat up an exhaust manifold with a Acetelyne(sp) torch trying to remove a busted stud. He set the torch down and grabbed the manifold with his bare hand. I couldn't understand how he could be that stupid. Until I "forgot", After working around really hot things you can forget/take for granted, that they're hot.

Signed up to a all Mopar site!!! J/K